Nicole šŸ‰

I just realized why I hate #remoteworking when everyone around me seems to love it: it fucks with my #AuDHD #masking.

I didn't realize until I was forced to WFH in 2020 just how much I rely on #bodydoubling to function: everything from assessing how hard I'm supposed to be working based on the people around me, to remembering to each lunch. I'm much better at conversation IRL - being on the phone constantly with people whose lips I can't see messes with my #auditoryprocessing, which makes me more socially anxious, which makes it harder to focus and retain information. It threw off the daily routine I was precariously managing. I can't just copy the emotional reactions of everyone around me = I don't know what the "appropriate" emotional reactions are for situations = I just default to constant anxiety.

I feel bad because so many #neurodivergent folks really prefer #WFH but I selfishly want y'all to come back to the office so I can unfuck my life šŸ˜© Am I alone here, @actuallyautistic ?

#autistic #actuallyautistic #ADHD #actuallyadhd #autisticmasking #ADHDAutism #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #80hd #burnout #autisticburnout

May 4, 2023 at 11:29pmWeb
Show threadThe Laughing Muse May 4, 2023

@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic Don't know if you're alone, but both my brother and I - both autistic, him diagnosed as a child but me not until I was over 40 - both do much, much better with remote work. I suspect that it has to do with how your autism manifests, that you do better with in-person work.

I hope you can find ways to function that let you still relax and feel good about functioning. But I am not going back to an office environment more than one week a year.

Show threadJeffMay 4, 2023

@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic

I don't think there's any one neurodivergent experience. That's one of the reasons it can be so hard for us to realize we are ND. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

Show threadKevin DavyMay 4, 2023
@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic
I would help but I wasn't allowed to WFH. Apparently speaking to someone on the phone and making engine and tyre squealing noises didn't cut it as a taxi driver, despite all my passionate arguments. But I did love the lockdowns when I wasn't working.
Show threadLemLemsMay 5, 2023

@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic @Pathfinder

I massively preferred WFH but the downsides you mention are something I experience too. Iā€™m almost entirely incapable of functioning in phone calls.

Show threadJonathanMay 5, 2023
@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic humans evolved to survive in groups communicating constantly in sight of one another. Society is broken.
Show threadCyber YukiMay 5, 2023

@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic I prefer office work because I don't have to attend so many meetings.

With the webcam I not only have to make eye contact, I also can't fidget, scratch any itches, stay rigid, smile...

I hate it like you have no idea.

But I have no choice, I have to work remotely for family reasons.

Show threadUnixorn - 90% Snark by weightMay 6, 2023

@yuki2501 @orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic

People are so different - I find it exactly the opposite.

I like that I can do a video call with my standing desk in the up position, I can fidget with things in my hands, and no one on the call can see any of that because all they get to see is my head and shoulders on the camera. When my camera is off for a webinar or someone else is presenting, I can even pace.

EDIT - Didn't mean to sound like you're wrong, just that I see it differently

Show threadNicole šŸ‰May 6, 2023
@unixorn @yuki2501 @actuallyautistic It probably depends on the job! I would probably be more relaxed in a job where I could just turn my camera off and fidget - too often in my job I'm talking/presenting while either taking notes and/or multitasking because there's not enough time in the day to be in all the meetings and also do all the in-person tasks šŸ˜©
Show threadDSri Seah (they/them)May 6, 2023
@orangegoldgreen This is also me! Conversations are ESSENTIAL and also EXHAUSTING. My working theory regarding my own #AuDHD:
1. I'm not having 1-1 conversations constantly to keep engaged (exec function)
2. The conversations that do happen are neurotypical communication, which requires interpretation+masking to speak "social affirmation" instead of "this is super cool let's data dump RAWR"
3. Conversation IS mentally draining because I am high-intensity listening and processing regardless.
Show threadStrangely ProgressiveMay 8, 2023

@orangegoldgreen @actuallyautistic I may be the job nit WFH.

I used to have huge work phone problems, and I'd break out in a cold sweat when the phone rang.

Not sure when I got over it, but I did. I worked for years in tech support and that helped.

Now I like phone for comms BECAUSE there is no non verbal communication.

I still need to chill after long conversations, but I actually do consultative sales, training and mentoring of customers all on the phone now.

I control the narrative and I know what the call is about and how it will go ahead of time.

If I get a call out of the blue I let it go to answer phone so I can still do this for incoming calls.

I run my own Web design business so people I talk to are often quite senior roles, CEO, managers, business owners.