Scientists trying to recreate the sounds Tyrannosaurus rex made have admitted defeat after failing to find a fossil with a complete enough larynx. They just don't have enough roar materials.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #palaeontologicalhumour

Knock
Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fibonacci

#jokeoftheday #mathsjokes

A millihelen is defined as the measure of beauty required to launch one ship.

#jokeoftheday #troyweight #dadjoke

Some women are pear shaped. Some women are apple shaped. Doctors are looking for the cores.

#jokeoftheday #bytheirfruit

Notice at the Zoo
“Please don’t scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!”

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #animalprotection

Q Why do anarchists always use tea bags?
A Because proper tea is theft.

#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #nihilisthumour #classicjoke

My imaginary friend is staying for a few days.
So I've made up a bed for him.

#jokeoftheday #houseguests

My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong we went out for some tea and biscuits. It was quite exciting as she's never given blood before.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #thrift #ukspecific

My son just accused me of lying.
I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t even have any children!

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #familylife

My brother used to race horses, but he didn’t do well at it. They were always so much faster than he was.

#jokeoftheday #dadjoke #MyBrother