Starlight
AnilI’m still struggling to unlearn the habits I’ve built up over 20+ years of being on social media. There’s that weird mix of performativity and anticipatory defensiveness that both serve to color and mute my voice and diminish my thoughts here. I’d like to revisit that. What are the things I’ve forgotten how to say on the internet?
Jon Helmkamp@anildash probably “I was wrong.” Social media has conditioned a lack of accountability, while rewarding the loudest voices. Humility is a concept we all need to revisit.
Dave Mazella@anildash earnest, unironic, non-defensive listening?
🐚 Undo Influence 🐚
Tim Thulson@anildash fwiw something I think you've been a consistently good model of--but that seems even easier here on Mastodon--is an unironic "yeah that's cool!"
MrAmaimon@timthulson that’s one of the reasons I always put “big fan of being a big fan of things” in my bio; earnest enthusiasm (and its close cousin, sincere celebration of good things) is a powerful practice, and can be a superpower in fighting for what’s right. And people are often uncomfortable or reluctant to embrace that practice.
dorianlistens@anildash @timthulson this has long been one of my favorite things about your online presence. Thanks for sharing your joy so generously!
Dissident Aggressor@DissidentAggressor @timthulson oh absolutely
Excellent. Easily the best live act I`ve ever seen.
Maureen@anildash @timthulson it’s reminding me of the task I was given as a depressed and lonely new NYC resident that I assign to new New Yorkers:
Find something beautiful and weird or an odd juxtaposition every day. If you’re having an extra hard time, do it twice a day. If you have a camera, shoot it, or just collect it in your head.
If the basic guardrails to force people to be respectful of and treat other people like human being are there, this could be a place for those special little things.
I’m curious about new things.
Spongefile@anildash @timthulson Feels like such an utter waste to approach things with a “bet this sucks” attitude. Comes from insecurity, needing a crutch of criticism to feel superior or clever. But you miss out on so much.
@anildash @timthulson Once I was enthusing about us maybe finding life under the ice of Europa, and this lady said “once as a teen I lay on a field and looked at the stars an wondered about them—but you know, I’m an adult now, hahaha” and it was just the saddest thing ever.
Pratik Patel@anildash The question I've been asking is how the forced character limit changed my behavior about what I could and couldn't include in my posts.
Jason Shellen@anildash I’ve been thinking about how my default on Birdsite is snarky, reactive and annoyed. I’m thinking about the same things here. Maybe I’ll drop the defensive posture, listen, and enjoy people again?
Marc Hedlund
Kyle R. Conway@anildash I don't know if this helps at all, but your episode on the eff podcast was lovely! Since I listened to it it's always been first to come to mind whenever anyone idly speaks ill of the internet. There's real magic here!
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/05/podcast-episode-wordle-and-web-we-need
Podcast Episode: Wordle and the Web We Need
Where is the internet we were promised? It feels like we’re dominated by megalithic, siloed platforms where users have little or no say over how their data is used and little recourse if they disagree, where direct interaction with users is seen as a bug to be fixed, and where art and creativity...
benbrown (old account)@anildash bring back the mango talk. All mangos, all the time.
Sarah Drasner@anildash this exactly! You’re articulating something I’ve felt all week
KC Lemson@sarah_edo @anildash I keep thinking back to the era when my online presence and identity was about having conversations in (mostly) topical forums/newsgroups.
The experience wasn’t focused on “all of <person>‘s posts in one place”, it was the collective of all comments added on a given thread.
Also I may have kicked off topics/threads, but that’s it, it was just the start - the real value of the experience was in the entity of the entire thread, with comments from many people.
Mary Branscombe@Kclemson @sarah_edo @anildash I never get tired of quoting Marc Smith ex MSR about social ecosystems with reply magnets and vandal hunters
Lisa PS
Bracken M@anildash I haven't seen you talk about Mario Kart in a long time.
christina b@anildash
hearing this is so encouraging, thanks for saying it.
hearing this is so encouraging, thanks for saying it.
Zinzy Waleson Geene@anildash I love that you shared this! Looking forward to seeing the full you on here.
Raphael LullisDo you talk about "performativity and anticipatory defensiveness that both serve to color and mute your voice" on a conversation with close friends?
If no, why not start by dropping that?
Addy Osmani@anildash This. I think birdsite could have used more humility, accountability and less reacitivty. That said, your online presence from what I’ve observed seems to have tried balancing these well.
Arindam BasuNeed to relearn. And you are not alone Anil. It’s a medium where your voice depends on others as well.
Jeb@anildash
What is the forgotten thing? I think maybe it's how to say "I see you" and "I care about you" - without being weird about it ;)
What is the forgotten thing? I think maybe it's how to say "I see you" and "I care about you" - without being weird about it ;)
Jackie Gardina@anildash What a wonderful question! What I have enjoyed about Mastadon so far is that no algorithm amplifies your voice. It allows you to engage in authentic conversation with people who want to engage in the same topic. My advice. Be authentic. Engage with those who are doing the same. I look forward to your posts.
jimray@anildash something I have to constantly fight against is tweet-sized thinking. Some thoughts need more space!
overthinkingThis@anildash say things that neither divide nor unite
Michael Smith@anildash Great observation - I hadn't thought of it as "performativity and anticipatory defensiveness" but I think that's a great description of what we have all been doing.
