Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist
BORG: We are the Borg. Resistance is futile.
MY 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER: Why?
BORG: We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
5YO: Why?
BORG: To expand the collective.
5YO: Why?
BORG: So that we may achieve perfection.
5YO: Why?
BORG: To reach the pinnacle of our evolution.
5YO: Why?
BORG: *sigh* Because it’s just something we do, ok?
5YO: Why?
BORG: … you know what? F this …*opens a transwarp conduit and leaves*
Jun 14, 2023 at 3:38amWeb
Show threadred_rooster Jun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap
This child should strive for a occupation in the quality management!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_whys
Five whys - Wikipedia

Show threadepfiJun 16, 2023
@red_rooster @drmaddkap is it 5-why because it was invented by a 5 year old? 🤯
Show threadred_rooster Jun 17, 2023
@epfi @drmaddkap
I assume the 5-why was invented to save a person from being forced to admit things he messed up in one piece. So that the confession is easier.
And yes, sometimes the behaviors of people you deal with in your mission for quality is not much mature than that of five year old
Show threadSteveg58Jun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap
My mothers stock answer when I was that age was "because it is a crooked letter and cannot be straightened".
Show threadMTRNord (they/them)Jun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap Imagine that they assimilated her, and she would ask this on every collective thought :D
Show threadDr Sorcha O’BrienJun 15, 2023
@MTRNord @drmaddkap So basically, taking the Borg down with a DoS (not DDoS because not distributed!)
Show threadMTRNord (they/them)Jun 15, 2023
@_sorcha @drmaddkap Now that makes me wonder why the Borg have never been hacked :D Seems like a major flaw if you can just disrupt it this easily xD
Show threadTrixi TomateJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap
Could have been my 3 year old son 😂
Show threadBarrTheFatherJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap I can hear my son saying this perfectly. He was jacob the boy of a million questions.
Show threadᗰᗩᖇǤᗴ against Putin #NAFOJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap @BlumeEvolution FYI 🖖
Show threadThird spruce tree on the leftJun 14, 2023

@drmaddkap *WE ARE CANADIAN BORG*

*RESISTANCE WOULD BE IMPOLITE*

*PLEASE WAIT TO BE ASSIMILATED*

*Pour l'assimilation en français, veuillez appuyer sur le numéro 2*

*(copypasta)*

Show threadUrsidinoj/The BjornsdottirsJun 14, 2023
@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap *groan* accurate.
Show threadThird spruce tree on the leftJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap Whoa. *Just gonna admit now, this meme has been kicking around the internet for over a decade, but Ill take the boosts and likes anyway*. =D
Show threadNoctisEqui 🇺🇦🇵🇸🇪🇹🏳️‍🌈Jun 14, 2023

@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap

Thank you, this really is LOL and I am pleased I am beginning to be able to read French!

Show threadBeeCycling has movedJun 14, 2023

@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap

*SORRY, WE ARE BRITISH BORG*

*PLEASE FORM A QUEUE TO BE ASSIMILATED*

*AFTER WE HAVE A TEABREAK*

*SORRY*

Show threadDennyJun 15, 2023
@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap I Love this! 🤣
Show threadkmetzJun 15, 2023

@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap
*WE ARE GERMAN BORG*

*RESISTANCE IS NOT POSSIBLE*

*YOUR ASSIMILATION IS MANDATORY*

*YOU REQUIRE AN ASSIMILATION APPOINTMENT*

*NO APPOINTMENTS ARE AVAILABLE*

*NEW APPOINTMENTS ARE NOT POSSIBLE*

*SEND YOUR ASSIMILATION PROOF BY FAX TO RECEIVE AN APPOINTMENT REQUEST RECEIPT*

*BUT NOT TODAY*

*WITH BEST GREETINGS*

Show threadWendy NatherJun 15, 2023
@kmetz @tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap @_L1vY_ That is the absolute truth
Show threadKris Mitka  Jun 15, 2023
@wendynather @tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap @kmetz @_L1vY_ sounds like a system designed by someone who really doesn’t want to be human.
Show threadSimeon NedkovJun 15, 2023
@kmetz /cc @alper
Show thread𝓓 𝓑 𝓒𝓸𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓻Jun 15, 2023

@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap

*NOUS SOMME LE BORG FRANÇAIS*

*PFFT 🤷‍♂️*

Show thread*((char *)NULL) = '\0';Jun 15, 2023
@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap "SORY"
Show threadquadrivial, tall and grayingJun 15, 2023
@tezoatlipoca @drmaddkap
Show threadPetrichor SquirrelJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap my first and best clinical supervisor in grad school was a child psychologist who told me that when children do that what they're really saying is "I love you, keep talking"
Show threadnonamesakeJun 14, 2023
@PetrichorSquirrel @drmaddkap
Borg missed an important assimilation 😋. imagine Borg asking only wylhy to each other and everyone after the assimilation 🙂
Show threadKen AndersonJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap @donmelton I have three grown kids and this brought me straight back to the joys of raising young children!
Show threadViviana the Gender WitchJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap your 5yo daughter: Why?
the borg: hook up to our hive mind and you'll know why instantly
Show threadSchmakerJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap @radiotata guess you will understand Borg's feelings 😀
Show threadAmsel/Professor PootisJun 14, 2023
@drmaddkap The result of the battle between the Borg and your daughter
Show threadTurkiJun 15, 2023
@drmaddkap @podfeet hahaha I just saw my 3 year old son in that, god knows how many times I just give up and walk away after so many Why’s
Show threadferricoxideJun 15, 2023
@drmaddkap
Show threadKorfoxJun 15, 2023

@drmaddkap
10 years later:
The Borg: Strength is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. We wish to improve ourselves. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
Answer: We don't want to be assimilated!
The Borg: Why?
Answer: Our society is based on equality and freedom.
The Borg: Why?
Answer: Because we came from slavery and after bloody riots. Freedom and equality allow living in peace and wealth
The Borg: Why?
...
...
Answer: Well we give up.

Sorry for bad englisch

Show threadzxmJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap you just know that a five year old is going to push their dinner into the vinculum and destroy it, don't you? :-)
Show threadMarkusJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap I’m reminded of this old gem: https://youtube.com/watch?v=dIeuBPDUzB0&t=2m35s (The “Why?” scene starts at 2:35.)
Terminator Vs Jesus HD The Greatest Action Story Ever Told Mad Tv 1996

YouTube
Show threadLucaJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap why?
Show threadMan DyJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap
Holy Shit 🤣
I love it.
Show threadDan the 3D Printing DadJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap Either this is an abbreviated scenario, or I have more patience than the Borg. 😋
Show threadDean SegovisJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap yup.....
Show threadTucker TeagueJun 16, 2023
@drmaddkap Some stories would resolve themselves rather quickly if the characters just had cell phones, others if there was just a 5YO present.
Show threadOliver MaksimovićJun 16, 2023

@drmaddkap at some point in the past I touched the topic of evolution during one of those "why" sessions.

Now, almost every day I get a question in form of "before lions became lions, what were they?" 😤

Show threadClaudio Zizza 🦜Jun 17, 2023
@drmaddkap The borg just had to ask a counterquestion to break enernity.
Show threadRai Aren 🖖✨📚🇺🇦Jun 27, 2023
@drmaddkap Haha, that's awesome! 😄 👍 🖖
Show threadZorin =^o.o^=Jul 19, 2023

@drmaddkap

OKAY I LOVE YOU BU-BYE!