Is empathy political?
A thread on autistic empathy.

A still-quite-popular belief about autistic people is that we lack empathy.

I think this is faulty logic.
Here's why:

A thread 🧵

1/10

#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent
#DoubleEmpathy #TheoryOfMind

Is empathy political?

An article on autistic empathy.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD #Neurodiversity #Empathy #DoubleEmpathy

https://www.neurofabulous.org.uk/autistic-empathy.html

Repeat after me

Autism is not possession

Your child was not stolen from you

They are not contaminated

They are different. Their mind works differently than yours. Yes it still works. Yes it is weird. Yes it is wonderful.

Your child is not a witch. Burning their insides with proverbial fire and literal poison will not back the thing that was stolen from you.

The only thing that has been stolen from you was your humanity, the moment you looked upon your own child as anything other than exactly who they were supposed to be

And that is lost from you forever

We exist because we have to. We are the optimal solution to a problem most of you don't even see.

You can't from way up there. The solution stolen by the same reactive contagion that caused you to treat your child as a symptom to be corrected instead of a person to be understood

You see labels

We see effects

People used to be embarrassed to be this ignorant.

Now they're celebrated

#autism #disgust #doubleempathy #singularignorance

A word about communication differences in autistic folks.

Non-autistic people: That confusion, frustration, surprise at sudden unexpected turns, and impatience that you experience constantly when listening to an autistic person about an important matter? Yeah, we feel *exactly* the same way about what you're saying, for *exactly* the same reasons. Only for us, we have to deal with that in almost every single person we meet, not just one. It's so pervasive and familiar to us that we invented a term for it, now confirmed by supporting research: the double empathy problem.

So before you cut one of us off or otherwise stop listening, please take a minute to consider what it's like to live on the business end of that negative behavior you're about to display. Imagine putting up with that from the majority of people you interact with. And maybe try to listen a little more attentively. Because whether people listen or not, we do have things we need to say.

#ActuallyAutistic
#DoubleEmpathy
@actuallyautistic

"Theory of mind"

And why it isn't all it's cracked up to be.

A thread.

🧵

#Autistic #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #AuDHD #ADHD #Neurodiversity #TheoryOfMind #Psychology #DoubleEmpathy

For those playing along at home, here’s how I assess myself at meeting the stated needs of my SO as these things have been expressed to me:

Being inquisitive 10%
Shared space 10-20%
Not needing to be micromanaged 20%
Emotional engagement 30%
Verbal expressions of affection 30%
Engagement in activities 30%
Not getting defensive 30%
Engaging in conversation 30%
Physical displays of affection 40%
Remaining open to dialogue 60%
Housework 80%
Practical help 90%

Note that these concepts are scored according to their definition of what those traits entail (e.g. I’m very inquisitive, but don’t ask them many questions, I tend to be led through conversations we have).

Also note, this is not meant to be judgmental of them asking for these things - they have every right to want them in a relationship and ask for them.

I’m feeling right now that I’m incapable of meeting their needs to a viable level to maintain the relationship, and I have no idea when I might be in a position to meet those needs to a viable level.

At the same time, I feel like I’m not meeting some of my needs (time/space alone to work through childhood trauma pushed down for 50+ years, for one), and because I’m a DAPP*, I find it hard to give myself the space and time I feel I need when I’m in a "living together" arrangement.

If I were to rate my suitability for being in a long-term, living-together relationship right now, I’d probably put it at about 20%.

Let’s see what their psych says when we have a joint session with them tomorrow - I’ll likely be reminded of several other things to add to the above list before then.

An “interesting" 20 hours ahead 😳

#ActuallyAutistic #DoubleEmpathy #ActuallyPDA

*https://zaxxon.bot/objects/gTq7klMKIoI