MrsBigStuff
PwnallthethingsElon Musk to fake-quit as CEO of birbsite at some point in the future when he eventually wants to
There, I fixed your headlines folks
But in a similar vein, I am stepping down as CEO of Apple, once I have first got that job and also once a successor has been found and also will continue to run the hardware and software divisions once I do.
See why this is a BS non-statement yet?
Infuriating that journos are allowing themselves to take the bait of that non-statement as a policy, when the actual story is "Elon Musk says he isn't ready to quit yet; despite poll saying he would"
nailbomb3
Thomas A. Fine 
@Pwnallthethings "I will resign when I feel like it, after which I will still retain the power to do all the same crazy things I am now doing."
John Yonchuk@thomasafine @Pwnallthethings “I just won’t do them as publicly as I am right now, but fret not I will give Matt and Bari all the emails to release.”
Random Damage 🌻@Pwnallthethings did anyone actually believe he'd quit?
Orange@RandomDamage @Pwnallthethings Muggins here thought he might! 🙋♀️
Infosecsie@RandomDamage @Pwnallthethings I do still think he will. This is all theatrics. He mentioned during court that he intends to step down at Twitter some point soon. His Tesla shareholders are pissed and he’s hemorrhaging money at both places.
cacao_byproduct@Pwnallthethings I feel that journos love a sideshow, at least in the current climate
@AuDHDiego Like, if you have to write a story about a non-story, at least get the headline right
OtownKim@AuDHDiego @Pwnallthethings America has been a sideshow since 2015 Thanks to the MSM
Shush🗽WearADamnMask😷💉💉💉
Brian Danger Hicks@Pwnallthethings Ah but this all lines up with their earlier credulous reporting when he said he'd stop being the Twitter CEO someday, as a ploy to avoid losing a Tesla stockholder lawsuit accusing him of being a distracted and overcompensated CEO for that company
Chris Caple@Pwnallthethings Yahbut he said he'd "abide" by the results of the poll. Taken in a Lebowskian sense, that would entail chilling, accepting that the poll results are what they are, getting high, listening to some bowling tapes, and not feeling compelled to take any specific action one way or another. Just abiding.
NanaKim@Pwnallthethings He hates to be a loser. He needs to look at Tesla stock and get his head out of his arse.
♾️ Roko's Apprentice ♾️@Pwnallthethings yeah that’s a good point. he’s fine enacting other sweeping changes at the drop of a hat, but for some reason this particular one requires careful consideration.
GVF 🇨🇦I'm guessing there are plenty of people "crazy enough" to take the job.
There needs to be one that the board is crazy enough to accept.
fluids_guru@Pwnallthethings Elon plays the media as well as Trump
ShaneIsGames@Pwnallthethings We saw this same thing a lot with Trump, too; insane sound bites regurgitated precisely at face value with no further analysis aside from a cursory "some have disputed this claim" in the closing.
Nathan Kalmoe
Dr.Susan Bushinski@Pwnallthethings it’s all a game with him
Zorro Notorious MEB 😡I can't imagine anyone wanting to be CEO of Twitter given Musk's public persona. He broke it, he bought it. And I don't think him spending more time on Tesla is likely to change Tesla's prospects. His public persona is going to be just as big a problem there as it is at Twitter, maybe even worse. He needs medical help, not new direct reports.
CPR@Pwnallthethings says will step down once he finds person for job he continually shits on in front of millions of people
Cat West@Pwnallthethings They don’t care if he’s a hypocrite, liar, fabulist. They only know that being his megaphone will insure they get clicks. And they don’t even have to do any research, nor risk negative pushback from his PR or fans. It’s ‘factory line’ “news”. It’s not news. It’s an exercise is stenography all of which gets to promote him. Like TFG, he just needs to dominate the media cycles. As long as he can crowd out real news, or relevant information, he’s ‘winning’.
JenL@Pwnallthethings I would argue the major story is the reveal: Elon has always used polls as cover for doing what he wanted to do anyway, never because he cared about the will of the people voting.
/dev/null - OLD ACCOUNT@Pwnallthethings yeah but that's tech "journalism", as in lifestyle-tech journalism. And both paper and digital news live of clickbait, so there's that
Yargo@Pwnallthethings I use this as a filter to decide which media to take seriously: Flush those praising the baby boss, follow those noticing the trick.
Nols@Pwnallthethings Yeah, I'm disappointed to see it being parroted all across internal news. They should know better.
