🐺🔗 scary dog autism 🔗🐺Two new things.
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rdmI was sick of cheese sticking to the knife when I cut it, so I got a proper cutter.
I also stopped off at the fromagerie and picked up some quality cheeses to celebrate.
I got home, and with great ceremony opened a soft club cheddar. 36 months aged. I cut a slice - perfect, not a bit stuck to the cutter. Then I tasted it.
Bland. Blander than processed cheddar.
So I cut a piece of emmentaler. Nothing. The cracker had stronger flavour.
The same with the 5 year romano.
I broke a piece off the romano, and tasted it. Flavour exploded in my mouth, sharp and savoury. I cut a piece. Nothing. Broke a piece, heaven.
So I looked at the packaging of the cutter, and realised my mistake. I had purchased a Cheese Plain, not a Cheese Plane.
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🐙ptoothfish🐙a "latinos for trump" influencer recently delivered a powerful anti-trump sentiment, hidden within the brief spanish spoken portion of their address to the (small) crowd at trump's june 14th parade.
when asked how they got away with it they explained: "nobody inspects the spanish exposition!"
SoozcatSpace Tyrant Vull was constantly bebothered by the sound of his neighbor, Spee, practicing his double freechbass in the hanging gardens. Finally he brought a lawsuit to stop it.
"Yes, of course Spee has the legal right to play," said Vull's lawyer, "but that right ends when the... music...enters the tyrant's ears."
"So what you're saying," countered the judge, "is that Spee's freech has Vull annoyed?"
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"I've done it!" cried my partner.
"Ok, I'll bite. What have you done this time?" I knew I was going to regret this. I mean, I love them dearly, but sometimes they just get an idea. You know how it is.
They took me outside to the garden.
In the middle of the herb patch was a trellis covered in snow peas.
Then I looked down. Yep. Just as bad as I had thought.
I had to ask, though. "You didn't, did you?"
They just grinned madly. "Yep! I have achieved peas for our thyme!"
Gregaro McKool#PennedPossibilities 509: Would your MC or SC have a favourite joke or genre of jokes?
There’s definitely a shared love of shaggy dog stories, in particular Norm MacDonald’s Moth Joke. Link below if your life hasn’t been graced by this wonderfulness.
Norm McDonald - Moth Joke [napisy PL]
Mx. Luna Corbden 🐸I've managed to reconstruct the majority of 7 of the 8 lines of the punchline my dad and I made up. It truly is ridiculous.
If I can't remember the missing bits, I'll re-invent them. If I decide to subject yall to this, it will have to span multiple toots. No way this is fitting into 1k characters. That would be an injustice to my father's memory.
Did I mention, just the punchline is 8 lines?
ok wow, I found the query letter! haha! From 1992, written in Lotus Symphony but thankfully sometime in the later 90s I remembered to convert those files to .txt and .doc before that program became unusable. (I was wrong about the typewriter. It involved a dot matrix printer instead.)
Also found the six stories I published plus some I didn't finish. AND a list of 29 Shaggy Dog stories in total.
I was hoping to find a write-up of the one my dad and I wrote, at least the full punchline for reconstruction, but that might be lost if I can't remember the whole thing. (It's really fucking convoluted.)
These days I could probably write all on the list in a couple of weeks. But as I said, most of them are obsolete references. And a couple of them are insensitive (for the sake of the puns, not mean-spirited storylines, but still unacceptable).
I wish I'd typed the full punchlines in this list. Some are only partial, because back then I thought I could remember anything forever.