Mastodawn

Dad Joke Time: I'm not sure how many of you will follow this one... Might have to listen twice! #DadJokes #Humor https://youtube.com/shorts/F5ElZleG5vI

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Just watched a documentary about beavers… It was the best damn program I’ve ever seen.

I know gas and food prices are high, but have you seen the price of chimneys?

They’re through the roof!

I saw a girl dressed all in black with heavy black make up physically attacking a guy in a hoodie spray painting an obscenity on a bus shelter.

I didn't do anything as I know my classical history and it's just another example of the Goths attacking the Vandals ;)

Because they use honey combs!

My wife told me the leftover chicken would make a great sandwich.

It’s been an hour since I took it out of the fridge, and it still hasn’t made me a sandwich.

I've never had any vegetable try to speak to me before...

But I had an onion ring once.

Thanks to the people who said it was alright to let pets sleep on your bed!
My goldfish is now dead.

I have furniture that goes back to Louis the 14th...

That is, unless I can pay him by the 13th.

I'll let you know.