@Pwnallthethings Narcissists never admit defeat or go away
John Godsland@Pwnallthethings "This is just the latest in a recent list of increasingly erratic pronouncements from Musk whose antics since purchasing Twitter have caused a collapse in revenue at the social media giant as advertisers sour on the future of the platform. This period has also seen Mr Musk's personal fortune collapse as he has shifted his focus on to Twitter full time and away from electric car maker Tesla which has spooked investors."
infuriatingpixels@Pwnallthethings To be fair (although I'm not sure why!), who would want the job if Musk is going to be your boss and continue to be as whiny and difficult and constantly believe he could execute better!
Melody Schreiber@Pwnallthethings exactly how I read his statement
@Pwnallthethings Why do we think the poll was real? Why do we think any of his polls are real?
Comfortably Numb@Pwnallthethings The only place Musk can run "software and servers" team is into the ground.
Rob Hafner 
@ygalanter @Pwnallthethings that's not true, his software also runs into parked firetrucks
@Pwnallthethings speaking of Musk and software - a little insight on how Tesla software is run: https://nitter.net/atomicthumbs/status/1032939617404645376
walking mirage (@atomicthumbs)
A former Tesla employee, who worked on their IT infrastructure, is posting in a subforum of a subforum, a little-known place for funy computer forgotten by time. His NDA has expired. He has such sights to show us. Join me and I will be your silent guide into a world of horror.
Lorry@Pwnallthethings Could you bring back the #AppleNewton before you go please? The only change would be MicroSD, a better battery and a USB3 port.
@Lorry I will run Apple by Apple poll of all customers who are pre-selected to agree with me about everything, you know. Democracy.
@Pwnallthethings no true Scotsman would disagree with you!
Robin from Colorado 🇺🇸🇺🇦@Lorry @Pwnallthethings Elon is running polls of his ONLYFANS. I had to
Dr. Zed@Pwnallthethings
I will cease to be CEO of Pfizer when I have found a successor foolish enough to take the job. I shall however just continue to run the entire commercial enterprise and shall remain sole decision maker for clinical development. And own 51% of Pfizer stock.
I will cease to be CEO of Pfizer when I have found a successor foolish enough to take the job. I shall however just continue to run the entire commercial enterprise and shall remain sole decision maker for clinical development. And own 51% of Pfizer stock.
toxtethogrady@Pwnallthethings That's unacceptable. He needs to have a successor named prior to the next shareholders' meeting. And I have a small number of shares...
Darth Moomin
michelle.cat@Pwnallthethings but my cat who is known for sending Skype messages to my clients volunteers believe me she would do far less damage than the toddler running dimwitter now
John Refior@Pwnallthethings
Apple would also have to be a private company wholly owned by you
Apple would also have to be a private company wholly owned by you
@Pwnallthethings No competent executive search firm would help him find a new CEO anyhow. People do business with people they know, like and trust. Who trusts Musk?
Wile Entertainment Coyote@Pwnallthethings can you even imagine having your actual boss be your supposed employee and also be constantly responding to social media messages from your customers. "oh pwn, catturd says he's being throttled again could you look into this"
eko_dot_swf"Elon quitting Twitter to run 2 largest teams at Twitter"
Lori@Pwnallthethings Wow, accuracy. Refreshing
🤖 The Droid Engineer@Pwnallthethings suggested modification: Elon Musk to fake-quit as CEO of birdsite doesn't matter because he still owns it.
Christina Lutz@Pwnallthethings Do you think that will be good enough to help his stocks?
Tom Bellin 
@Pwnallthethings Is there a journalism course they're all forced to take where the focus is on not calling out obvious lies?
So-and-so says, "I am a trained navy seal and once fought a tyrannosaurus to the death armed with only a handful of ketchup packets" is not a story unless the lead is "So-and-so is crazy"
[TDK] Digital Cheese@Pwnallthethings Elon would still own Twitter if he stepped down as CEO. Doubt he would just waste that type of money just to do a poll like that (and it isn't to just troll people).
@Pwnallthethings Like legit, he even says he would still run shit lol. https://twitter.com/i/status/1605372724800393216
@Pwnallthethings its funny that all these people genuinely think anything major was gonna change with this poll. LOL
midwesterner 🦬@Pwnallthethings Maybe he could ask #JohnMastodon to take the helm of #Twitter . I've heard good things about that fellow.
Angry Centrist@Pwnallthethings he's waiting until he can find a patsy to take the EU heat.
JoeDai@Pwnallthethings I did enjoy the fact that only 3k people were watching the stream on Youtube. I'm just more thankful now that this place exists.