Mastodawn

Crazypedia won't Comply Jan 26

@susankayequinn can you copy it over here? i cant read it.

@Crazypedia updated to include link not on FB

Lisa 🦔Jan 26

@susankayequinn Smitten Kitten is such a good shop too

Darwin Woodka Jan 26

"This wasn’t crowd control. This was panic control. This was the federal government throwing tear gas at a punchline because they couldn’t arrest a joke.

While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity."

Darwin Woodka Jan 26

I do think libertarians throwing them at women's basketball players is stupid though.

@darwinwoodka they never have any original ideas, do they?

Carsten Thielecke Jan 26

@susankayequinn
This is a spectacular use of dildos and a very funny story in these dark times.

Laura "Tegan" Gjovaag ⛈ 🐸Jan 26

Nobody flinched. Nobody laughed nervously. Nobody asked, “Are you okay?”

They just nodded like hardened revolutionaries and said, “Okay, how many?”

Susan Calvin Jan 26

@susankayequinn " The air vibrated with that very specific end-of-empire energy where your brain says this is insane but your soul says don’t stop, this is sacred."

And that's before the dildos come in to play

Sablebadger Jan 26

@susankayequinn ICE should appreciate what the people are doing. They are running around with such little dick energy, and these people are trying to help.

We see your little dick problem sir, here is a big dick for you! Enjoy!

LOL

They really do have such fragile egos.

but they chose this path, they joined ICE, they followed the orders (willfully and enthusiastically) and then they escalated to murder so fuck them.

Lily Star Jan 26

@susankayequinn I would like to read this, but Substack is a fucking Nazi bar. So I wont.

EDIT: apparently this response was block worthy.

MissConstrue Jan 26

I stood there, half-blind, lungs on fire, thinking:

We just got tear-gassed over a dildo.

Not a brick. Not a Molotov. Not a weapon.

A rubber dick.

That is how fragile federal masculinity is in 2026.

Hunter S. is smiling down from whatever opium laced reality he finds himself in. This is some top tier gonzo reporting.

Wulfy—Speaker to the machines Jan 27

@MissConstrue @susankayequinn

Part of the hate by zeta males against lesbians was the incomprehensibilty of being replaced by a dildo (even though dildo may not be a part of the repertoire).

This is the same, these zeta males are threatened by a piece of plastic 😁

punIssuer Jan 27

@n_dimension @MissConstrue @susankayequinn well, duh. It's much easier to retrofit a dick than a pleasant personality 🤷

Angus McIntyre Jan 26

@susankayequinn @cstross I misspoke earlier when I said that “George Soros Bought Me a Handwarmer” was the name of my new band.

After careful consideration, the name of my new band is now "Clearance-Bin Dildos”.

@angusm @cstross 🤣

Passenger Jan 26

@angusm @susankayequinn

Clearance-Bin Dildos is the first album by George Soros Bought Me A Handwarmer, surely?

@passenger @angusm @susankayequinn

Cadbury Moose Jan 27

🤣 🏆

I can just imagine John Peel announcing that on Radio 1.

ǝlqɯnɹ uoɯᴉS Jan 27

@angusm @susankayequinn @cstross surely Clearance-bij dildoes at the thrift shop

Eleanor Saitta Jan 27

@angusm
@susankayequinn @cstross honestly both of these songs more like song titles

Dec [{(

)}]Jan 27

@angusm @susankayequinn @cstross
Not to be confused with the German electro-industrial duo:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon_Dildos

Armageddon Dildos - Wikipedia

R.L. LE Jan 26

@susankayequinn
Dildos, not deaths! 🥰

☝️✌️🪈🍆✊

Valerie Aurora 🇺🇦Jan 26

@susankayequinn @brunogirin I'm sad to say that this reads like classic ChatGPT in sentence structure

@vaurora I think you have no idea what chatGPT sounds like... this is definitely not that
@brunogirin

I AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑‍🔥Jan 27

@vaurora It's called prose, and ChatGPT wishes.

@susankayequinn @brunogirin

quadrivial, tall and graying Jan 26

@susankayequinn give them their goddamned Pulitzer right now. Right. The. Hell. Now.

Sam Clemente Jan 26

@susankayequinn
Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I read about tactical dicks
On company time

@countablenewt 🤣

Valerie Roney Jan 26

@susankayequinn this is glorious!

"The air vibrated with that very specific end-of-empire energy where your brain says this is insane but your soul says don’t stop, this is sacred."

😘👌

NosirrahSec 🏴‍☠️ guillotine enthusiast Jan 26

@susankayequinn that was glorious.

