Mastodawn

My unbiased #RSAC 2023 ‘nobody reads my mastodon’ so I can say whatever review is:

everything was ChatGPT, so annoying, I apologize for everything mean I said about zero trust last year

booths are back

crowds are back

swag sucked horribly this year. Especially the big companies. It was watch a whole pitch to get a stupid keychain, you’re not scanning me for that…

kudos to the booth that was auctioning a full Blantons collection tho

nobody else masked, go with god

I see you, companies that fed us with free food trucks

please tell your marketing people they don’t need to define malware to us like we are 5

I’m so very tired of identical pew pew maps do something interesting

if you’re going to throw out metrics, cite your sources

villages are still better than expo-,

you can bribe me to notice your product that isn’t shit with swag, why do you give out keychains and boring logo shirts I’m serious I want a nice phone charger or a shot

kira :3 Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes "go with god" lmao. i guess biological security is still out

Steffen Christensen Apr 27, 2023

@chrisisgr8 @hacks4pancakes Protecting oneself from brain damage is so 2020.

Alun Jones Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes why would anyone think I need another black t-shirt with barely anything more than a company's logo on it?

kajer :notverified:Apr 27, 2023

@ftp_alun @hacks4pancakes only if the quote is clever or funny and not immediately out of date. Otherwise, yes, I don't need a logo tee.

My protip, when visiting vendorA, wear competition vendor b swag. Vendor A will give you something to "cover that up"

Alun Jones Apr 27, 2023

@kajer @hacks4pancakes Even if the quote is clever/funny, I'm done picking up black t-shirts.

@ftp_alun yeah my drawer is full but I need LOTS OF OTHER STUFF

Alun Jones Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes flashing light bouncy balls are like a consumable for me - but that's because I juggle. I can always use another Yubikey. For Debbie, I'd have to say a corkscrew, because they're always going missing, and an honest-to-goodness women's cut shirt, because unisex just doesn't. And a decent size tote bag.
Maybe some small toys or electronic kits, but that's not for everyone.
Mostly what I want to bring back is a one-pager on those products or services that I might have been interested in. But don't pollute it with your other products that you want me to buy, but I don't.

J Wolfgang Goerlich Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes So. Much. ChatGPT.

Johnny Xmas Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes I read this

@j0hnnyxm4s fuck - don’t tell anyone

Krux Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes @j0hnnyxm4s ... and keep all this gossip to myself?

Johnny Xmas Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes my silence costs many gins

@j0hnnyxm4s oh darn

Wayne Dixon Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes @j0hnnyxm4s maybe you can finally get rid of some of the gin you have by buying off Johnny.

Johnny Xmas Apr 27, 2023

@waynedixon @hacks4pancakes she’s been trying for nearly 15 years and hasn’t gotten there yet.

Stephen Battista (he/him)Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes this is why I always register for the conference with a new gmail account. Scan my badge all you want. Sure, send emails to an account I won’t open.

Steffen Christensen Apr 27, 2023

@MITREsteve @hacks4pancakes #protip

suldrew 🚲🏳️‍🌈Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes the swag at B-Sides was mostly good, but the dumbest thing ever was the embroidered flight suit tab style keychain

Kevin Boyd (he/him) 🇨🇦Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes when you say "I see you" for the food trucks, am I correct in interpreting that as multiple face-with-heart-eyes emojis? As opposed to putting them on notice? 😂🌮🍔😍😍

Alexis Brignoni

@hacks4pancakes my favorites = reads 💖

@hacks4pancakes damn.

Dustin [BusySignal-KE2EFX]Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes

I am here for this...

how many talks still had tall high chairs that are awkward for everyone but way more awkward for many who dread them ?

I hope your keynote was recorded and gets out faaaaast...I wanna see that.

Walker Boh🛡Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes 👏😂
What makes you think nobody reads this ?

Lightfighter Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes Knowing our salespeople, I imagine my my employers was probably very cringe.

Bill Kyrouz Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes keychains? I thought we were still in the Era of Comfy Socks. Hopefully vendors will reconsider before the next big show…

ideaPDish Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes

Maybe, they just jumped the shark. Nothing lasts forever.

SIEM Shady Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes Thanks for the update, it's valuable perspective.

It's great if you got the chance to catch up with folks. Last time I went was 2016 and wondered if it got better.

Looks like a nice panel they put together this year. Worlds better than I remember.

I think seeing Wendy for the first time in 2016 was my highlight.

@hacks4pancakes Not looking forward to hearing more about the overhyped ChatGPT when our management gets back home.

Stormgren Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes This was pretty much OFC this year, without food trucks. If I had seen ONE MORE postdoc thinking they were on to something with poorly defined "machine learning" or "large language model" somethingoranothers to do log analysis of optical networks, I was gonna scream.

@hacks4pancakes and if you are going to sell your product, have SMEs who know something about your product on your stand 🤷‍♂️

@hacks4pancakes let's be honest, most stats that a company will throw at you are sourced as "My source is that I made it the fuck up!"

@hacks4pancakes oh, I love unfiltered Leslie on this platform! Well said. Glad I didn’t go. Haha

FRWessling ✅🌴🍍Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes just one more reason I don't go to rsac

@hacks4pancakes Great review. I'm in a different sector of tech, but the shows are the same. The food truck angle is smart. Feed me means you love me🙂

Kevin Thomas ✅Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes well said!

That Anonymous Coward Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes

please tell your marketing people they don’t need to define malware to us like we are 5

perhaps the problem is that the marketing people had to have it explained to them like they are 5, because they are marketing drones.

Niche job creation - Someone to come in & explain the basic, fundamental, bedrock so they can explain how the widget is better against threats they can actually define with some skill.

TheDewser Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes yeah but I need a new set of t-shirts! The one from the 2012 RSAC is pretty much gone.

Gary McGraw Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes when you "retire" like me, you get to skip #RSAC

gives me time to think and write stuff like this for the other corporate shills https://www.darkreading.com/vulnerabilities-threats/tech-insight-dangers-of-using-large-language-models-before-they-are-baked

Expert Insight: Dangers of Using Large Language Models Before They Are Baked

Today's LLMs pose too many trust and security risks.

Dark Reading

Graham Churcher Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes

I just got back from RSA - glad I kept it to 3 days.

Agreed - swag sucked, I can't believe they are still trying to hand out webcam covers!

Yep 80% of key notes was about AI but it was bound to be. Interesting that Trellix wants to start hiring gamers.

I did attend the RSA/SANS CISO boot camp (Sunday to Monday) which was frankly awesome (I got so much value out of that). I also made a tonne of great contacts both internationally and back home from Canada.

Overall I'm very happy I went!

Secure, in Style 👞🗝️Apr 27, 2023

@hacks4pancakes I feel like I should know this, especially since I’ve heard the term many times before…

“Pew pew” maps?

AMS Apr 28, 2023

@SecureInStyle @hacks4pancakes

Secure, in Style 👞🗝️Apr 28, 2023

@AMS @hacks4pancakes Ahhhhh, the BEST 'pew pew' map to have ever existed! 😍

AMS Apr 28, 2023

@SecureInStyle @hacks4pancakes New rule: If you want a pew pew map, it must be projected by Eidophor like the cold war relic it is.

SteveS | CISSP May 1, 2023

@hacks4pancakes I was amused at the comment from a vendor to an attendee overheard at a booth in the expo...

"Would you like a bag for your bags of bags?"

I swear that like 60% of the vendors were handing out bags on the first day the expo was open. A few managed to have other things the following day but it was an entire expo of mostly bags and pens and stickers.