The easiest way to have control of your email is probably to buy a domain name (such as example.com) and then use this on an account from an independent email provider.

If you're ever unhappy with a provider, you can switch to a different one without changing your email address because the domain still belongs to you.

There are lots of independent email providers, all of them let you use your own domain. For example @Tutanota, @fastmail and @protonmail are very popular.

#GrowYourOwn

p.s. It is technically possible to also set up your own email server, but apparently it is a lot more tricky than one might think:

https://social.growyourown.services/@homegrown/108555028721713290

(In summary, almost everyone with experience of it felt it wasn't worth the hassle for non-technical people.)

By using an existing email provider with your own domain, you can avoid the technical hassles while still having the option of changing providers in the future.

Grow Your Own Services 🌱 (@[email protected])

Does anyone here have experience of running their own email instance? Would you say it is viable for a non-technical individual to run their own email service? Do you have any lessons to pass on? #AskFedi #AskFediverse #AskTheFediverse

social.growyourown.services
@homegrown I administrated email services for one company, and ran spam filtering front end mail servers for incoming email for another. I would run the spam filtering again at the drop of a hat if anyone asked me to, but even if you're an expert you're dedicating hours of everyday to managing mail services responsibly. For a single family or single person they would not need to apply the same intensity in support, but it would still be borderline whether it was worth it if they knew what they were doing and had experience. Getting your own domain and applying that to an account at Tuta or contracting the service is probably a better use of your time and money.

@wbpeckham

Thanks, that seems to tally with other people's experiences!

@homegrown Oof. Reading that thread, I'm less scared of the "technical" challenges and more of the time investment needed to keep it running smoothly. Doesn't really seem like most individuals would "break even" on that time investment unless they were setting up email for more than themselves.

Yes, @homegrown , I agree!

I've been running an email server for my family and sometimes for some friends for many years (decades).

But now, I am fed up with how this demands chunks of my time.

Installing and maintaining spam fighting measures is a pain in the ass, and to get Microsoft's mail servers to accept our mail is like a fight against windmills.

I've had enough of it and will put handling our email into professional hands soon.

@CiscoJunkie @wbpeckham

@homegrown I see a lot of people who recommend against spinning your own services for email. I'm curious, why? I'm considering setting up a full suite of stuff and having email be part of that.

@CiscoJunkie

Yeah, I was just considering doing a follow-up reply about that! 😁

I asked for advice a while back from people who ran their own email instances, here's what they said:

https://social.growyourown.services/@homegrown/108555028721713290

(In summary, most felt it wasn't worth the hassle, especially for non-technical people.)

Grow Your Own Services 🌱 (@[email protected])

Does anyone here have experience of running their own email instance? Would you say it is viable for a non-technical individual to run their own email service? Do you have any lessons to pass on? #AskFedi #AskFediverse #AskTheFediverse

social.growyourown.services

@homegrown Ah, much appreciated! I'm reasonably technical, so I'll have to dive into the tradeoffs to see if it's worth it.

I'm also hosting some services on a residential connection at the moment, and I remember a lot of service providers (at least used to) block SMTP outbound. That might ultimately be the determining factor for me.

@CiscoJunkie @homegrown i can only echo what people said there.

i am a technical person, and i am all for self-hosting stuff and a proper decentralized web. but i have a cheap privacy focused email hoster which offers everything i need, and i do absolutely nothing. of course with my own domain on top.

@meisterdieb @CiscoJunkie @homegrown I ran my own mail server for years but gave up many years ago when fighting spam became too much work. And that was before so many servers made it almost impossible for small servers to deliver mail reliably to them.

@CiscoJunkie @homegrown It's not just a technical issue, even if you do everything right, there's still high chance that you have to continuously send support emails to Microsoft/Google so they stop greylisting you once again, since somebody from the same IP block did something stupid.

Though hosting your own imap/pop server and getting the smtp part from a provider works pretty well.

@CiscoJunkie
Residential IP Adresse often have a reputation which does get them flagged.
So running your mail servers of certain IP ranges will fail.
@homegrown

@homegrown @CiscoJunkie

I haven't dug through all the replies. But an big thing they do not touch upon is mailer domain reputation.

