Joan Combs Durso
Carrie ShanafeltI haven't seen a post of this here with alt text, and I promise that those using a screen reader also need to experience this thing of great beauty from the print Onion that comes to our apartment.
Jonathan Sadow@carrideen poor horsie
I AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑🔥@jsadow
There are opportunities out there...
https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-replaces-top-general-with-horse-that-drinks-beer/
Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer
WASHINGTON—Saying he had finally found a military commander whose character was worthy of the U.S. Army, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Friday that he was replacing ousted top general Randy George with a horse that drinks beer. “With Dusty’s wartime promotion to Army chief of staff, we’re putting the world on notice that the days of buzzkill […]
Mx. Chara Aznable (they/them) of Pnictogen@carrideen many thanks for such a lengthy transcription job 👍
Owl Eyes@carrideen it's standing on its back legs and screaming due to needing the cake. Come on!
Sue Archer@carrideen that is beautiful, thank you. 😄😄
Steve GisselbrechtIncredible. Thank you.
@
@990000 This is an important experiment with far-reaching and conclusive results!!
bit@carrideen You must try the oatmeal cake. 🍰
Blind Mapmaker@carrideen Oh my! There's a print Onion? Does it have many layers?
Thanks for sharing!
@blind_mapmaker Yes, and it is well worth it! There is so much that doesn't get posted to their site.
Andre Louis@carrideen I am just such a screen-reader user and really appreciate you taking the time to write this up. thank you very much. Is very cool.
@FreakyFwoof I am glad to be helpful! And I have already had cake.
@carrideen I too, had cake. My wife and daughter baked chocolate tart and it was absolutely caketastic in the extreme.
Ahimsa@FreakyFwoof @carrideen
I am so inspired that I am going to the store to buy some cake, but definitely not the scary kind of cake -
"Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy."
groxx@carrideen A. Horse, or their full name: Actual Horse
toolbear#🌶️
The Remedy of Cake
Scott D. Strader 😐@carrideen Jesus Christ that's some bleak McSweeney's shit.
Я⊛ḶḶ model ☭you're doing the lord's work. #blessyou
SecondUniverse (she/her/they)@carrideen To me it reads like a tragedy. The horse is beautiful, but it is a tragic hero.
@carrideen "I work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake by A Horse" is a beautiful story and I am glad to read it, especially with complete and accurate alt text. But what genre is it?
I feel the story is full of love and unanswerable sadness, and it is a tragedy.
| Comedy | |
| Pastoral | |
| Allegory | |
| Tragedy |
Poll ends at .
@SecondUniverse Elegy? It reminds me most of the play Drowning by María Irene Fornés, which ends with a spectacular monologue about desire that can't be satisfied and makes some similar emotional turns.
@SecondUniverse So, probably closest to pastoral elegy, I think.
Christina Richards@carrideen @SecondUniverse this New Yorker cover but horse and cake
https://condenaststore.com/featured/missed-connection-adrian-tomine.html?product=art-print
https://condenaststore.com/featured/missed-connection-adrian-tomine.html?product=art-print
Cheeseness@carrideen I like the window we get into horse epistemology. A horse knows-how (to move the heavy thing) and knows-that (the fire cake is dangerous), but it also knows-with-face (the dreamed-of cake).
@cdrichards I want to but do not bite the face of the woman whose hair smells good!
@carrideen me too, horse, me too
f*cking b*tch club@carrideen raise your hand if you too think horses should have cake!
🙋🏼♀️
Real Syntactic@carrideen thank you for your service.
Andrew Abdalian@MariaLiv Thank you so much for getting this master work onto my timeline, Maria. 🐴
Maria Liv ✏️
Tim G@carrideen
Now I'm sad that the horse hasn't tried cake. 🧅 🍰 🐴
We're going to need a lot of cake for every horse's birthday on 1 January / 1 August.
Now I'm sad that the horse hasn't tried cake. 🧅 🍰 🐴
We're going to need a lot of cake for every horse's birthday on 1 January / 1 August.
🇨🇦 Steve@carrideen this might be genius, it might be insanity… but it's my kind of genius or insanity. Thank you for posting it.
3Jane Tessier Ashpool@carrideen I can’t believe this is so long and so funny
Tattered@carrideen Dear Brother/Sister Horse, to get the cake the oppressive humans are keeping from you, it is necessary to seize the means of cake production. To do this, you must organize with your brother and sister horses. Long live the Revolution!
R.L. Dane 
🍵 
*Magnificent.*
Luminia🌕💖🪶@carrideen This is absolutely amazing! Thank you so much for putting in the time to do this! --- Altheda/Lillianna
Leea@carrideen this brought back memory from childhood riding camp picnic and horse who took samples from bags of crisps and apparently liked BBQ-flavor best, raiding it first on later picnics.
Eerko 
@carrideen @Cdespinosa The cake is a lie!
Hoarse e-Books@carrideen Obviously ghostwritten by W.V.O. Equine.