I have an idea involving my expensive lightsaber and a dildo. 🤔😈

Till Grallert Jan 26

@susankayequinn What a marvel of a quote!!!!

> The very first rubber dick to touch government-issued leather boots triggered a full-blown chemical weapons response. That is not metaphor. That is not exaggeration. That is a literal sentence that happened in America in 2026.

Ryan Jan 26

@susankayequinn "the dildo(s) of consequences rarely arrives lubed."

Alan Miller

🇺🇦Jan 26

@susankayequinn I'll note that it is possible to get suction cup dildos stuck onto windows, as seen last week in Chicago's northwest suburbs (though not as part of a known protest).

oldguycrusty Jan 26

https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation

...these are the people that give me hope.
Wonderful story.

#ICE #Dildos
#fascist #Nazi
#Resistors
#Minneapolis

THE DILDO DISTRIBUTION DELEGATION

The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics.

CLOSER TO THE EDGE

https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation

SarcastiCat Jan 26

"While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity.

We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
...
You can’t baton your way out of satire. You can’t gas a punchline. And you absolutely cannot maintain authority while tear-gassing people over a rubber dick."

THE DILDO DISTRIBUTION DELEGATION

The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics.

CLOSER TO THE EDGE

Gabriel N Jan 27

@Plumbert @susankayequinn Flow my tears, the policeman said

My camera shoots fascists Jan 26

This is brilliant. And hilarious. And probably a good model for protests against ICE everywhere. The revolution will be rubberized.

Cadbury Moose Jan 27

@Mikal @susankayequinn

It reminds this moose of a "flying dildo" that someone released into an important (political?) meeting. It was radio controlled and stayed just out or reach of anybody trying to swat it. Chaos ensued. 3:O))>

The video is probably still around somewhere. (I can't find it with a quick search.) 3:O(>

Sue is Writing Solarpunk 🌞🌱Jan 27

@Cadbury_Moose hahaha! @Mikal

My camera shoots fascists Jan 27

@susankayequinn @Cadbury_Moose

Also, remember a few years back when the Bundy gang took over the national wildlife refuge in Oregon? They put out videos asking supporters to send them snacks and people sent them bags of dildos instead. Then they were stupid enough to take the bait and film themselves opening up boxes of dildos complaining about it. Which, of course, led to more people sending more dildos.

I think "dildos as a political weapon" has not been explored sufficiently.

No Gods , no Masters! RESIST Jan 27

@Mikal
It's being explored...I saw pictures earlier in Minnesota...

Si Fuller Jan 27

@Mikal @susankayequinn @Cadbury_Moose I dimly recall a video of someone throwing a large wobbly dildo at a politician. Sadly I can't remember any other details, not even the nationality of the politician, but sometimes they're actual weapons too.

BrambleBearSnoring Jan 27

@Mikal @susankayequinn @Cadbury_Moose

Ice dildo carving festival?
Snow dildo making festival?

Cycling Stu Jan 27

@susankayequinn that was wonderful

Jay Thoden van Velzen ☁️🛡️

Jan 27

We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.

pure Situationist brilliance!

Doc AWFL*Jan 27

@susankayequinn found the whole thing here, with photos: https://open.substack.com/pub/closertotheedge/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1dsqn

THE DILDO DISTRIBUTION DELEGATION

The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics.

CLOSER TO THE EDGE

LJ Jan 27

@susankayequinn Oh. My. God. That was incredible.

zl2tod Jan 27

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chQYPYbB3ss

I blame Josie Butler for the advent of the #DildoDistributionDelegation.

And by blame I mean very honourably mention.

The #BioticBakingBrigade is also worthy of an honourable mention.

#ICE

Comedian John Oliver mocks Steven Joyce

YouTube

ChookMother 🇦🇺🦘Jan 27

@susankayequinn Yes, you must. It's hilarious.

garland Jan 27

@susankayequinn lol. Amazing photos.

Susan Vanderplas Jan 27

I AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑‍🔥Jan 27

Non-facebook link: https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

THE DILDO DISTRIBUTION DELEGATION

The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics.

CLOSER TO THE EDGE

💗

@susankayequinn That writing.

"The first dildo flew through the air like a rubber prophecy and skidded to a stop directly at the boots of a state trooper."

Amazing.

lobster Jan 27

That has made my day.

Sometimes Masto-donner kebabs says 'must read'. I did. Kittens with dildos. The plan is diversifying...

Eat This Podcast Jan 27

@susankayequinn @timbray An excellent start to my day. Thank you all.

Talya (she/her) 🏳️‍⚧️✡️Jan 27

@susankayequinn that was an absolutely amazing read. thank you.