The easiest way to have control of your email is probably to buy a domain name (such as example.com) and then use this on an account from an independent email provider.
If you're ever unhappy with a provider, you can switch to a different one without changing your email address because the domain still belongs to you.
There are lots of independent email providers, all of them let you use your own domain. For example @Tutanota, @fastmail and @protonmail are very popular.
p.s. It is technically possible to also set up your own email server, but apparently it is a lot more tricky than one might think:
https://social.growyourown.services/@homegrown/108555028721713290
(In summary, almost everyone with experience of it felt it wasn't worth the hassle for non-technical people.)
By using an existing email provider with your own domain, you can avoid the technical hassles while still having the option of changing providers in the future.
Does anyone here have experience of running their own email instance? Would you say it is viable for a non-technical individual to run their own email service? Do you have any lessons to pass on? #AskFedi #AskFediverse #AskTheFediverse
Yes, @homegrown , I agree!
I've been running an email server for my family and sometimes for some friends for many years (decades).
But now, I am fed up with how this demands chunks of my time.
Installing and maintaining spam fighting measures is a pain in the ass, and to get Microsoft's mail servers to accept our mail is like a fight against windmills.
I've had enough of it and will put handling our email into professional hands soon.
Grow Your Own Services 🌱
Ryan Clough 
Andreas, DJ3EI, he/him