Tina Okoli-AzzalarabThe Art of Staying “Out the Way
Hey everyone, it’s Tina.
If you’ve seen that quote floating around lately—the one that says, “I be out the way in real life, ion fw nobody who don’t fw me I be chilling fr”—just know that was written specifically for my soul. It is my current life anthem, my personality trait, and honestly, my greatest achievement of the year.
If you’re wondering where I’ve been, the answer is: minding the business that pays me.
Let’s be real for a second. We’ve all had those phases where we felt like we had to be everywhere, know everyone, and reply to every single text within three seconds. Not me. Not anymore. I’ve officially entered my “Low-Power Mode” era, and let me tell you, the battery life on my mental health has never been better.
I’ve realized that trying to force a connection with people who aren’t on your wavelength is like trying to charge an iPhone with a literal potato. It’s exhausting, it’s messy, and at the end of the day, you’re still at 1%.
Now? If the energy isn’t “I genuinely want to see you win,” then I am nowhere to be found. If you don’t “fw” (mess with) me, I promise you, I am not losing sleep over it. In fact, I’m probably getting an extra eight hours because I’m not overthinking a conversation I had with someone I didn’t even like in the first place.
Being “out the way” doesn’t mean I’m lonely; it means I’m selective. It’s the difference between a crowded, noisy basement party and a private lounge with soft lighting and good snacks. Here is why I’m loving this vibe:
• Zero Drama: When you aren’t in the mix, you don’t get stirred. I hear about drama second-hand now, and it feels like watching a reality show I’ve already canceled.
• Quality Over Quantity: My “circle” is more of a “dot” at this point, but that dot is solid gold.
• The Power of “No”: I’ve learned that “No” is a complete sentence. “Do you want to come to this event with 50 people you don’t know?” No. “Can you help me with this thing that drains your soul?” No.
People ask me, “Tina, what do you even do all day if you’re so ‘out the way’?”
First of all, mind yours! (Just kidding… mostly). But seriously, I be chilling. I’m rediscovering the joy of things that don’t require an audience. I’m reading books, I’m actually finishing my coffee while it’s still hot, and I’m laughing at memes in a group chat that has exactly three people in it.
There is a certain kind of power in being unreachable to the wrong people. It creates space for the right things to actually show up. I used to think I was missing out (shoutout to my old friend, FOMO), but now I realize that the only thing I was missing out on was myself.
If you’re feeling drained, stop trying to be the “main character” in everyone else’s story and start being the peaceful protagonist in your own. If someone doesn’t vibe with you, let them go. Don’t chase, don’t beg, and definitely don’t check their Instagram stories to see what they’re doing.
Stay out the way. Keep your circle small. Drink your water. Protect your peace like it’s a winning lottery ticket—because, in a world this loud, a little bit of quiet is worth a fortune.
Stay chilling, friends.
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Youth Mental Health Canada
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