Mastodawn

An unnecessarily hostile start to the year

You’ve been away on holiday, hopefully enjoying yourself. I’ve been thinking about you every day. My mind is filled thinking about your cute mannerisms and the way you say things.

Me and Olivia make jokes using your sayings like the way you say ‘bigger one’ (referring to you asking for more mayo and ketchup) mimicking your voice. We also do things like point out dogs by calling them dee dees.

It’s been really hurtful thinking about you when we’re not together but now with the court order, I’m trying to be optimistic and make a success of it. I’m trying not to avoid thinking about you or bringing you up in conversation, instead I’m trying to celebrate you for the wonderful personality that you have.

The impossibility of agreeing on even the tiniest things

Recently I agreed to change our video call time to earlier because it would mean consistency for you having our call together after dinner and the time is ahead in Coldland.

I realised that I could be stuck on a train at that time, perhaps with patchy reception or unable to find a quiet environment. So I asked your mum if we could rearrange. I didn’t expect it to be an issue as our call would most likely only be a couple of minutes and I was essentially available at any time in the day.

Your mum decided to refuse. It was a reminder of the losing situation I’m in. I’m left with the choices of planning ahead and letting your mum know if something could affect plans or risk not providing a warning and being accused of being unreliable.

It’s been a week since our last call. You’re away abroad so I can’t see you and even with clear recommendations that our time should be regular. Your mum remorselessly finds every opportunity to cut the little that we have.

A frustrating start to the new year

New Year should bring revitalised energy and renewed drive to provide generosity to the world. In your mum’s and my case, it should be another reminder to focus on your wellbeing. I’m lost at the thought that she could be starting with the intention to continue to cause as much disruption as possible.

Trying to find optimism

I won’t lose hope that your mum’s aggression and hostility will ease with time but for now I guess I have to be realistic as well.

All going well, we’ll see each other on Tuesday during our next call and I’ll give you a big hug next Sunday. I can’t wait. I know you’re going to be lovely and chatty and your voice is the sweetest thing to my ears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4Ics03xzUQ

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