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The Guardian

Thought for this morning about the "Defence Expo" in Melbourne - a supermarket of death machines.

There should be mandatory unit pricing on weapons, just like there is for coffee.

Instead of 'cents per 100 grams', we'd need 'dollars per death' or 'deaths per 1000 dollars' or somesuch. Not sure whether the fraction should go one way up or the other. I suppose if virological weapons are on sale, it have to be megadeaths per dollar. Maybe we need a log scale? log(deaths) / dollar? In a mandatory readable font right there on the price tag.

I imagine the sellers of anti-drone weapons might cry foul, because robot deaths still don't count. For them maybe we could introduce some kind of 'nutrition 5-star' labeling system? One star for basic destruction, 5 stars for the full-fibre explode-a-rama with added grainy video confirmation.

#stupid #mmmmmCoffee
#halfPriceDeathSaleNowOn
#weaponsExpo
#melbourne
#CanIBuyANukePleaseTony