Top FEMA Official Claims He Teleported to Waffle House.
FEMA's Gregg Phillips says he has experienced multiple "scary" episodes of sudden teleportation: Phillips spoke "on multiple podcasts" about being teleported against his will, which he has...
https://jwz.org/b/yk4x
@jwz I love how one previously also contains: "I know that most of you don't read the Previouslies, but these are particularly apt:"
It's Previouslies all the way down!
New Waffle House Index GREEN: Restaurant open. Full menu available. Teleportation pod operational. YELLOW: Restaurant open in disaster mode, limited menu available. Teleportation may or may not work. RED: Restaurant closed. Cannot teleport to this location.
@jwz My mind wants to twist this into some sort of sequel to They're Made Out of Meat.
The thing that annoys me the most about this season of Legion -- and wow, there is a lot that annoys me about this season of Legion -- is the Waffle Boats. They sit across from each other! That's not how sushi boats work! It's a loop! Someone would have to crawl under the table every time! The dude with the cane would be like, "Really? You're gonna make me crawl under again? Let me sit on ...
@jwz Even taking the claims at face value, that means he's uniquely unsuited for a position where reliably contacting him at any time is an absolute requirement.
We don't even have to get to the debunking part.
Sounds like you didn't read the link. He may not be reliably contacted at any *place*, but he can be reliably contacted at any *time*, because he doesn't experience the passage of time during his teleportation. Must be hard on the cellular network infrastructure for cell service during those calls, though.
/s
I'll also point out that this is nowhere near the weirdest thing to happen in a Georgia Waffle House.
And per customary Waffle House disaster response rules, the time to worry isn't when FEMA personnel spontaneously teleport *to* a Waffle House, but rather when they spontaneously teleport *from* one.
I believe the technical name for that is alcohol induced blackout.
@jwz What's wild is the government tried to ban this substance associated with teleportation, and in fact did for 13 years.
Though many would have you not know the truth, this substance has a long history of causing teleportation to a local establishment such as Denny's, IHOP, or Whataburger. The substance is directly correlated to teleportation to establishments that are open 24 hours, or having compliant staff.
Some have even reported teleportation to ditches, cornfields (especially in the Midwest with a lack of 24 hour anything), and parking lots.
It seems to always be within the local region, although the phenomenon has some randomness. It is said that shortly before this teleportation, a person may have strange ideas or plans of what to do "after we blow this joint."
And Trump pretends not to be doing Distraction, Exploitation & Indictability - if you're dangerously incompetent enough, get past the casting couch, and look like a patsy then you've got a fair chance of getting a job far beyond your capabilities, helping destroy the United States of America while distracting from the Epstein Files.
Those are called blackouts, bro. They often involve Waffle House.
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