Why Finding a Partner with a Plan is the New Flex

Hey y’all, it’s Tina.

Pull up a chair, grab your coffee (or something stronger, I don’t judge), and let’s have a real heart-to-heart. I was scrolling through my feed the other day and saw a post that hit me right in the spirit. It said: “Get you a woman who really understands life for real… because a lot of these females be lil girls in grown-woman positions.”

I had to put my phone down and take a deep breath because—whew—the accuracy was loud!

We live in a world of “cute pics and a good front for Facebook.” Everyone is a model, everyone is a traveler, and everyone is “blessed and highly favored” in 4K resolution. But let me tell you, you can’t pay the light bill with Instagram likes.

I’ve met so many people lately who have the aesthetic down to a science. The hair is laid, the outfit is trending, and the “main character energy” is through the roof. But the second life gets “for real”—the second a tire blows out, a bill comes due, or a goal requires more than a 15-second reel of effort—they crumble.

That’s what I call a Pretty Bum.

A “Pretty Bum” is someone who looks like a million bucks but doesn’t have two cents’ worth of resilience. They want the “grown-woman” lifestyle, but they have the “little girl” mindset. They want the crown, but they can’t handle the weight of the responsibilities that come with it.

When I talk about a woman (or anyone, really) who understands life, I’m talking about someone who knows what priorities look like.

• Rent/Mortgage? Handled.

• Bills? Scheduled.

• Responsibility? Owned.

There’s nothing sexier than someone who says “I got this” and actually has it. No excuses. No “I forgot.” No “Can you just handle it for me this once?” for the fifth time this month. A real woman knows that life isn’t always a beach vacation in Tulum. Sometimes life is a Tuesday night, staring at a spreadsheet, trying to figure out how to scale a business or save for a rainy day.

The post mentioned something that really stuck with me: Finding someone who can THINK, PLAN, and EXECUTE with you is rare.

Listen, I love a good date night as much as the next person. I love the flowers, the dinners, and the “you look pretty” comments. But you know what really gets my heart racing? A partner who can sit down at the kitchen table and help me strategize.

• Think: “Hey Tina, I was looking at our goals for the year…”

• Plan: “Here is how we can adjust the budget to make that house down payment happen…”

• Execute: “I’ve already researched the interest rates and set up the meeting.”

That is the “Real Drive” I’m talking about. It’s about having a vision and knowing how to move toward the goal, even when the wind is blowing against you.

If you find a woman who has her own hustle, her own mind, and a mindset that doesn’t rely on shortcuts—keep her close. Because let’s be honest: pretty is easy. You can buy pretty. You can filter pretty. You can contour pretty. But you cannot buy “drive.” You cannot filter “reliability.” You cannot contour a “real mindset.”

I’ve realized that I’d rather be with someone who can help me build an empire than someone who just wants to take pictures in front of one. Life is a team sport, and I’m looking for a Co-Captain, not a cheerleader who leaves when the game gets tough.

To my ladies reading this: Don’t just be a “grown-woman” in title. Be one in action. Build your own bag, sharpen your own mind, and be the kind of person who can “Think, Plan, and Execute” without needing a handout.

And to everyone else: Look past the “front” on social media. Look for the hustle. Look for the heart. Because at the end of the day, a “Pretty Bum” is just a liability with a nice filter.

Stay real, stay driven, and for the love of everything, stay focused on the vision. 💯

What do you think? Have you encountered a “Pretty Bum” lately, or are you out here building your empire? Let me know in the comments!

Trigger Awareness

#feelings #emotions #emotionalawareness #selfawareness #warningsigns #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #stress #anxiety #trauma #ymhc

Social Emotional Skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.

#mentalhealtheducation #selfawareness #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealth #mentalwellness #studentwellbeing #socialemotionallearning #skills #ymhc

Fighting Ghosts and One-Sided Beef

Hey y’all, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab your beverage of choice (I’ve got my “don’t stress me” tea ready), and let’s have a real-life heart-to-heart.

I saw a quote today that hit me so hard I almost dropped my phone. It basically said that grown people don’t “beef” the way they used to. It pointed out that half the time, people are out here posting subliminal messages, taking shots, and acting out a whole Shakespearean drama… meanwhile, the person they’re mad at has already unfollowed, blocked, or—even worse—just straight up forgot they existed.

And honestly? I felt that in my soul.

We’ve all seen it. Maybe we’ve even been the one doing it (no judgment, we’re growing!). You’re hurt, you’re annoyed, so you post that one specific song lyric on your story. Or you share a cryptic quote about “fake friends” or “loyalty.” You’re sitting there, refreshing your viewers list, waiting for that name to pop up so you know they saw it.

But here is the cold, hard, hilarious truth: They aren’t watching. They aren’t checking for you. They aren’t decoding your captions like they’re National Treasure. While you’re in your room crafting the perfect “I’m doing better without you” post, they are probably at a grocery store trying to decide which brand of oat milk to buy. They aren’t “staying quiet” because your post hurt them; they’re quiet because they aren’t even in the room!

The quote used a phrase that I’m definitely stealing: “Jealousy mixed with imagination.” That is a dangerous cocktail, honey. It creates these made-up storylines where we think everyone is out to get us, or that someone is “winning” a fight that we started in our own heads. When you’re “pressed” over someone who has moved on and stayed unbothered, you aren’t in a conflict. You’re in a solo performance.

It’s like shadowboxing. You’re swinging, you’re sweating, you’re getting exhausted… but there’s nobody else in the ring. You’re just fighting ghosts. And let me tell you from experience: the ghost always wins because it doesn’t even know it’s in a fight.

There is a specific kind of peace that comes when you realize the beef isn’t mutual. It’s actually a huge ego check. We like to think our “enemies” spend as much time thinking about us as we do about them. But the ultimate “grown person” move? Realizing that your energy is too expensive to spend on someone who isn’t even paying rent in your mind.

If someone blocked you, let them! If they unfollowed, they did you a favor by cleaning up your feed!

So, here’s my challenge for us today (myself included):

• Step 1: Put the subliminals away.

• Step 2: Stop checking their page to see if they’re “losing.”

• Step 3: Realize that “staying unbothered” isn’t a pose you strike for Instagram—it’s a way of life.

Life is too short to be mad at a storyline you wrote yourself. If the beef is one-sided, it means you’re the only one holding the grill. Drop the tongs, turn off the heat, and go live your life.

I’m done fighting ghosts. I’ve got too much real-life stuff to enjoy. Who’s with me? 🥂

Pyramid of Need.

By @creative.clinical.psychologist

#trauma #traumahealing #traumainformed #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #selfawareness #resilience #copingskills #ymhc

Feelings check-in. By SelfLoveRainbow

#feelings #emotions #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealth #selfawareness #selfcare #mentalhealth #ymhc

Are you addicted to your emotions?

https://de320.isrefer.com/go/startsqac8day/Stuartn/
 
#emotionalawareness #shadowwork #healingjourney #selfdiscovery #innerwork #ThinkandGrowEducation #RayBehan #Powerofwords #Subconciousness

The booklet incorporates the feelings wheel, a tool that enhances emotional literacy by connecting feelings with thoughts, physical sensations, and behaviors. https://ymhc.me/printables

#feelings #emotions #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #ymhc

Useful questions to ask yourself when you experience a setback.

#thoughts #negativethinking #negativethoughts #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealth #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #resilience #copingskills #copingstrategies #ymhc

How are you feeling today?

By @namasplay_canada

#feelings #emotions #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealth #selfawareness #warningsigns #bodyscan #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #ymhc