GrayDanceOutfitJul 18, 2023
r҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖

This is your reminder that potatoes are an objectively superior currency to Bitcoin or any other crypto

A Potato:
- Shows inherent proof of work
- Hacker proof
- Valid in any country
- Works in any century
- Accessible at any tech level
- Delicious and nutritious
- Is also a battery
- Can be turned to rocket fuel (AKA vodka)

Jul 17, 2023 at 2:12amWeb
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023

Wow, this toot hit a nerve

Y'all are big fans of the tater

Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 20, 2023
This is attracting a whole stream of "weeelll ahcktually..." so I'm muting the thread
Show threadMike [SEC=OFFICIAL]Jul 20, 2023
@cypnk taters gonna tate
Show threadCalebJul 18, 2023
@cypnk people love a good tater toot
Show threadMike [SEC=OFFICIAL]Jul 17, 2023
@cypnk Non Fungible Taters when?
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 17, 2023
@mike Please make this your company name!
Show threadStefanJul 18, 2023
@mike @cypnk
Of course potatoes are also non-fungible, because once anybody eats a potato it can't be used by anybody else anymore.
Show threadHighlandLawyerJul 18, 2023
@stewosch @mike @cypnk This is where I have to go "well, technically"; in law, potatoes are generally fungible in that you can eat the potato but repay the same quantity of other potatoes of same type & quality.
Show threadkatrinaJul 18, 2023
@stewosch @mike @cypnk They are priced as commodities. In your regional potato market, eg New Covent Garden Market in London, you are quoted a price for a particular variety and grade of potato, and you don't care which specific ones you get as long as they meet the specifications.
Show threadLambdaDuckJul 29, 2023
@cypnk @mike every tater is unique, so that makes sense!
Show threadnathanlovestreesJul 17, 2023
@cypnk
- can be boiled
- can be mashed
- can stick em in a stew
Show threadpeteoJul 18, 2023

@nathanlovestrees @cypnk
As lower socioeconomic students, our dinner parties would be just potatoes, with each dish being prepared a different way. Boiled, mashed, roasted, chipped, refried, in their jackets, patties...so many options

On reflection, i don't think people came for the cuisine

Show threadundead enby of the apocalypseJul 18, 2023
@peteo @nathanlovestrees @cypnk this is what it’s like to be vegan at a restaurant I didn’t choose. That and maybe salad. I was at this wedding once where I literally just ate salad and 3 different kinds of potato because there was no other vegan food.
Show threadnathanlovestreesJul 18, 2023
@enby_of_the_apocalypse @cypnk I had a friend who was vegan for moral and ethical reasons but hated vegetables except for potatoes and the occasional carrot
Show threadundead enby of the apocalypseJul 18, 2023
@cypnk @nathanlovestrees I mean I’m also vegan for the animals, and a picky eater… going vegan made me discover how many delicious vegetables and ways to cook them there are, and all those delicious legumes. There’s still a significant amount of vegetables I hate tho. I guess meat eaters picture vegans eating plates of boiled vegetables when there’s so many nice ways to prepare plant based food (which ofc is so much more than vegetables)
Show threadTanatoesJul 17, 2023
@cypnk you forgot self sustaining. The ultimate monetary hack - making new currency from thin air. (And sunlight and water. Earth is, I understand, optional but recommended.)
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 17, 2023
@Tanatoes Correct, and it need not even be a whole potato. Many varieties will sprout with just the root section
Show thread[email protected] has movedJul 18, 2023
@cypnk @Tanatoes Does this make it inflationary though? 🤷‍♂️
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023
@danielstucke @Tanatoes It's actually static if matched to demand. See the demand for the currency is only relevant to what it can do. Are you short on rocket fuel? Plant more potatoes. Too many batteries? Plant fewer
Show threadBryce ChidesterJul 17, 2023
@cypnk How do you figure they're "hacker proof?"
I frequently hack potatoes, usually with a chef knife but any sufficiently thin and sturdy object will suffice. Then I just boil and mash 'em and enjoy with butter and sour cream.
Bright side - you know exactly how much to charge for mashed potatoes.
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 17, 2023
@brycec Should have added "remote" hacker proof. If you have physical access, all precautions are moot, whether potato or device (potato device?)
Show threadBryce ChidesterJul 17, 2023
@cypnk An excellent and salient point, and not unlike computer security, cash money and gold fiat. ​
Show threademily dogmomJul 18, 2023
@cypnk @brycec potato rootkit
Show threadkayAug 9, 2023
@cypnk @brycec tell that to the blight
Show threadAlexander The 1stJul 18, 2023

@brycec @cypnk On the other hand, if you hack apart potatoes and then don't boil and mash 'em...they grow back.

They're the ultimate decentralized currency.

Show thread🍄🌈🎮💻🚲🥓🎃💀🏴🛻🇺🇸Jul 17, 2023
@cypnk phytophthora infestans: laughs
Show threadAlexisDyslexicJul 18, 2023
@cypnk also triples in value in a 100 days if you put it in dirt. That a huge ROI.
Show threadMichael GemarJul 18, 2023
@cypnk @loren - Doesn’t require chips, but instead can provide them.
Show threadJoyographicJul 18, 2023
@cypnk Can be used to survive if stranded on Mars
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023
@joyographic Ah, yes, I saw that documentary featuring Matt Damon
Show threadnellie-mJul 18, 2023

@cypnk @harshad

-each one is unique
-comes in several cool colours and shapes
-unsurpassed interest: plant 1, harvest 20!!!

