The day at the shelter was mostly quiet. There were so few cats after the holiday adoption rush that I had plenty of time to spend with the kitties. Among the usual ladies and myself, there was a girl I had never seen before, as this was her first shift as a cat care volunteer.

When I wrote the previous post, I had already cried for about 40 minutes. After seeing the cat's eyes, mine began flooding with tears again. I slowly and quietly closed the cubicle door, holding myself together as much as I could. I made my way from the cat adoption lobby to the staff room, grabbed a paper towel, the only thing I could immediately see and reach, went to a standing table in front of a window, and began crying.

I tried to pull myself together, hoping I could return to my shift, but I just couldn't. A staff girl who always says hi to me asked if I wanted some cashews. I was barely able to answer that I needed a minute, trying to hide my eyes to hide my emotional state.

But I couldn't. The tears kept flowing and I felt like I was drowning. I decided to pick up my things and sign off early. My belongings were in the lockers behind the staff area, including the girl who had offered me the cashews. By then, I think it was pretty obvious that I was really crying.

The ladies room is just across from the staff room, so I went straight there to grab more tissue. When I looked at myself in the mirror, my face was a mess. As I was leaving the restroom, the girl on her first shift walked in and we crossed paths. I was barely able to tell her that I needed to go, and then made my way to clock out.

Just as I was clocking out, the staff girl came out and asked me if I was OK. I think she asked if anyone had been rude to me, but I replied that there was a situation with a surrendered cat that had hit very close to home. At that exact moment, the girl from the restroom came out. I could see that her eyes were teary.

"Is it about the cat?" she asked.

"Yes, it's the cat," I replied.

Then the staff girl asked me, "Do you need a hug?" I said yes.

For the first time in my adult life, I felt sincere empathy and comfort from someone I did not have an established relationship with. That was something I had never experienced before as a man. Yet now, as a woman, that little gesture meant a lot to me at that moment.

The volunteer girl began explaining the full context of the cat to the staff member. As she spoke, I could clearly see her eyes turning red with tears. I was only able to say that I needed to go, and I left quickly, heading to my car, trying not to draw any attention.

I had errands to run, but all I wanted was to go home. When I finally got there, I went straight to the bedroom and cried for probably around two hours.

#ShelterLife #AnimalRescue #SharedHumanity #GriefAndCare