waffleJul 3
🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)

Are you a boy or a girl?
I'm nonbinary.

Yeah, but what were you born as?
A baby.

No, I mean what is your sex?
Awesome.

FFS! Do you have a penis or a vagina??
I've had my share of both.

OMFG!! WHAT IS IN YOUR PANTS??
A frankly disturbing number of lockpicks.

Jul 2 at 7:02amWeb
Show thread🏳️‍⚧️CameronJul 2
@alice Roguegender flavor
Show thread🏳️‍⚧️CameronJul 2
@alice we know you can pick lock but can you disarm trap?
Show threadLona TheartlavJul 2
@alice Why so many lockpicks tho? Youtube says all locks can be opened with a rake or a jiggler.
Show threadjanet (she/her)Jul 2
@theartlav @alice i have zero lockpicks in my pants and that is frankly disturbing to me
Show threadMagnus AhltorpJul 2
@theartlav @alice Not all of us are that skilled.
Show threadIshambard5d ago

@theartlav @alice

You have to first evoke the name of the LockPicking Lawyer first.

I hear that if you say his name three times, all MasterLocks just pop open.

Show thread🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)4d ago

@ishambard they heard I was coming and just jumped off the fences.

@theartlav

Show thread*sparkling anxiety* EvelynJul 2
@alice Just one more question:
Will you go out with me? 😉
Show threadBlue EmuJul 2
@alice Can't have enough lockpicks.
Show threadAprettyture!Jul 2
@alice opportunity to post this skit www.youtube.com/shorts/c44a3rfVMIU

-carrie
the stool sketch 💩

YouTube
Show threadMark Jul 2
@alice and that’s before they try to get their head around what a pansexual is 😂🤦🏻‍♂️
Show threadAgnieszka R. TurczyńskaJul 2
@alice "Could you show me your lock picks? 👉👈" 😉
Show threadLukas Kahwe SmithJul 2
@alice kudos for pants with pockets. every human deserves pockets on their pants. how else are we to move about with our lockpicks!?!
Show threadSammiJul 2
@alice 🤣
Show threadGilgwathJul 2

@alice What's in your pants? Business! What business? None of your business ! 🫠

I always wonder what they think this line of questioning will lead to. Just assuming they find out that your hardware is their prefered flavour. They just demonstrated that they are mostly interested in the superficialities of your body ... and now they expect you to drool over them? Puzzling!

Show threadAlienJul 2
@alice there's never a disturbing amount of lockpicks, it's never barely enough
Show threadLaux Myth (aka Martin)5d ago

@alien @alice
Well said. No tubular picks. Not sure if any lever lock picks. None for cruciforms.

Question asker really wants to know about little tools going into holes.

Show thread🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)4d ago

@lauxmyth tubular pick is in my bag. But there is a tubular tensioner and a probe. Also, those wires on the top left are lever picks. A standard wave rake works for cruciform locks, though I've never run into one outside of challenges.

@alien

Show threadLaux Myth (aka Martin)4d ago
@alice @alien
Oops. Yes those wires would work on levers. Some steering wheel clubs sold here have cruciform locks. I picked one but usually just drilled.
Show thread🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)4d ago

@lauxmyth ooo, I see you're a locksmith! (Love your banner photo, btw 🩷)

@alien

Show threadLaux Myth (aka Martin)4d ago
@alice @alien
Thanks. (Had to run to see what I had used.)
Show threadsaxnotJul 2
@alice why is it anyones business.
Nobody has the right to know about any other medical stat of mine so why do they feel entitled to know how my crotch looks like
Show threadsaxnotJul 2

@alice this feels more and more like a ploy to calculate how much respect they should have for you. So presumably they need to stay civil and respect you as a person because perhaps you're a man and thus equal in their eyes.

It's like people asking for occupation to calculate how much respect they have for you

Show threadCodey McCodefaceJul 2
@saxnot @alice "Hey, baby, what's your red blood cell count? Erythropoietin level? Cool, let's party!"
Show threadBakunin BoysJul 2
@alice a disturbing number of lockpicks? At this time of year at this time of day, in this part of the country, localised entirely within your 𝗣𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀?
Show threadWhiskey BottleJul 2
@bakuninboys @alice isn’t one lockpick a disturbing number of lockpicks? Do they break all the time like in Skyrim? I would think lockpick technology would have advanced to the point that one is sufficient.
Show threadDmian 🇪🇺Jul 2

@alice “Whats’a in your pants?”