Show threadStereoIncognitoJul 18, 2023
@cypnk All hail the Lord High Po Ta Toe for they did fry for your sins.
Show threadmattJul 18, 2023
@cypnk ...and there are ~4000 varieties, according to http://www.raisingmiro.com/2012/04/23/4000-types-of-potatoes-in-peru/
4000 Types Of Potatoes In Peru - Raising Miro on the Road of Life

Raising Miro on the Road of Life
Show threadpenguin42Jul 18, 2023
@maphew @cypnk Got to mash them all!
Show threadPhilip SetnikJul 18, 2023

@maphew @cypnk

Wow, it's a picture of Tuberville! And significantly smarter than the other Tuberville!

Show threadStygian LizardJul 19, 2023
@psetnik @maphew @cypnk As an Alabamian, I would definitely prefer an actual spud in office over Tubs.
Show threadGlitchJul 19, 2023
@maphew @cypnk I want to try so many of these…
Show threadSatori 🌷 Jul 20, 2023
@maphew @cypnk @MizzBassie Oh, wow! 😍
Show threadMizzBassieJul 20, 2023
@Satori @maphew @cypnk
Cool, right! So many potatoes!
Show threadBenny Powers 🇨🇦️🇮🇱️Jul 18, 2023
@cypnk Depending on your starting conditions you may need to unlock age of exploration first, but it's worth it to permanently end the famine cycle and usher in centuries of global conquest
Show threadUrsidinoj/The BjornsdottirsJul 18, 2023
@cypnk And you can make even more power by using the rocket fuel through a spark ignition engine.
Show threadcyploJul 18, 2023
@cypnk yo I'm with you, but also just here to say most centuries didn't have taters, on most continents
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023
@cyplo They didn't know what they were missing (I've yet to see any civilization give up on an excellent source of carbs)
Show threadLuna LacteaJul 18, 2023
@cyplo @cypnk They did all cultivate other tubers though!
Show threadDerick RethansJul 18, 2023

@cypnk However, you can't often bring them across borders. Norway really doesn't like it for example.

But still, they also power stepper boxes to travel to parallel earths!: https://thelongearth.fandom.com/wiki/Stepper_Boxes

Stepper Boxes

A Stepper Box is a device that can be used to step from one planet to the next in a chain of parallel worlds, such as the Long Earth. Inexpensive and easy-to-build, it is made of a couple of wires, basic electronic components (easily found at any Radio Shack), a switch and a natural power supply (a potato for example). The Stepper Box (or just ‘stepper') has a three way switch on top of it, one position marked ‘West', one 'off' and one 'East'. 'West' and 'East' are the names given to the two dir

The long Earth Wiki
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023
@derickr There are many barriers to cross trade (hence ISPs blocking certain crypto traffic). Alas, like all the dark web, there will be a dark potato market as well
Show threadStygian LizardJul 19, 2023
@cypnk @derickr I do enjoy the purple variety on occasion.
Show threadLev PetrovitchJul 18, 2023

@derickr

Oh, the reference… ❤️
@cypnk

Show threadiweinJul 18, 2023

@cypnk noice! can we digitize potatos?

Oh wait https://www.coingecko.com/en/coins/potato

Show threadKevin Karhan Jul 18, 2023

@cypnk Not really, as it's not as fungible as #Monero, but also perishable and has a poor density when it comes to value per weight / volume.

But then again the same applies for #Euro banknotes which are so powerful, #FUD'sters are the reason the €500 banknkte is being pulled fron circulation.

Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023
@kkarhan Unlike all of those though, you don't need electricity or a network connection to "mine" potatoes. And it's a truly distributed currency in that I can provide an independent source for my purposes as well as you can
Show threadKevin Karhan Jul 18, 2023

@cypnk case in point, comparing a #Potato with actually fungible #currency is a bit unfair for both given the unique properties of each.

Money was invented as a fungible means to exchange values beyond 1:1 exchanges of items.

#Monero was invented as a digital alternative to #Cash and better alternative to #PayPal.

And yeah, #Potatos are for the most part good amd healthy sources of #Starch & #Carbohydrates, thus very useful as a means to feed people directly.

Show threadMarcinW 🖥️🚀Jul 18, 2023
@cypnk And just like bitcoin it can be mined (if planted).
Show threadrijnJul 18, 2023
@cypnk doesn't have controlled scarcity though. Amount in circulation can be dramatically increased or decreased on quite a short time frame.
Show threadr҉ustic cy͠be̸rpu̵nk🤠🤖Jul 18, 2023
@rijnhard That's the best part. It's truly distributed currency so value is down to processing and side services
Show threadrijnJul 18, 2023
@cypnk mmmm not really, it's totally producer controlled. Aka instant inflation.
Show threadwhatnickJul 18, 2023
@cypnk Durability is questionable, I would rather go with canned stuff.
Show threadMartin Jul 18, 2023
@cypnk @wyri but they old ones will rot, and will lose their value. Old Bitcoin will have the same value as just mined ones. 😬
Show threadMagbhituJul 18, 2023
@cypnk lol - maybe hacker proof but not virus proof as a million dead Irish in the 19th century can testify. still better than bitcoin