silly cryptid
Zelda 🎀"Hello, We're Firefox, The Only Browser That Hasn't Hit Itself In The Dick With A Hammer. For years now, folks use us because of our un-hammered dick. Now, you may be wondering why today we've brought this hammer and pulled out our dick. Well I'm glad you asked--"
refraction 
@TheZeldaZone hit it
Ned YeungOn the head.
Rachel@TheZeldaZone Oh they've been hitting their dick with hammers for years it just hasn't been nearly as large of a hammer until recently
Wanja@rachel @TheZeldaZone Next year, we at Mozilla are once again cutting funding for Firefox core development in order to focus on what really matters: Begging Big Tech for a larger hammer to hit our dick with
@muvlon @TheZeldaZone I mean they basically exist and are kept alive to be a exhibit in anti-trust/anti-monopoly court cases
Arvid Requate@rachel now that makes me wonder if someone decided they need to dive into the tulip folly to keep up with the other browsers in the sense that they still are an opensource alternative at what they offer (tulips). Just to keep up the straw man for future legal cases?
su_liam@su_liam @muvlon @TheZeldaZone yeah some ai announcement is what the OP in the thread here was referencing
Phillip HAS MOVED INSTANCES@TheZeldaZone @puppygirlhornypost2 “This little maneuver’s going to cost us any remaining good will in the community”
- Mozilla probably
- Mozilla probably
Lemonheep (Peeps Eater) 
@TheZeldaZone Firefox finding out the hard way why people continued to love them after Chrome's artificial rise 
Kevin Karhan 
@radmin @TheZeldaZone and why people like myself want #Mozilla to habd it over to @torproject ...
Kevin Karhan :verified: (@[email protected])
@[email protected] and now you know why I use @[email protected] / #TorBrowser as my main browser... - [For real...](https://infosec.space/@kkarhan/114388251948556423)
⁂ Fish Id Wardrobe@TheZeldaZone "of course we're not hitting ourself in the dick with a hammer in any way a normal user would think of as hitting ourself in the dick with a hammer."
november 🀄 in my mahjong era@TheZeldaZone "Some jurisdictions define applying percussive force with the head of a hammer to the shaft of the penis as 'hitting oneself in the dick with a hammer'; therefore, for legal reasons, we have to say 'we are hitting ourselves in the dick with a hammer'."
tootbrute@november @TheZeldaZone i'm at my desk and students are wondering why i am laughing.
thank you. i needed this laugh.
brendan@TheZeldaZone “Naw. naw. Naw. Naw. We don’t sell your data *wink* *wink* *wink* *wink*. We sell OUR data.”
Ariadne Conill 🐰
@br_en_d_an @TheZeldaZone "Shoulda read the terms and conditions more carefully, sucker"
unlofl [Promoted Toot]@TheZeldaZone "Why are you all leaving?!? You know you can save this spectacle to Pocket for later, right?!??"
Heartkey@unlofl @TheZeldaZone Absolutely phenomenal that, apart from the OP toot going viral again for other reasons recently, your own toot adds another layer by referencing Pocket.
Unintended masterpiece.
Unintended masterpiece.
Ann AnnasWe at Mozilla think the definition of hitting one's self in the dick with a hammer is vague and misleading. You see, we intend to use the claw end so it technically doesn't count.
Handler Skyler
Jonathan Schofield@TheZeldaZone um, nailed it
vxo@TheZeldaZone thank you so much XD
davidvedvick@TheZeldaZone this post is evergreen!
[Yaseenist] CauseOfBSOD@TheZeldaZone Dear Mozilla:
Thats not how you do bottom surgery
Rachel Greenham@CauseOfBSOD @TheZeldaZone <hands Mozilla the garden shears and a bottle of laudanum…)
Thomas 
@TheZeldaZone LOL I love this
Andrej@TheZeldaZone Firefox is going to dick the hammer.
Reay@TheZeldaZone This is absolutely gold.
@TheZeldaZone and now you know why I use @torproject / #TorBrowser as my main browser...
Kevin Karhan :verified: (@[email protected])
Attached: 1 image @mwdawson lemme guess: @[email protected] / #TorBrowser has *none*… - [As expected](https://sizeof.cat/post/web-browser-telemetry-2025-edition/)… And now you know why it's my default browser!
Oliver Schönrock@TheZeldaZone what have they done now?
ResunaAnnounced it's gonna be an "AI Browser".
OMG...What does that even mean?
They promise you'll be able to turn the "AI" off. At least to start.
I was gonna ask... Well at least that's something, for now.
It's likely going to be leaking data like a sieve, which is the whole point of course.
Whose AI will it be? Google's?
Log 🪵@TheZeldaZone Don't panic. We're only going to use the claw end to lever it into this pasta roller.
deliverator@TheZeldaZone there's another related thread for this 😆
Dan Fixes Coin-Ops (@[email protected])
Content warning: vulgar genital-injury metaphors and bad tech
Gabriel N@deliverator @TheZeldaZone you can put it in the mousetrap and then use the hammer to get it out with the claw.
Not much left after that, though.
Jaime Herazo
Katie Freund@TheZeldaZone this is a masterpiece.
Professor MsPaint@TheZeldaZone
i am here trough Lemmy and still wondering why you brought the hammer and put out your dick....
i am here trough Lemmy and still wondering why you brought the hammer and put out your dick....
Mad Engineering@TheZeldaZone To my dismay, the browser I was planning to switch to in the event of this kind of shenanigans, midori, was acquired.by a commercial group that first thing whipped out the hammer and dropped the pants.
Diego Assustado@madengineering @TheZeldaZone what did they do
Large Format Projectionist@madengineering I hope this helps: in iOS-land (where everything is rebadged safari) the #Kagi browser #Orion is pretty ok.
John@TheZeldaZone
Back to Chrome for me. Firefox refuses to show correctly some php pages. Chrome does. AI is the last straw (but Chrome is equally bad).
Back to Chrome for me. Firefox refuses to show correctly some php pages. Chrome does. AI is the last straw (but Chrome is equally bad).
Bill the Lizard@TheZeldaZone Apparently it's not flat enough, because they keep hammering away.
Also, https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/1powgo1/peeetah_please_help/
Jamie Gaskins@TheZeldaZone "folks use us because of our un-hammered dick" is easily the funniest thing I'm going to read all week
Draco18s@TheZeldaZone Thing is, Firefox is already missing a nut from the last time they hammered their own dick. Exactly what even that was might be debatable, but they've definitely swung the hammer a few times.
For me it was when they discontinued tab groups, back around v51. The irony of this hammer swing was that in v137 they brought them back. Only took 9 fucking years.
Scott Grimmett@TheZeldaZone “Note that our hammer has a connected app, and I urge everyone to install it now before I get started here!”
I was so sorry to hear that. I don't think I can live w/out uBlock and Google has nerfed that on Chrome.
What else is there? (and in particular, any that will run on a Raspberry Pi?)
Erik Menzel
Kasey Strube@TheZeldaZone thkankfully for me LibreWolf blocks the hammer. And even if I found it, it clears the memory of where it’s at when I’m done so my dick is completely unhammered!
bparcons@TheZeldaZone dammit, where's Lorena Bobbitt when you need her...
1a (awawawawawa)@TheZeldaZone hold up. trans allegory?
Daniël Franke 
@TheZeldaZone Evergreen toot
McNeely@TheZeldaZone thank God I'm on mute in this meeting because I just found it and I'm sitting trying to stop laughing
Simon Zerafa (Status: 
😊)The alternative for me is LibreWolf, unless they get the hammer out also 🤔