“Wonderland”

😆

Show threadmr_harmJul 2
@alice right now I’d answer with swamp ass and get more gross if they still don’t get it 😅
Show threadBeige CatsWhoCodeJul 2
@alice can't believe people have the audacity to ask these questions 😤
Show threadBeige CatsWhoCodeJul 2
@alice someone on my old instance called me a slur so I banned their account, though  BWAHAHAHA
Show threadfaggioJul 2
@alice Who cares what is in your pants?
Show threadOzzelotJul 2
@alice
My pants contain an assortment of old electronics, often with some #BonkWave
Show thread4censord Jul 2
@alice
Show threadgettie  🇵🇸 Jul 2
@4censord @alice
that reminds me of that thing i wrote in the past:

Are you a boy or a girl?
i'm a cat  

But what's in your pants?
a gun! 
Show threadReid  Jul 2
@gettie @alice @4censord a cat with a gat, ready to blast some fools
Show threadFloppaJul 2
@gettie @4censord @alice nyarrr, I'm a cat too, and I have a gun in my pants, plus some fags, nyar nyar nyar!
Show threadgettie  🇵🇸 Jul 2
@Floppa i know you probably meant "cigs", but avoid using the f-word whenever possible. thanks.  
@4censord @alice
Show threadFloppaJul 2
@gettie @4censord @alice nyarrr, that's Pinko's fault, he's got me using his anglo boomer vocab. Sorry, Gettie, of course I meant cigs. And I've got booze too! Nyarr nyar nyar
Show threadgettie  🇵🇸 Jul 2
@Floppa no worries, i'm just letting you know to avoid further confusion, or any other issues 
Show threadgkrnoursJul 2
@alice my english teacher (I'm french) told us english people use it for small babies because they are little angels and angel have no gender
Show threadSnyperWolfJul 2
@alice
OMFG!! WHAT IS IN YOUR PANTS??
Hand sanitizer, poop bags, and key fobs to various dog parks. Why?
Show threadKookie 🍪🇵🇸Jul 2

@alice cute date idea: cuddling and picking each others' locks

(that sounds like a euphemism but no I really would just like to get more lock-picking practice 😅)

Show threadTockJul 2
@alice
Show threadGabriele Marcosanti Jul 2
@alice "Are you happy to see me or do you have some lockpicks in your pants?"
"Nope. I have a #gravy can in the pocket."
Show threadOrange Lantern  Jul 2
@alice I want to like this more than once 
Show threadPia Herself Jul 2

@alice My favorite is that Halo (?) comic.

What's in your pants?

Doom.

https://www.reddit.com/r/halo/comments/oqtw4o/yeah_but_whats_in_your_pants/

Show threadsi2mevJul 2

@alice In the theater piece "would you love me, if I was a girl?" Leendert talks about Hermaphrodita. That Greek story is beautiful. There was a small replica of her statue. If you look closely you can see a penis on the person.

If we accept everybody is different, life would be so much easier.

https://femaleeconomy.nl/zoujevanmijhouden

Show threadThe Sleight Doctor 🃏Jul 2

@alice 🥰

Hey Alice, you wanna free book? This one demystifies Harry Houdini, probably the world's most famous defeater of locks, chains, vaults and anything else designed to keep people out...or in.

Spoiler alert: while he was genuinely an expert lockpicker, he also couldn't risk reputation-damaging failure in front of large audiences, and so often cheated by tampering with the mechanisms. But this is still a fascinating read.

Enjoy!

https://archive.org/details/secretsofhoudini0000cann/page/n5/mode/1up

The secrets of Houdini : Cannell, J. C. (John Clucas) : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

279 p., [8] p. of plates : 24 cm

Internet Archive
Show threadKaede🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈♀️Jul 2
@alice yea incall them penius inspectors
Show threadJhooperJul 2
@alice "What's in your pants?"
"Doom"
Show threadApicultor 🐝Jul 2
@alice Jeez, if only I was half as smooth as this.
Show threadcrazyeddieJul 2
@alice I don't wear genes.
Show threadDewey Ritten Jul 2

@alice

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

Nope.