big supernaturals
secret werewolves
get pickled
afad
opening up a boy with the cold ones
cost of living tips
anarcho-anarchism
fucking grumpy
positive post
screenshot
french
people on here
tom and jerry
mystery algae (if anyone knows what this is, it remains unidentified, and you can make OP very happy by solving this!)
penalty box
it is the 10th anniversary of this iconic post
too drunk for words
525,000 moments so dear
the kosher status of furbies
the oompa loompas are a greek chorus
billy postman
embrace self actualisation
dwarf standards
voice recognition theology
the saddest thing i ever heard get said
what day is it
kin with a pope
your bread is missing its bread
the bitch
mr arson
hannibal
crabs x piss bot
by talos this can't be happening
do i qualify
rehabilitation
stop reblogging
jible
yahoo answers
wimdy
my good son now
irreparable damage to the english language (original posts from 2017)
ask the dwarves of moria about that
one car pile up
petplay
it's equality
prince charming
swarov.se
take worse shits
bucephalus
5-o'clock foreshadowing
you can't serve cunt and the government at the same time
piss
literary expert
tumblr pvp
we're canadian
transformers
ceci n'est pas un cul
palpatine's big unnaturals
les mis au
why was he born so beautiful
@stavvers This is true. I always thought it was odd.
@stavvers
interesting! we sing something similar, but the second half is "they're no bloody use to anyone, they're no bloody use at all!"

@stavvers I know this as a Hash House Harriers' song.

"Why was he born so beautiful why was he born at all. He's no fucking use to anyone to anyone at all..."

@stavvers
@researchfairy

Even weirder that it's sung to the tune of the national anthem.

@stavvers is this like the alternate lyrics to Happy Birthday to you?

Happy Birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You look like a monkey
and you act like one, too.

@stavvers
My Mexican first MIL often said that god didn't do us any flavours by putting us here. Kind of similar sentiment throughout the Americas except Canada and US.

Also many countries don't note every or any birthday, thinking it's egotistical or otherwise bad

@stavvers Yeah, we in North America don't do this. Instead we put babies and their cradles at the tops of trees during wind storms, and wait for the inevitable to happen. And then we sing it as a warning to other children as they try to fall asleep.

@stavvers Also, in some parts of northern Mexico, folks have been known to make fun of the American birthday song by singing the sound-alike phrase:

"Apio verde eres tú"

which means "you are green celery."

@stavvers I try to explain to Americans that Australians have a different culture from them, and even our language is different. American guy recently thought I was having him on (I was trying to explain a minor misunderstanding) "Nice try" said he. " We speak the same language and use the same dictionary". When I drew his attention to the Macquarie Dictionary of Australian English, he blocked me! 🤪
@stavvers I have genuinely never encountered such a striking difference between the cultures of NZ and AU
@stavvers Hmm… thatks a different second half to "why was he born so beautiful?" than the one I learned: "he's no fucking use to anyone, he's no fucking use at all"
@stavvers
*Pokes Palpatine's pair with a pin, so as to watch him fly randomly about the throne room*
@stavvers I gotta get the invite to that wiki
@stavvers And the kicker is that you can go right through school in Canada (in Ontario at least) without the Halifax Explosion ever being in the curriculum.

@stavvers

My employer had 3 visitors from Finland for 2 weeks of training when it happened. I took them fishing for the weekend Sep/8-9... so they'd have something to DO & not just be bored.

Then their flight back was delayed due to... stuff.

I drove them to MSP when they could finally go.

I have this weird, indelible bond with 3 guys in Finland I've never seen again.

@stavvers I was 19 and watched it happen out my bedroom window in my first apartment. A friend lost his girlfriend. Another friend staggered out of the PATH station, covered in that dust, with bleeding people all around him. My best friend was out of communication for hours. My roommate’s sister called sobbing wanting to know where she was and I had to assure her her job wasn’t near there.
I’ve said all this to preface my saying,
This is freaking hilarious 🤣 👏🏼

We’re Canadian. 🤣🤣

@stavvers Jegus. That's USian levels of fucked up.

@stavvers that teacher would hate me. I freely admit I slept through it.

I was on the west coast and classes hadn’t started yet. I’d been up late playing Diablo 2 online with my friends.

@stavvers ... we had something similar around the Vietnam war in our curriculum. In 1990. I think in the end one of the more forceful personalities in the class actually stood up and said "actually, this is your trauma, not ours, and we're a bit tired of be forced to work through it with you"
@stavvers In middle school one of my english teachers did the thing of making everyone invent a 9/11sona and it was so uncomfortable I asked if I could not do it because I didn't know how to possibly write a story of someone dying in 9/11 but she was adamant.
@stavvers the cropping on this is 💯

@stavvers

They all now have a Dirty Sanchez. 😜

@stavvers It's amazing how many people don't understand nothing sharpens your skills for snark like retail. Also don't ask questions you don't want answered.

@stavvers

See, I’d have guessed that was Hank Williams Jr’s horse

@stavvers Honestly if a woman I met knew that, I would probably ask them to marry me rather than getting stroppy about it.
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Buy Swarovski Tarot Magic Bracelet, Multi-colored, Gold-tone plated | 5490914

@rohan_p @stavvers Goodness me. That’s excellent.
@stavvers Yes but a hamster wheel pf that size in? In this economy?
@stavvers does a chastity cage count as pet play?
@stavvers Meanwhile, back on Mons Veneris...
@stavvers
🎵Balrogs in your cooter
🎵Told a tale on you🎵

@stavvers How is this even legal?

I blame video games and millennials.