Doug Bowman@anildash “anticipatory defensiveness” is such a good way to put it. Though I think I felt that even back in the day of writing blog posts with comments left open. It often held me back from making stronger statements that I knew might be attacked or torn down.
@stopdesign yeah, and even for me (because admittedly I am at one end of the continuum in my appetite for combatativeness), the tedium of having to enumerate all the caveats and disclaimers before making a point also sucks a lot of joy out of it
mathew@anildash perhaps also ask: what have we forgotten to not say? Have we forgotten to refrain from snark, from sarcasm and from assuming the worst of others and responding accordingly?
Greg Pak@anildash Working on that and the flip side of that over here - what are the things I don't need to say?
Couscous@anildash
form what i've seen, as an old french user (but not so much), it feels like you (an others) have to get rid of an awuful idea twitter tells everyone : you are not THIS important..
and it's cool 😁
alembic@anildash I feel some of this too. Having started with my own blog "software" (a weird Access database and HTML combo), back some 20 years ago and writing freely on it, I now seem to be in a kind of constant low-level censoring mode on every social media platform that has made the technical side of publishing one's thoughts instantaneous.
Ernie Smith@anildash I absolutely get this. I am trying to get out of my routine of publicly sharing my spam mails with everyone and complaining about them.
Seriously though this is a good spot for a reset
Dwight Silverman
MARGARET D@dsilverman @ernie @anildash same for me. I’m really enjoying reading, running into new interesting people to follow, and not worrying about establishing a presence.
Marissa Cummings 吳至佳@anildash I've been having this exact same thought today. On Twitter, everything is about hustle, boosting your "brand", and beating the algorithm. Here there's none of that. Just pure thoughts floating out into the ether.
Chris Boese@anildash I love this feeling! Reminds me of when all the stupid money fled the Internet in 2001 and blogs were born back in the land of first principles
@ChrisBoese I was just re-reading this. https://megnut.com/2000/04/14/ive-been-thinking-a-lot/
@anildash oh, how we remember those days. Thank you for this! (First home page, January 1994, dissertation http://www.nutball.com/dissertation 1998, first blog, Radio UserLand, 2000)
Susan A. Kitchens@ChrisBoese @anildash
Okay I just replied to this original one talking of blogging, too. Is it time to use a hasttag for #blogging or #oldschoolblogging?
Okay I just replied to this original one talking of blogging, too. Is it time to use a hasttag for #blogging or #oldschoolblogging?
John Samuel@susankitchens @ChrisBoese @anildash Despite being on the birdsite and other social media sites, I still maintain a blog. Old habits don't die.
Liz Lawley@anildash @ChrisBoese yes, yes, 1000x yes. Right now, for the first time in a VERY long time, I’m feeling excited about a new social technology. And Meg’s distinction between populations maps perfectly onto the centralized vs federated social model.
MathiasTCK@mamamusings @anildash @ChrisBoese I have been trying to find a theme of people I have seen come to Mastodon from Twitter, and I'd say it's early adopters.
jakob.pxi@mathiastck @mamamusings @anildash @ChrisBoese the nostalgia of new beginnings, the disillusioned blogosphere rekindling their passion: I think that a sizable part of Twitter migrants is older millennials feeling they get a second chance.
a chance to leave behind the cynicism that hardened the terminally online when they were being pragmatic moving to commercial platforms.
a new chance at equity to build a meaningful connection
@mathiastck @anildash @jakob @ChrisBoese “the disillusioned blogosphere rekindling their passion” is exactly right. I feel about this the way I felt when I first understood that blogs were different from other websites because of the way they interconnected.
Void Sciences@anildash I have to see, I feel far more inclined to engage here than on twitter. Twitter often feels like if you can only engage with someone under very specific rules that are often unique to them
Morgan@anildash Time to dust off my copy of Cluetrain Manifesto again.
@MHJohnston wellll
@anildash Hi, I'm a big fan of this conversation taking place right now. I'm thinking along similar lines (ha. enamored of a python script someone on mastadon here mentioned as a way to parse and further export tweet archives. I'm thinking of reviewing em, and tweeting them as back-dated blog posts.
Wondering if it's possible to go back to old old school style blogging again.
Laura@anildash Unformed thoughts. Feels that if I’m not ready to die on that hill I better not post it. There form I can’t gather more information unless I read other people attacking each other viciously.
Ari Stiles@anildash this reads like “how can we be human again?” 🤔 I hope we figure it out. It would be great to be that comfortable online.
@anildash I love this thought and the responses. I’m feeling that way, too. We can make something new and better.