my good son now
irreparable damage to the english language (original posts from 2017)
ask the dwarves of moria about that
one car pile up
petplay
it's equality
prince charming
swarov.se
take worse shits
bucephalus
5-o'clock foreshadowing
you can't serve cunt and the government at the same time
piss
literary expert
tumblr pvp
we're canadian
transformers
ceci n'est pas un cul
palpatine's big unnaturals
les mis au
why was he born so beautiful
electrolytes
boiling water: a shakespearean interlude
an epilogue to the above
japanese radish
himbo theory
cloth mother and wire mother
pokemon npc dialogue
yearning
yeet and yoink
why you hatin
my brain is seized by shitposts
worlds tallest vampire
things to do in london
this fucking paper
post-email aftercare
kOSHA
the matrix
a fun new way of responding to anon hate
a new tumblr user accidentally invents catholicism
this is no longer a robbery
paul simon mpreg: the context
porn i can't watch (too long to fully alt-text, enjoy the fulltext here: https://at.tumblr.com/foone/fun-fact-i-own-porn-i-cant-watch/jxbbc6iycryp )
phone sex over walkie talkies
woman-made horrors beyond my comprehension
honey nut cheerio
store bought is fine
bat
sometimes i feel
twas i that set the house ablaze
you're so strong
a little f slur
gender is a performance
orpheus
skeleton parts, identified
thank you
succubating
evaporated milk
scarborough fair
@stavvers
See also 'this is just to say', except the question & personal information are just implied. ('what are you gonna do about it?' & 'ok now I'm off to sleep with your sister, make sure dinner's ready when I get home.')
@stavvers Very much not the image that comes to mind when I hear that word.
@stavvers man, if I could succubate, I'd never leave the house
@stavvers
If that cat is succubating, what he's lying on is too. (No judgement)
I miss succubating my cat, before she joined the Great Feline Tuna Collective In The Sky™. :(
@stavvers TIL that to be a succubus you need to be a bottom
@stavvers it's pointing to a white space tho
@stavvers @sutdan Parts of this were humerus.
@SunnJax @stavvers took me a while but I got there!🤣😂😉
@stavvers That made me giggle. Thanks!
Orfeo ed Euridice, Wq. 30: "What Is Life to Me Without Thee?"

YouTube

@stavvers

Roses are red
Gender's a performance

At least gay Statler and Waldorf
Aren't hetero-conformist

@stavvers "You had it coming, Martha! I regret nothing!!"
@stavvers love your arsonist cats <3
@stavvers not OK… I have a severe bronchial infection and this toot nearly killed me.
@stavvers Started to read and went "who the hell even has that?", looked at the tumblr and "of course. foone"
@stavvers This is absolutely fascinating!
@stavvers that Vimeo about the restored NBA game is great
@stavvers Paul Simon has revoked your right to call him Al
@stavvers oh my god I clicked this thinking that mpreg must be a video codec I hadn’t heard of. By the Power of Inference I have worked out that it is Something Else Entirely 😵
@stavvers sad that it was Lily Tomlin, and not Julio down by the schoolyard
@stavvers This whole thing is hilarious. 😂

@stavvers

Now I want a "this is no longer a robbery" shirt, but that would only end in tears because the world is not ready for it.

@stavvers @alienghic
This reminds me of the story my father tells about escaping a mugging because he was exhausted after a residency shift. The guy demanded money, but my fayher didn’t process it, so he said “I’m sorry I don’t speak Spanish,” and kept walking. Halfway down the block he processed what the guy had said and started running.
@stavvers I’m partly deaf so I can just see someone telling me “this is a robbery!” and me not hearing it so I just smile and nod until they leave.
For all I know it’s happened, how could I tell.