Happy #PrideMonth2024. I don't claim to be the world's best ally, although I try really hard to understand people who are different than my cis white male self. There is one repeated episode where it has been easy to speak up and shut down #transphobia.
I have a former colleague who is trans. I am quite close with them - we have published together, co-mentored students, run together, and had a quite a few happy hours together, before each moving to different institutions. We are friends as well as colleagues.
Still, I run into other colleagues and acquaintances who mention it. "Do you know ___ used to be ___? Snicker, snicker." My response is invariably, “I know and I don't care, and I think we should assess each other professionally and personally, not based on these pre- and mis-conceptions." That is always the end of the discussion. I have never had anyone continue their schoolyard level gossip and derision. And it has never caused anyone to get angry, upset, offended, etc. with me.
In other words, some things are easy. We should all practice these things. I welcome feedback on how I can do better, and accounts which differ from my experiences.

