I would like to point out the utter stupidity of primary care, where I am for a fucking asthma attack, the only masked one of fucking course.
Other people are here for / with respiratory infections.
At least if I could choose my method of death, it wouldn't be asphyxiation. Or not on my own lung juices anyway.
If healthcare staff have a cough, SEND THEM HOME ON FULL-PAY, YOU DUMBASSES.
No, I don't care if they have asthma or COPD. It does not bring down my stress levels in the slightest to hear coughing, amid "seasonal" illness peak spread.
Pay them to stay away. This is so fucking stupid.
But generally yes, this will help with -- fucking bizarrely?!? -- pathogen spread?
But if dumb fucks can't be bothered to cover face holes for the sake of not killing and maiming people subjected to their presence, clearly I'm asking too much.
Yes I am angry.
If my family, partner, and friends refuse to mask in public, why do I even fucking bother?
Oh yeah! Cuz being sick SUCKS. I know people are children in trenchcoats, pretending they're safe drivers to preserve their undeserved egos, but I doubt many WANT to contract any illnesses.
Even the ones who do, I'd posit that desire is itself fucked up.
Not to mention the... Idk... Not wanting to risk other people's health since they can't consent in advance to me not wearing one?
Not wanting to risk the health of anyone else stuck with them as a carer.
But also honestly, I mask as a fuck you, even harder every single time someone verbally harasses me for it.
Even if they could consent to me not wearing a mask in advance: fuck you, that's stupid.
Wear a goddamn respirator because you're not a toddler and you can understand cause and effect.
Fucking protect other people and yourself or just die. (Because that's what you're risking ffs!
Also disability, but who cares about that? We treat crops so fucking well you need not fret!)
alright, I do have to repeal some of the congealing anger.
I did get antibiotics, more prednisolone, a walk-in X ray referral, and BELIEVED when they observed I can speak in full sentences etc and I said "I'm compensating a lot rn."
Still angry, still losing it, still not here by choice. But fine. Today COULD have been more shit.
#spoonie #SpoonieLife #SpoonTheory #LimitedEnergy #EnergyLimit #NoEnergy #Exhausted #ExhaustedSuddenlyLongCovid #MECFS #LongCovid #ChronicIllness
Now done torturing myself.
Time to torture myself. Linux Mint Cinnamon, make 3D vtuber model work. Go!
https://gist.github.com/BenKato151/b8b4a6897cc6cc7835ac9107288d3df2
I hate this so much.
One: good for German speakers, and I understand not all languages will map onto others, but I'm not certain Bruno Bettelheim does (did?).
Why swap to 'his' after that? I hate everything.
Two: fuck you, not every 'it' is gender-neutral. No, IDGAF if you disagree.
You're wrong, unless you happen to have met every single person and being throughout time who uses 'it' as its pronoun, and every single one agreed that it was gender-neutral like every other one, then you're wrong.
IDGAF if that's "too tumblr". I care about correcting pointless bullshit because it's all fucking sounds that don't matter. Fucking dumbass cis het bullshit.
Say the sound that describes someone respectfully. This is not hard, asshole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg73J-5xbj0
... anyway.
Three: how the hell is the Id / SuperEgo shit not IMMEDIATELY likened to homeostasis, ffs?
Id is self needs.
SuperEgo is group needs.
Ego is balance the pulls.
HOW IS THIS HARD.
Four: ohhh my fucccckking goddddd I hate the ageism in this so fucking much.
Children are not stupid.
Children are not irrational.
Children are not to be contained for their own good.
Children are new to existence. Being new does not mean every decision is wrong. What is this patriarchal, hierarchical, Do As I Say nonsense?
the FUCK do you mean "unresponsive to demands of reality or social mores"?
You tried EXPLAINING any of that in age-accessible terms?
You tried understanding, empathising, and helping them process their needs in context?
You tried uh, super terrible idea here I know...
being a decent fucking self-aware being about it?
You can do it! I promise you! It's possible!
I know it's to get people to grasp the idea but "the inner child / devil on your shoulder" is a gods-awful way to characterise your bodily needs, ffs.
Do you want dysphoria and trauma? Because this is how you give dysphoria and trauma.
christ alive. If this wasn't part of the studying, I wouldn't bother with this shit.
the superego is not the 'angel on your shoulder'. You are not bad for having needs. Your group of people is not inherently good. Your needs are not inherently bad.
"Socially acceptable" does not mean good, moral, correct, healthy, desirable, or sustainable.
I completely disagree that the SuperEgo comes from voices of authority in your childhood. I didn't "raise myself" the way some people claim (and some probably did, idfk!). But I did CONSTANTLY push back on the bullshit of authority figures because they frequently lied, mistreated me, were wilfully cruel, and justified this shit with random excuses in hopes I'd shut up and just accept it.
So my superego [sic] might well be stubborn adherence to "fuck you; follow your own principles or fuck right off."
And how would THAT be any less valid that 'lol, dumb shit; your brain says do what your Elders told you'?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6oUHaLCc_U
oh hey, that thing I was saying in https://lgbtqia.space/@MxVerda/113833015444114328
Mx Verda