The big email providers/handlers do not really like tiny players. The big ones, like Google or Microsoft apply reputations. If your volume is too low, you will not get a positive reputation. This could lead to your email getting marked as spam (or delayed and even discarded), even though your DKIM, DMARC, SPF, etc. is 100%.

@homegrown @CiscoJunkie

It is rather ironic as a lot of (forum/account) spammers use gmail, outlook, yahoo email addresses.

@elmuerte @homegrown @CiscoJunkie Yep, over 95 per cent on our spammersʼ blacklist is Gmail.

@jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie

Makes you wonder if Google/MS have other reasons for blocking smaller providers... 🤔

@homegrown @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie Oligopolies love crowding out others, as they have always done in every other market. If only antitrust legislation had been enforced over the last few decades, though Iʼm glad to see the US finally move on Big Tech.
@homegrown @jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie
I run my own mail server at home.
I was surprised that Microsoft didn't blocked my emails. One day only it was blocked because I use a residential Ip. But since 2 month it's fine.
Gmail isn't a problem too.
You can't be sure that your email will be delivered. Even you use Microsoft or Gmail.
Of course, you must have SPF or DKIM.

@lautre
But you are not on a dynamic ip range, right?

@homegrown @jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie

@mwfc @homegrown @jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie
Yeah, static public IP.
Dynamic IP is the worst case, and will be better use a VPN
@lautre Been on a dynamic IP for years, and DDNS has handled my needs fine.
@homegrown
Question is whether spammers adapted and how it would look like if it was not enforced.
So it is a mixed bag and not having to deal with huge amounts of inexperienced mail admins might be worth it.
@jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie
@CiscoJunkie @homegrown you end up needing backup mx services, and if there’s any issues with own server you’re fire fighting it, and usually at weekends/holidays cos it never fails on a quiet Tuesday. At worst use the email bundled with hosting, but prefer to use separate so don’t need to shift email when shifting hosting. Long long time made it someone else’s problem basically as everyone expects it to work 24/7

@jonbradbury @homegrown Yeah, email has become such a core method of communication that I don't think I'd want to have to worry about a personal on-call to keep it running smoothly. 😆

Currently I'm serving up a few things that are much less critical (notes, media), and my worst case scenario for this breaking is "my friends can't watch the shitty movies on my server." I think I'd like to keep things at that level.

@CiscoJunkie @homegrown yep used to be part of the day job. The moment I could offload it to someone else’s problem was a good thing. Even my personal stuff I just pay Google workspace, it’s £50 a year for just works thank you very much
@CiscoJunkie @homegrown Uptime is what scares me. How long would it take you to notice if the server has an issue? Would you even be able to fix it right away?
It’s almost certainly not cheaper either.

@Robin_Van_Ee @homegrown I do basic monitoring on my personal infrastructure, so my self-SLA is acceptable to me.

That said, you've hopefully seen the other replies and comments about the time sink not being worth it. Monitoring is a problem I can solve for; maintaining a good sender reputation and dealing with ongoing threat management doesn't sound like a great use of my personal time.

@CiscoJunkie @homegrown If you get a black ip you won’t be able to sent to any of the big ones.
@homegrown
i did exactly that with @protonmail and i am very happy. had my own mailserver before but it was too much work.
@homegrown @kleb @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail You can associate a domain name with an iCloud account. I know it’s an option for us.
@jgordon @homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail I personally use Proton for this. Works great.
@homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail
But before you use Protonmail, be aware they won't let you use your preferred email client, but only what they offer you.
No IMAP. No Thunderbird, no K9Mail.
@kleines_z @homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail a tiny correction: normal mail applications only through their (proprietary?) local proxy application.
@homegrown a bonus tip from someone who’s done this: be conscious of your custom domain’s extension. A lot of validation won’t accept newer endings. My .computer gets rejected depressingly often.

@briantific

Good point, thanks!

If a domain works on one email provider, is there a chance it won't work on another provider? Or is it an "all or nothing" situation?

@homegrown @briantific It's more services that you might sign up for reject the domain as not valid.
@homegrown oh sorry - I mean using it day to day filling out forms for accounts, stores - stuff like that. No trouble on the provider side (protonmail)!

