If you have #ADHD, you are probably bitterly familiar with the Wall of Awful — the feeling when you *want* to do a thing, but you just *cannot* get yourself to actually *do* it. The thing you want is behind a wall of negative emotions, and anytime you even get close to it you get overwhelmed or panic.
My interest in electronics has been behind my Wall of Awful for years now. I've been staring at these damn things for weeks and struggling to get myself to do *absolutely anything* with them.
Also, do you have #ADHD and feel bad about having a bunch of unfinished projects, abandoned hobbies, unread books, etc.?
Yeah, you should stop that.
You have a neurological bias toward novelty and poor executive function. You're probably using up all your self-control to do the things you need to get done like work, chores, and errands.
As long as you aren't digging yourself into a financial hole, cut yourself some slack with the stuff you do for fun. It's gonna be messy, and that's okay.
@malcircuit Yes! I spent years berating myself (and still sometimes do), but I've found ways to mitigate my disaster to some extent and forgive myself.
I gave a 5-minute talk a couple of years ago that some fellow #ADHD folks said was helpful. Sharing it in hopes someone else finds it beneficial. YMMV.
If you have any techniques that have helped you with these challenges, I'd love to hear them.
@jack Great talk!
And OMG I loooooove huskies 
@malcircuit We meant to get a small, short-haired dog 😂
But a friend of ours had accidental pups, so we went to "just see the puppies" ...
... and came home with #LadyDuchess 😁
Maybe the best spur-of-the-moment decision of my life.
---
Here are some of my favorite puppy pics. How could we not fall in love? 😍
I feel like I have been put on blast and now visible from space...
@malcircuit Thank you for the useful term #WallOfAwful I was not aware of. I know the feeling but I don't think I have #ADHD.
I just searched the web for this term and read that it affects people on the autistic spectrum, too.
How does it relate to #procrastination, something most creative people, students and white-collar workers seem to grapple with? Is it basically the same but worse?
@chpietsch @malcircuit So much worse than just procrastination
@[email protected] the closest analogy I've heard is: put your hand on the hot stove burner. Just do it. You're physically capable of doing that, right? So just do it. Your brain won't "let you"? Hmmm, sounds fake, stop procrastinating. Except, random tasks become hot burners, like responding to that email or doing the laundry. Pushing to try to do a hot burner task feels similar to trying to convince my brain to move my hand to a hot stove.
@chpietsch @malcircuit thank you for pointing this out. Both of you. I'm in that picture.
Neither ADHD nor Autism officially diagnosed but Therapists have pointed towards autism in the past and I guess I can say I'm not bad at masking.
Need to read up on this, as I'm still trying to figure out how to fix a lot of things and "The Wall of Awful" perfectly describes A LOT of the things I've researched a lot about but never made the step to actually DO that or invest more then a halfway focused night into, incl. A lot of things that would make my job A LOT better.
This is where I first learned about the Wall of Awful
Yeah, the Wall of Awful is like procrastination on steroids. Having a Wall of Awful means there are enough negative emotions associated with Doing The Thing that it triggers your fight/flight/freeze response.
In my experience of procrastination, I can usually use logic/self-talk or a simple trick (treats, etc.) to get myself to do the thing. Dealing with a Wall of Awful takes emotional work.
@malcircuit It wasn't until I was probably 40 that I realized it isn't just "OK". It's a *huge advantage* to be continually starting new things. Every one of those projects adds some points to entries on your LIfetime Skill Tree.
The N+1th project you start is that much easier than the Nth. You get farther. Also, Project N will come up again in 6 months to 5 years and you'll make more progress again.
Think about how much better you are at electronics than you were 10 years ago. Or when you were 12.
It is such a relief to know I am not the only one, and it isn't just a character flaw!
I still remember and cherish the memory of how I felt years after spending big-for-me money on yarn and knitting patterns that sat in a bag, for years, when I finally picked up one of the projects, worked on it, and finished it. Then completed the second one! It felt amazing, and wonderful!
I still have so many unstarted as well as unfinished projects. Just ideas in head, materials saved, found, scrounged, thrifted or purchased, waiting for magic wave of umph to start or continue.
Those 2 finished projects feed the hope that some day I will pick up the unfinished, unstarted, and complete them too.
Huh, that is interesting. I am the opposite. I don't focus well when other people are around, at least other people I know. I need to be alone to get stuff done.
Part of me wishes I had known this decades ago. Better late than never, though, I guess.
Thank you. This was actually very helpful.
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