Tina Okoli-AzzalarabThe “Welcome Home” Mat Needs an Intervention
Hey y’all. Grab your coffee (or something stronger, I don’t judge), because we need to have a real “sister-to-sister” moment. I saw something today that triggered a memory so vivid I practically smelled the cheap cologne and lies from 2019.
You know the vibe: “These men really be having they way. They go out, do whatever they want, cheat, act a fool, and then—when they’re tired of the streets—they come back home to ‘play house.’ And the wildest part? We’re standing there at the front door with open arms and a home-cooked meal.”
Lawd, help us.
I call it the “Houdini Hustle.” He disappears, stops answering texts, and is out here living his best single life while you’re at home wondering if the “delivered” receipt on your iMessage is a personal attack from Apple. Then, suddenly, he reappears. He’s “realized what he had,” or he “misses his peace.”
And because we have hearts the size of Texas, we let him back in. We start posting those “My King is Home” pictures on the ‘gram, praising him for “never leaving” (even though he was gone for three weeks in October!).
The Reality Check: Sis, he didn’t “stay.” He just ran out of options and knew your door was the only one that didn’t require a security deposit.
I’ve been there. I’ve been the “sloo ssa” (as the kids say) who thought my love was a magical potion that could turn a frog into a prince. We think if we love them hard enough, they’ll finally see our worth. But here’s the tea: You can’t see the value of a diamond if you’re too busy looking for rocks.
It’s easy to get caught up in the “potential” of a man instead of the “reality” of him. We fall in love with the version of him that exists in our heads—the one who is faithful, consistent, and actually remembers our birthday. But when the version in front of us is a professional “hide-and-seek” champion, we have to wake up.
I’m not saying people can’t change, but I am saying your heart isn’t a revolving door. You are not a rest stop on the highway of his bad decisions.
If he can go cheat and come back to a celebration, why would he ever stop? As the saying goes, “I wouldn’t leave your slow self alone either” if I knew I could have my cake, eat it, and then come back for your dessert too!
It’s time to take that “Welcome” mat, flip it over, and write “NOT TODAY” on the back.
It hurts to let go, but it hurts way more to be the person waiting at the door for someone who doesn’t respect the house they’re living in. You deserve a partner who stays because they want to, not because they’re “ready to play house” after the playground got too cold.
Keep your head up, keep your standards higher, and for the love of everything holy, stop praising him for doing the bare minimum after he gave you the absolute maximum stress.
#Adultingapology #Adultingblunders #Adultingmessiness #Adultingproblems #Adultingstruggles #Communicationissues #CouplesDynamics #Emotionalawareness #Emotionalblackout #Emotionalhealth
Youth Mental Health Canada
think and grow
Emberhart
