Diana
Senator Meowwhen I first ran D&D, my grandmother, who had bought fully into the IT'S SATANISM hype, insisted on sitting and watching the first session
about an hour in, she threw her hands up and yelled 'THIS IS JUST MATH' and stormed off
whoa this popped off unexpectedly today, keep current with my thoughts at https://open.substack.com/pub/senatormeow?utm_source=mastodon
Chris [list of emoji]Weirdly enough, my oneliner response is also getting attention but my instance no longer follows the thread back so I'm getting lots of faves and boosts for a year(s)-old post with no visible-to-me context.
@suetanvil yeah I don't really know what we did to deserve this lol
Mx. Gang Weed
Lord Guysbert de Fieri 
@senatormeow this is the absolute best reaction anecdote to a game of D&D I have ever and will ever read or hear in my LIFE
altglo knzksaw@senatormeow IM CACKLING
@dayglochainsaw idk what she expected
like I was gonna open the Fiend Folio and start binding a flumph to my will or something
@senatormeow what fundamentalists expect D&D to be like: the evil "dungeon master" must force the players to commit horrific acts in submission to his satanic will
What D&D is actually like:
DM: You can't... you can't fucking cross the river by seducing it. You just can't. I'm begging you not to do this.
Player: *rolls a nat 20* I SUCCESSFULLY SEDUCE THE RIVER
moved to @@dayglochainsaw @senatormeow ~the river joins your party~
Butthole Jones (@[email protected])
9.34K Toots, 156 Following, 706 Followers · NEVER LOG OFF / Ace of Swords / shitpost King / piss bastard of hell earth / i do not give a Frick Bomb Every Jungle /
Riley 
@dayglochainsaw The river nymph rises from the waters and carries you across the river on her back. She then tosses you a seashell mouthing "Call me"
𝖎𝖒𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖆𝖑 𝖆𝖕𝖊@dayglochainsaw @senatormeow uh exCUSE ME but in D&D, RAW, you can't critically succeed or fail a skill check
Aleen Simms@senatormeow OMG is it okay if I take a screenshot of this and share it elsewhere? I'll link back here.
@aleen lmao sure
Programmer 832-529 🍅@senatormeow math is just satanism with less fancy candles
Thorgrit Anvilvorge@senatormeow as I've heard elsewhere, it's not unlike bingo, where one person shouts numbers and other people get excited over them
Ricardus@senatormeow Well.. math plus Satan.
nin@senatormeow Wait, math isn't considered satanism anymore?
Space·Time Will Tell@senatormeow Technically, it's arithmetics and a bit of combinatorial theory :)
Wilfried Klaebe@Yoric And probably Game Theory. 😏
Bob Mottram 🔧 ☕ ✅@senatormeow Satan has all the best math
mDuo13 📖@senatormeow Sorry to hear about your grandmother's disappointment. Sounded like she was pretty enthusiastic about trying out the Satanism thing, too.
Farî@senatormeow Math + accounting
NewieNoDriver@senatormeow Maths is the Devils work
Corvak@senatormeow our nerdy secrets, exposed!
Kitsune Teej@senatormeow MATH IS THE DEVIL!
juv3nal@senatormeow MATH = SATANISM confirmed
tcha@senatormeow I would be disappointed too.
Sandra Regina@senatormeow - how disappointing. lol
Erica "digifox" Kovac 🌐⚛️⚡@senatormeow this makes me so happy
Blort™ 🐀Ⓥ🥋☣️
Haelwenn /элвэн/ 
@senatormeow and now the calculus for drawing a pentragram are made, mwahahah.
Emi [Moved]@senatormeow Conclusion: Math is Satanism
David de Groot 𓆉@senatormeow Ah, so she was not incorrect in her initial thoughts then ;-)
TheOuterLinux ✅@senatormeow Satan only gives instructions as Dungeon Master when you play Led Zeppelin records backwards.
It's well known that D&D is the gateway into accounting.
JWcph, Radicalized By Decency@senatormeow Satan's greatest accomplishment was wrapping His evil message in math to make it look boring 😂
Alien🍉@senatormeow at first I thought this was going to be a wholesome post about a granny joining the D&D session, but this output makes me happy as well
@alien oh no she was incredibly bored by it
David Penfold 
@senatormeow @alien As was my girlfriend. I'd have weekly AD&D sessions with the boys every Friday and she'd come round and do her homework in a huff.
I don't really blame her in retrospect, it was a three mile bus journey 😬
Paul Drye
Robotistry"Homework, The Game"
- Mabel Pines, Gravity Falls season 2, episode 13: "Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons"
Leon Cowle@senatormeow @uastronomer This actually made me laugh out loud! 😂 Thank you!
echarlie@senatormeow Math is Satanism confirmed
Third spruce tree on the leftI ran a D&D session for my peacenick college professor aunt and uncle one time. First encounter they get jumped by some kind of ogre or something a lvl1 could handle. "He lunges at you menacingly. What do you do?"
"I negotiate. Clearly we have tresspassed some how and I'd like to parley to make amends."
What? I couldn't convince them to fight. All conflict was resolved through negotiation or if all else failed was surrendered or avoided.
Hardest DM work I've ever done.
Citoyen européen Ray Hindle ✔️@senatormeow Does that mean it's “The Devil's Arithmetic?”
Ame the Squirrel 
@senatormeow I should have known math leads to satanism.
Elfbiter@senatormeow Good for her to actually willing to find out what was really going on.
TrashBoatSo she was right. Math is the devil
Ami Angelwings@senatormeow @waitworry this was my reaction to baseball but without the storming off
Víctor 💊👨⚕️🌃 ahobizi👄@senatormeow which edition? XD
@Farmaspartato oh god this was decades ago. borrowed copies of 3rd or 3.5 maybe
@senatormeow I can relate her reaction 😂
Markus Hofer@senatormeow as soon as she was out the door you were done rolling all the characters and THAT's when the satanism started...
@col000r I did say something like "alright so who is ready to learn REAL magic," yes
Kit Rhett Aultman@senatormeow My first copy of D&D was a first edition. I grew up in a rural town without even much broadcast TV, so my parents played a lot of board games with friends. They'd heard D&D was some sort of "party game", so they bought it and never got past character creation (too much math and stats). I found it in the back of the games cabinet and was transfixed. It was only later the Satanic Panic would visit my hometown.
J.H.NoyesIt's the debil's maths, tho.
Ana Viñuela@senatormeow your story reminded me to this ridiculously funny news story about a flight that got delayed because someone was doing maths in a plane and someone else though that was suspicious 😁
Richard W. Woodley ELBOWS UP 🇨🇦🌹🚴♂️📷 🗺️I hear there are some pretty dodgy equations going around.
Paul McO'Smith III@AnaVinuela @senatormeow that's glorious! my only disappointment is that they didn't tell us what the equation was!!!