Todd 'Papi' CarlosLADY: My cat won't stop mewling
ME: It's okay, I'm a cat whisperer
LADY: Oh, great
ME {whispering to cat}: shut the hell up
Speedyquin
- 10 Followers
- 75 Following
- 43 Posts
A running mad rugby fan
Well, that race wasn't my best, a minute and a half slower than target, despite being 3 minutes ahead at the halfway stage and then an horrific case of chaffing on the inner thighs #Ouch #ShowerReallyStung
First half marathon in ages tomorrow, not expecting much, but would just be nice to get around pain free #RunningPost #GosportHalf
Swim JeansJUDGE: I order you to pay $10,000 - do you understand?
MARIO:
JUDGE: it’s a fine
MARIO [sadly]: no itsa not
mister_blankodysseus: we now set out on our odyssey.
sailor: [raising hand] what's an odyssey?
odysseus: a long journey named after the only survivor.
sailor: oh ok wait what.
Andrew Nadeau[after leaving willy wonka’s factory]
me:
wife:
me:
wife:
me:
wife: lot of deaths for a to—
me: a LOT of deaths for a tour!
me:
wife:
me:
wife:
me:
wife: lot of deaths for a to—
me: a LOT of deaths for a tour!
Moose AllainTiny particles of rum, pineapple and coconut are soon to be beamed around the new 27km tunnel of the Large Piña Collider.
Proud to say that when I tweeted this it was liked by CERN. So don't be surprised if you see them attempt this at some point in the future.
Mark WatsonLet's see if anyone sees this, then.
Come on Friday, hurry up and get to 5 so I can clock off guilt free
SirEviscerate 
