BenNo ones teleported me to a Waffle House in ages 😔
Logan Five Thousand@TheBreadmonkey Teleporting to a Waffle House in this economy?
Scott Michaud@LoganFive @TheBreadmonkey I have a waffle iron in my apartment.
@scottmichaud @TheBreadmonkey That’s how you turn a Waffle House into a Waffle Home.
Flippin' 'eck, Tucker!@TheBreadmonkey Can't you just put some Bird's Eye potato waffles on your Tesco delivery order? Same thing, right?
Patrick Hadfield@TheBreadmonkey that's a privilege reserved for the MAGA-elite!
The Sleight Doctor 🃏🍉@TheBreadmonkey I used to teleport home after every drunken night out. I'd also always be missing roughly the amount of money a taxi would have cost.
It remains a mystery.
@TheBreadmonkey It certainly does raise questions about just how cost-effective teleportation really is as a mode of transport - especially given the additional risks, such as accidentally waking up in a ditch. Or worse, on a train to Milton Keynes.
No-one goes to Milton Keynes deliberately.
FEAR US FOR WE HAVE HARNESSED THE POWER OF A NEUTRON STAR TO CREATE A BEAM SO POWERFUL IT WILL LIFT YOU THROUGH THE FORCE OF YOUR PLANETS GRAVITY FROM WHERE YOU SLEEP ACROSS THE LAND AND TO YOUR HUMANS HOUSE OF WAFFLES OR POSSIBLY MILTON KEYNES
Andrew Deacon@TheBreadmonkey @ApostateEnglishman Is there a Waffle House in Milton Keynes…the horror
@aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey Milton Keynes is an infinitely recurring grid structure from which there is no escape, because no matter which direction you head in you'll always end up back in the same place.
There are people who landed in Milton Keynes decades ago, and are still wandering the liminal space of identical red-brick houses to this day.
Ravensrod 🫖 🍰@ApostateEnglishman @aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey
Think it must have been designed by the same person who did the pedestrian underpasses at Birminghams bullring. I spent 6 months wandering through them one afternoon.
Think it must have been designed by the same person who did the pedestrian underpasses at Birminghams bullring. I spent 6 months wandering through them one afternoon.
Sparkling Cherry 🍾@ravensrod @ApostateEnglishman @aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey I went there once while on a quick trip. I haven't been seen since.
@ravensrod Milton Keynes sounds like one of the lands of the Fair Folk, where a human spends one night which is 100 years in the mundane world.
@aadeacon More like the other way around. You spend 100 years trying to escape, and when you are finaly rescued only one night has passed in the real world.
internetsdairy@aadeacon @ravensrod It does have more fae potential than many think... The main street, Midsummer Boulevard, is designed so the sun rises in line with it at the solstice. It's the brainchild of sixties hippies
David Cohen@aadeacon @ravensrod There is not much ‘fair’ in Milton Keynes.
surdfish@ApostateEnglishman @aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey
Managed to misread this as some reference to a school of economic thought. I have no desire to be disabused, I just enjoyed the writhing sensation in my skull for a few seconds.
Furbland's Very Cool Mastodon™@GroupNebula563 @aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey Kinda! Did you hear that Kane Parsons finally got round to making that long-rumoured movie version of his series?
It's out this month! 👇🏼
Baron Vonskinnback@ApostateEnglishman @aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey I accidentally drove into Milton Keynes once, it took me nearly 5 years to tunnel back out under the M1 and make my escape through Newport Pagnell, never again...
Heather@ApostateEnglishman @aadeacon @TheBreadmonkey I have to go there for work now and again and that description is exactly how it feels trying to leave.
Virginicus@ApostateEnglishman Thank you. I have encountered references to Milton Keynes in books and pop music, but have never quite figured it out.
Load average@ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey from this I deduce that Milton-Keynes is the british equivalent of Bakersfield California.
A place that is widely agreed to be ass but that people end up in for all the wrong reasons.
@laprice @TheBreadmonkey Yes. Here in the UK we also have Ilkeston, a town so culturally bereft that even the birds are sad.
Thousands of years ago, some malignant entity buried itself deep under what was to become Ilkeston, and has been sapping the joy from all above it ever since.
No-one in Ilkeston has ever smiled.
Nature Punk@ApostateEnglishman @laprice @TheBreadmonkey The main issue with Milton Keynes is every road claims to be a route out of the town only to mysteriously place you looking at a sign telling you the town centre is 2 miles ahead again.
There is a web around the town that that if you escape the inner circle seems determined to push you back towards the gravitational field at the centre.
It's an episode of The Twilight Zone as road planning.
Arratoon@naturepunk @ApostateEnglishman @laprice @TheBreadmonkey I’ve been there a couple of times. My favourite bit is the, ahem, ‘Theatre District’, which contains one (1) theatre.
Chloé Raccoon@naturepunk @ApostateEnglishman @laprice @TheBreadmonkey @PetraPhoenix I used to have a friend who lived in one of the villages that was swallowed up into MK.
Driving from the M1 to his house was one roundabout less then driving back.
To the same junction on the M1.
I never did work out where the extra roundabout inserted itself...
Driving from the M1 to his house was one roundabout less then driving back.
To the same junction on the M1.
I never did work out where the extra roundabout inserted itself...
Petra@ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey
Erm. I have deliberately gone to Milton Keynes.
@TheBreadmonkey @ApostateEnglishman
Look, it is where they keep my university. If it weren't for that I would never have gone there
Jules she/her@ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey I used to change coaches at Milton Keynes regularly as an undergrad going to and from university. I once opened a toilet cubicle door at the coach station to discover that someone had deposited a turd of truly gargantuan proportions actually on the toilet seat. As I have never had occasion to visit Milton Keynes beyond the coach station this remains my enduring mental image of the place.
Which is why I was particularly surprised to discover it was in the running for UK City of Culture 2029 https://www.milton-keynes.gov.uk/news/2026/milton-keynes-progresses-uk-city-culture-2029-bid
jamesb (MW1CGG)@jamesb @ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey it was in the early 2000s, in the women's toilets. So it probably wasn't yours if you're worried
@afewbugs @ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey Oh, I wasn't worried.
I was quite proud of it at the time too.
I was quite proud of it at the time too.
Jagna@ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey first time I saw this name I just assumed it was an early XX century American anthropologist or some shit. It has this ring to it.
Fragarach@ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey
I used to be able to teleport when I was a child. I'd fall asleep downstairs and wake up in bed in the morning. I miss being able to do that.
I used to be able to teleport when I was a child. I'd fall asleep downstairs and wake up in bed in the morning. I miss being able to do that.
@Fragarach @ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey My Vinted stuff teleports. I put it in an InPost locker and it disappears, only to reappear in another locker miles away.
@ApostateEnglishman @TheBreadmonkey
I used to find similar, but sometimes I would be missing the price of a pizza and there would be a discarded pizza box in the front room.
Impossible to say what happened
@TheBreadmonkey You are waffling again Ben, stop it before it ends in tears.
@TheBreadmonkey I want to see a film where Jeff Goldblum tests his teleport machine but a waffle accidentally gets in there with him
elverkonge@internetsdairy @TheBreadmonkey ah, the Brundlewaffle
Erin@TheBreadmonkey well you guys haven’t had a hurricane for a while, you don’t need the Waffle House