Family court day was like a nightmare
The sun’s rising over Gold Rings Park. It’s a clear sky and Kingsford is already getting busy.
I’m too tired to think or be upset. The coach is full of young tourists chatting in various languages, pleased to return home from their holiday in the Big City.
Back in the Big City on the train back home
Moments like these fill me with sadness because it’s clear your mum is willing to lie to get between us. She doesn’t want me to have a meaningful part of your life, she wants to control everything.
The court hearing
I arrived to an office style building, unsure what to expect. Inside, your mum asked for a private room, a space reserved for victims. She’s willing to put on a show, as ridiculous as it is, considering we meet at your handover. She’s no victim, and at this point, more qualified for being an actor.
The hearing was brief. I couldn’t make my statement because I was too upset. Reading my statement was like being tortured. I’ve never been more humiliated in my life. I was there to beg to see you. The setup was like a criminal asking for leniency. What was my crime? To want to love and protect you?
Your mum had a team around her. A hotshot barrister and solicitor created a shield where she didn’t even have to speak for herself. She paid others to lie for her. She will ensure no expense will be spared to get her way and push me out of your life.
Your mum’s barrister proclaimed several times that we were in agreement on many aspects. A manipulation designed to perpetuate the status quo your mum imposed. I have never agreed to losing our relationship. I will never agree for you to be taken away from me.
Your mum’s barrister also said your mum did not want to be involved in litigation. This was one of the few truthful comments, however it has always been within her control to discuss arrangements. She the one, that refuses to speak.
Fundamentally, your mum is the one demanding full control. I have only asked for equal parenting, so I can be there to look after you and help make your life as wonderful and happy as it should be.
Next steps
A further report was ordered, this will be done on your behalf and the court will use its recommendations.
I expect it will advise to keep the status quo. Your mum would have calculated this from the start. This whole process had an outcome when she started it. Your mum covertly planned and calculated it to have maximum impact against me.
You may never have a childhood where I have proper involvement. But you’ll see that I will be there for you no matter what, even if that’s just a few days I’m allowed.
The days assigned to me are like the arrangements set to a criminal. My only crime will have been to love your little face and wanting to be there for you.
Losing hope
I’m exhausted, depressed, saddened, like nothing I’ve ever experienced or could imagine. Life is hell and the only thing I want is to give you a bath at night, get you snug into bed and give you a kiss when you wake up.
It will soon be a year since I was last with you when you woke up in the morning.
We will never have our time back, your mum has stolen it and denied us our love.
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Wulf Krueger
Diary for my beloved
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