Weekends in ParadelleHiraeth
Years ago, I came upon a Welsh word that describes a feeling I have had since I was a child. The word is hiraeth. They say it is difficult to translate, but it refers to a kind of homesickness for a place to which we cannot return. But it might not be a yearning for an actual “home” I ever lived in, such as a house or a town.
There was a woman I know who was deeply into New Age thinking. She told me this kind of strange homesickness might be for a distant memory of a planet, galaxy, or star system in the Universe that my soul remembers and yearns to return to.
That was all too much for me to believe, but I’ve never come upon another explanation for the feeling of missing I don’t remember ever being.
It’s a difficult thing to even put into words or explain to someone else. I wrote a poem about this last night, and then I went to sleep. I thought that I might dream an answer. I did not.
A CERTAIN LONGING
I have a certain longing or homesickness.
A yearning for a place to which
I cannot return. It’s unexplainable, untranslateable.
Not for my childhood home or town.
I felt it as a young boy.
A woman once told me that I
am a Starseed – a New Age name
for a person who feels their soul
has origins beyond Earth, beyond this time.
She meant it as high praise, saying
we carry higher consciousness and intuitive abilities,
a larger mission to help humanity evolve.
It seemed far too much for someone
who questions whether souls even really exist,
and finds home in people and relationships.
The Welsh call this certain longing hiraeth.
If anything, I am an old soul
on a long journey to find somewhere
where I truly belong and connect with
a universe that is hidden from me.
Aeon
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