The easiest way to have control of your email is probably to buy a domain name (such as example.com) and then use this on an account from an independent email provider.

If you're ever unhappy with a provider, you can switch to a different one without changing your email address because the domain still belongs to you.

There are lots of independent email providers, all of them let you use your own domain. For example @Tutanota, @fastmail and @protonmail are very popular.

#GrowYourOwn

@homegrown I see a lot of people who recommend against spinning your own services for email. I'm curious, why? I'm considering setting up a full suite of stuff and having email be part of that.

@CiscoJunkie

Yeah, I was just considering doing a follow-up reply about that! 😁

I asked for advice a while back from people who ran their own email instances, here's what they said:

https://social.growyourown.services/@homegrown/108555028721713290

(In summary, most felt it wasn't worth the hassle, especially for non-technical people.)

Grow Your Own Services 🌱 (@[email protected])

Does anyone here have experience of running their own email instance? Would you say it is viable for a non-technical individual to run their own email service? Do you have any lessons to pass on? #AskFedi #AskFediverse #AskTheFediverse

social.growyourown.services

@homegrown Ah, much appreciated! I'm reasonably technical, so I'll have to dive into the tradeoffs to see if it's worth it.

I'm also hosting some services on a residential connection at the moment, and I remember a lot of service providers (at least used to) block SMTP outbound. That might ultimately be the determining factor for me.

@CiscoJunkie @homegrown i can only echo what people said there.

i am a technical person, and i am all for self-hosting stuff and a proper decentralized web. but i have a cheap privacy focused email hoster which offers everything i need, and i do absolutely nothing. of course with my own domain on top.

@meisterdieb @CiscoJunkie @homegrown I ran my own mail server for years but gave up many years ago when fighting spam became too much work. And that was before so many servers made it almost impossible for small servers to deliver mail reliably to them.

@CiscoJunkie @homegrown It's not just a technical issue, even if you do everything right, there's still high chance that you have to continuously send support emails to Microsoft/Google so they stop greylisting you once again, since somebody from the same IP block did something stupid.

Though hosting your own imap/pop server and getting the smtp part from a provider works pretty well.

@CiscoJunkie
Residential IP Adresse often have a reputation which does get them flagged.
So running your mail servers of certain IP ranges will fail.
@homegrown

@homegrown @CiscoJunkie

I haven't dug through all the replies. But an big thing they do not touch upon is mailer domain reputation.

The big email providers/handlers do not really like tiny players. The big ones, like Google or Microsoft apply reputations. If your volume is too low, you will not get a positive reputation. This could lead to your email getting marked as spam (or delayed and even discarded), even though your DKIM, DMARC, SPF, etc. is 100%.

@homegrown @CiscoJunkie

It is rather ironic as a lot of (forum/account) spammers use gmail, outlook, yahoo email addresses.

@elmuerte @homegrown @CiscoJunkie Yep, over 95 per cent on our spammersʼ blacklist is Gmail.

@jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie

Makes you wonder if Google/MS have other reasons for blocking smaller providers... 🤔

@homegrown @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie Oligopolies love crowding out others, as they have always done in every other market. If only antitrust legislation had been enforced over the last few decades, though Iʼm glad to see the US finally move on Big Tech.
@homegrown @jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie
I run my own mail server at home.
I was surprised that Microsoft didn't blocked my emails. One day only it was blocked because I use a residential Ip. But since 2 month it's fine.
Gmail isn't a problem too.
You can't be sure that your email will be delivered. Even you use Microsoft or Gmail.
Of course, you must have SPF or DKIM.

@lautre
But you are not on a dynamic ip range, right?

@homegrown @jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie

@mwfc @homegrown @jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie
Yeah, static public IP.
Dynamic IP is the worst case, and will be better use a VPN
@lautre Been on a dynamic IP for years, and DDNS has handled my needs fine.
@homegrown
Question is whether spammers adapted and how it would look like if it was not enforced.
So it is a mixed bag and not having to deal with huge amounts of inexperienced mail admins might be worth it.
@jackyan @elmuerte @CiscoJunkie