@briantific

Ahh, gotcha! Okay, so slightly older TLDs might work better as services have had time to notice their existence?

@homegrown sounds reasonably probable but I don’t have any personal experience with anything but .com and .computer
@homegrown If you switch, what happens to your old emails? I suppose people can archive everything locally over IMAP or POP3, but even for people who have the technical capability to do so, it often seems like a lot of hassle

@jawnsy

Good point.

Some services support importing emails, but not all. It would be something to check when deciding on a provider.

For example @fastmail supports importing old emails:

https://www.fastmail.help/hc/en-us/articles/360058753594-Import-your-mail

Import your mail

Fastmail can import your email from any other provider that supports IMAP, MBOX, or EML files. Email import tool Cancel import Import report Import MBOX files Import EML files Gmail server details...

Fastmail

@homegrown @jawnsy @fastmail
Agreed, don't host your own SMTP server: get the experts (e.g. @beasts) to do that.

But nothing prevents you running your own IMAP server as a homegrown email archive. Strictly speaking IMAPS, as I use dovecote with a Let's Encrypt certificate.

An email client like @thunderbird lets you create IMAP profiles for your old account, your new one and your home archive. You can then move your existing email between them as required.

@jawnsy @homegrown I recently moved my mail hosting (under my vanity domain) from Google Workspace to Fastmail. Fastmail has an importer that’s basically fire-and-forget.

If you move to a service that doesn’t have an importer, doing it by hand would be tedious but possible.

@homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail warning: this can be a gateway drug however. You start thinking 'oh, I'll just have one domain for my email' then five years later you own a dozen domains forwarding to your main email, some of which are jokes you've forgotten the punchline to, but you'll keep renewing them all anyway.

Custom domains. Not even once.

@iMeddles

There was a trending post the other day saying the Fediverse was just a way to sell more domain names 😁

@homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail

I actually just did this with robotlove.dev, as I wanted a place to write a dev log. While I still haven't gotten around to posting anything, I do appreciate that I can have a provider-independent email address.

@homegrown

I'd suggest adding PurelyMail to the list of providers. For better or worse, configuration is more hands-on than anyone else on your list but it's cheap and there's no fee for extra domains.

And you can set up wildcard alias for your email addresses, so you can just add whatever junk you want to the end of your address when you sign up at a sketchy site and block that address when necessary.

@homegrown Great advice, Iʼve been doing this since 1995, with three or four providers. Since 2012, itʼs been #Zoho. Donʼt know how they compare with the others but Iʼve found it worth paying for.
@homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail @pronoiac I’ve had my own email domain for probably 20 years and have moved it several times (currently at iCloud, with GoDaddy as registrar because I’ve never had a problem with them). It’s absolutely the best way to do things.

@homegrown

Or use something like https://www.pobox.com/ to forward to other email providers. Especially useful when you can't convince the people on your domain to decide on one email provider.

Pobox.com Lifetime Email

Pobox
@homegrown I'm on protonmail with a couple domains and inboxes. Quite happy with it.
@homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail I'm cheap and not super security concious, so I just Polaris Mail m'self
@homegrown @Tutanota @fastmail @protonmail Any thoughts specifically on spam filtering on the various hosted mail providers? I currently have my domain’s email at the same place I use for website hosting, but spam filtering seemed almost random, with a huge amount of mail I actually wanted going to spam, and also a huge amount of spam making it to my inbox. I can handle occasional spam in my inbox, but good mail going to spam almost non-stop is just not OK. Looking for a better solution.

@abulsme

I don't know, it would probably need a proper comparison to be done by some tech journalists?

I have used a few indie providers and they've all been okay about spam, but obviously that's just for my account. I don't know how well it works for other people.

@homegrown Yeah, I’d love to see that analysis. Right now that would be the only thing that would make a move worth the pain of actually migrating the accounts for my whole family to a new provider. I actually just turned off spam filtering entirely because I was constantly losing good mail (which even got deleted if I didn’t remove it from spam in a timely fashion), but now of course I’m being deluged with spam in my inbox.