I am the happiest person with my vocation and never tire of thanking God for having brought me to this little corner of heaven.
I live for God alone. My sole concern is to know Him that I may love Him more. I have begun the life of heaven here on earth, a life invented and thought of by God through all eternity; a life of love alone and of ceaseless praise.
If you could see but for an instant what’s in the soul of this Carmelite postulant, you’d understand the happiness of living always near the tabernacle. Alone with Him in His aloneness, I am there at the chapel grates or in my humble cell.
There is nothing between Him and His creature now. I hear His divine voice always. I gaze on always and contemplate His infinite beauty. I feel always the beating of my God’s Heart, begging me for love because He knows that love contains everything: sacrifice and souls.
Sister dear, without doubt, as Jesus Himself said to Magdalene, He has chosen for me “the best part.” A Carmelite is to be concerned with her God alone. She’s to live, no longer on earth, but in God. She is to move and to work and to breathe far from people, far from earthly things. We are to remember the world but only in order to pray for it and for people but without letting ourselves be influenced by them, without breathing in their impure atmosphere.
Jesus has imprisoned me here to unite Himself with me, nothing disturbing this gaze, this vision of this adorable Face of His which one day I shall possess in its fullness there in heaven. I often imagine that I am like a queen; for while others serve the King in the apostolate of action, I, like a queen, am by His side, listening to Him, contemplating Him, praying together with Him, and joining Him in His own suffering. He exchanges His own feelings with my own, by divinizing them. He surrounds me with His divine light, beautifying my soul with His teachings.
Oh, how good is this Jesus to me, His poor creature. He does not want to be separated from me for a moment. He seeks comfort and rest in my soul. He has made me like unto Himself by transforming me into a host.
Yes, a Carmelite is a host who carries Jesus within herself. She is not the one acting. It is He. He sacrifices her, offers her up in silence, just as He sacrifices and immolates Himself silently on the altar. She prays always with Jesus at the altar; she saves souls but by looking to Jesus. She sheds her heart’s blood by denying herself in all things. She has sacrificed everything for Jesus.
Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes
Letter 141 to Amelia Montt Martinez (excerpt)
October 1919
Griffin, M D & Teresa of the Andes, S 2023, The Letters of Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes, ICS Publications, Washington DC.
Featured image: Image credit for the photo of St. Teresa of the Andes goes to the Discalced Carmelites.
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