My wife said “Have you seen the dog bowl?”
I said “I didn’t even know he could play cricket?”

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #marriedlife

If 2x2 makes 4
and 3x3 makes 9
how come 0x0 makes gravy?

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #mathsjokes #ukspecific

My mate's stutter is so bad, by the time he told us his nanna had died, we were all singing Hey Jude.

#jokeoftheday #beatles #poortaste

Q What do you call birds that stick together?
A Vel-crows

#jokeoftheday #crackerjokes

It's my Constipation Recovery group tonight.
Sadly I can't go.

#jokeoftheday #dadjokes #scatologicalhumour

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator
#jokeoftheday #alligator #vest #joke #boost

My friend got a degree in Egyptology but couldn’t a job. So he is now studying for a PhD so he can work teaching Egyptology to other people. In his case, college is literally a pyramid scheme.

#jokeoftheday #academichumour