Cabel Sasser

the guy at the bagel shop just said “hey cabel! we were just talking about regulars, and i realized we hadn’t seen you in a long time!”

how would this make you feel?

i think there are only two types of people: “man i love this place” and “great, now i can never come here again”

May 22 at 4:07pmWeb
Show threadCabel SasserMay 22

for the record, big surprise, in this situation i am a "man i love this place" guy.

the responses to this are great and it occurs to me that probably the worst combo is this: if you're quiet and not a small talk person and in your head and just want to be invisible in the bagel shop, but then you realize that they see you.

fortunately that’s… not exactly my situation haha

Show threadJustin MillerMay 22
@cabel Spielman?
Show threadJagoMay 22
@cabel I love being known, except at places I don’t otherwise want to be or be recognized (dispensaries, fast food are examples)
Show threadMartin, Regulus TithoniumMay 22
@cabel I miss being a recognized regular at places.
Show threada new hope May 22
@cabel i'm the latter 😭 somehow it feels mortifying to be known this way!
Show threadBavarian CreampuffMay 22
@cabel I'd think it's sweet.
Show threadVissMay 22
@cabel depends on my relationship with the place
Show threadJoseph RoqueMay 22
@cabel locally owned business? Yes, very cool, I do love supporting my community. But something similar once happened to me at Subway, and I never went back 😭
Show threadRobee? Na! 🌈May 22
@cabel There’s a third type, “omg someone remembers me I’m so grateful!”
Show threadErik VorhesMay 22
@cabel — in the moment, I’d probably think the latter (oh no, I’m known!) but come around to the former (aw, they missed me).
Show threadThom BullockMay 22
@cabel first one all the way. Being a regular somewhere is great.
Show threadJim StormdancerMay 22
@cabel
Show threadSam JohnsonMay 22

@cabel Once I realize I am considered a regular, I consider it my duty to keep it that way!

One time we went out to a place with friends, the server asked our friends if it was their first time, before they could respond the server saw us, said "oh hi!", and left 😭

Show threadChris Mackay 🇨🇦May 22

@cabel This guy grasped defeat from the jaws of victory.

“Hi, Cabel! Great to see you!” makes you feel appreciated.

“…haven’t seen you in a long time” makes you feel guilty and not want to come back ever. (Or possibly weirded-out. Same result.)

Show threadLuigiHannMay 22
@cabel I'm sure my main reaction would be "wait, really?"
Show threadRyanMay 22

@cabel I just realized your name with a few letters rearranged is awfully close to "bagel." That has to mean something, right?

Also, I think I'd be flattered to be remembered, even if it was because of bagel consumption.

Show threadJason Petersen (he)May 22
@cabel I think the latter is kinda antisocial tbh
Show threadBrian J. LinkMay 22
@cabel Years ago, a waitress at a chain restaurant we liked asked us if we were having "the usual" and we never went back.
Show threadHarper, MichaelMay 22
@cabel Feel like being known this way is a prerequisite of any of the fourth place/community stuff we need in our society. So I’m all for it, so long as it’s polite and not invasive.
Show threadDave SheaMay 22

@cabel depends on frequency. I love when familiarity and rapport happens at places that I truly am a regular at.

But when they try and force it after like two visits… nah we just met, I’ll give you some cooldown time to forget me again.

Show threadSamer FarhaMay 22
@cabel “man I love this place”. I’m very lucky to be a “regular” at several bars in DC and Reykjavík, and formerly at a bar or two in London. And I’m a regular at a bagel shop down the street from me (been going there for 25 years!) — this morning, I didn’t even have to order!
Show threadfedward May 22
@samerfarha @cabel when I was in high school I ate at a deli at least once a week, and the guys behind the counter started calling out my likely order as soon as they saw me in line. Which was awkward when there were like six working adults in business clothes ahead of me. Like: yay, but also oh no!
Show threadSamer FarhaMay 22

@fedward @cabel I actually love this, especially at the bagel shop when it’s super busy and I’m still not wide awake. They’ll just gesture for me to go to the register…

The downside: when I want a lox bagel instead of my usual egg bagel!

Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.May 22
@cabel Do they know you at Cinnabon? The answer to this question will answer your other questions.
Show threadPat CastaldoMay 23
@louie @cabel Louie, since you left the Cinnabon at Lloyd closed. We appreciate your support through this difficult time.
Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.May 23
@patc @cabel oh my gosh. I am so, so sorry.
Show threadwhereamiMay 22
@cabel if I’m there enough that they can remember the set of 5 or 6 different things I choose my orders from, my conclusion is that I eat too many of the thing they sell, and that they also realise this and will judge me
Show threaddanteMay 22
@cabel it's fun! Reminder of community. Obviously also a reminder that you are visible outside, which is more of a mixed bag, but community is good
Show threadbazbt3 🦣May 23

@cabel I feel fine about the recognition, the only downside is I'm a creature of habit right up to the point I *realise* and stop.

So:
⁃ pub (cheeseburger & onions, 2 pints of Guinness),
⁃ pizza place ('Mexican Heatwave'),
⁃ 'Indian' place (3 meats kebab in garlic naan with salad and sauce),
⁃ 'Indian' place (doner kebab in garlic naan with salad and mild sauce),
⁃ 20+ years ago, newsagent (paper bill, car talk). :)

Show threadI'm your desk sized companion! 2d ago
@cabel it feels nice to be a frequent face