jasondotjsonSep 2, 2023
Low Quality Facts

Here's some helpful Mastodon tips:

1. Boost posts to let that user know you are hungry and would like for them to make you a grilled cheese.

2. Do not follow anyone named Kevin. Kevins are shunned here.

3. Tell us about yourself! Write your height, weight, and combat experience in your bio so others have at least a vague idea of how they would fare against you in the octagon.

Sep 2, 2023 at 3:00pmWeb
Show threadAlan StainerSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Can I have a grilled cheese now?
Show threadThird spruce tree on the leftSep 2, 2023
@alanstainer @lowqualityfacts I have +5 Culinary bonus with favored Grilled Cheese class, and a +10 against nazis and Jordan Peterson. Invulnerable to anti-woke ideology but am highly susceptible to cheese, beer and Dorito based attack damage.
Show threadCaseyTheOkayestSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Rumor has it there’s a combat Kevin who makes a bombass grilled cheese
Show threadSquidAceBoiSep 27, 2023
@CaseyWrites @lowqualityfacts we must find this man!!
Show threadCaseyTheOkayestSep 27, 2023
@sarahbi @lowqualityfacts Immediately
Show threadJosh (like the wine)Sep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Unfollowing @kevin, per rule 2.
Show threadKevinSep 2, 2023
@joshua @lowqualityfacts
Show threadKevinSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts hey!
Show threadToddSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts boosted
Show threadBenjamin HendricksSep 2, 2023
@whatstheruckus @lowqualityfacts whole wheat or white?
Show threadToddSep 2, 2023
@hndrcks @lowqualityfacts I've lost track of the thread. Are we talking about wine? I'll try whole wheat but isn't that going to just taste like flat beer?
Show thread🏳️‍🌈Superdave! 😘🍷👨‍🦯Sep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts ROTFL!
Show threadBrian WooleySep 2, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

6’3” 215 lbs. #Obviously

Show threadmasukomiSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts 🤔 should i include combat experience in TTRPGs? I might have trouble coming up with a good number for rats and goblin's slain over the years.
Show threadHighlandLawyerSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Uh-huh, not giving you details for 3. Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Hang on, I'll come in again
Show threadFratm Sep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Boosting for a grilled cheese.
Show threadBram Diederik aka daft_dutchSep 2, 2023

@lowqualityfacts please dont boost me.

I dont know how to make grilled cheese

Show threadTeflonTroutSep 2, 2023
@bdiederik @lowqualityfacts very impressive given the instructions are all in the name!
Show threadBram Diederik aka daft_dutchSep 2, 2023
@TeflonTrout @lowqualityfacts I mean not while making it a lethal weapon.
Show threadDoctor LURKSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts this is just what a self-pitying Kevin would say to try and elicit sympathy from the masses!
Show threadKanaMaunaSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Boosted. It’s a too early for lunch so please just give me scrambled eggs and toast
Show threadLyle Solla-YatesSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Unfortunately this has led to a number of Kevins renaming their accounts while continuing to comport themselves as “total Kevins”
Show threadYour favourite boosterSep 2, 2023

@lowqualityfacts
If you mention grilled cheese one more time I will floor Kevin with my 95kg backflip double axe roundhouse chokehold!

(NB: this is a promise, not a threat)

Show threadmokuSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I love the smell of low quality facts in the morning
Show thread🇨🇦 TRH 🇨🇦Sep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Show threadLafncow Sep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
4. Toots, Boosts, Borps, and Wonks are all encouraged. Boops are forbidden.
Show threadAltoSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Syrup on grill cheese rules the world!!!
Show threadPxl PhileSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts TBH we do not talk about the Kevin situation since The Incident™
Show threadkevin koniSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts it’s true
Show thread🇨🇦Sep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
When I read this, I begin to wonder if I am doing Mastodon correctly.
Show threadPavlo KomisarovSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I need some cheese, vegan one!
Show threadTeflonTroutSep 2, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Huh. 6'2", 235, 3 deployment tours, but zero hand-to-hand experience. I'm more of a ranged fighter than a melee, so your odds are better than you think.
Show threadIsho'yeSep 2, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

1. I like my cheese toasties done with mayo in place of butter. Real egg mayo, not the oil stuff.

2. Kevins are okay. Justins are the ones to be wary of.

3. Height: 1.04 Smoots. Weight: .09 tons (US). Combat experience: fought two wolves, some guy on Sunset who tried to sell me a bootleg CD, and a 1987 Dodge Ram.

Show threadRodneyPetersonTalentAgencySep 3, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

5’8”, 170, and I once had a four hour swearing contest in a psych hospital with a stripper.

Not one patient or staff member said a word to either of us, they all just eventually left the TV room and no one from the nurses station ever said a word.

This was the same hospital where at the time Dr. Drew ran the substance abuse unit.

Until two patients overdosed and died within 24 hours and he denied they were his patients.

Show threadEmil Jacobs - CollectifissionSep 3, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Show threadKarenSep 3, 2023
@collectifission @lowqualityfacts
Show threadObsoleteSep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
I’m lactose intolerant. Will boosting this make me gassy?
Show threadJohn MaxwellSep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts - But you didn't mention the rule about 'liking' the post as well, if you want tomato soup with your grilled cheese.
Show threadGeorge DinwiddieSep 27, 2023
@jmax @lowqualityfacts I’d rather “like” toots than eat tomato soup.
Show threadRenee Remains the SameSep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
I mean… I have known a lot of sketchy Kevins… 🤔
Show threadBartleby's CorpseSep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Where's my grilled cheese?
Show threadAlien software, human hardwareSep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts solid Kevin advice.
Show threadDoug 🌈🇨🇦 Sep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Kevin McCarthy kicks puppies
Show threadnot puppycatSep 27, 2023

@lowqualityfacts I was hungry. Now I don't.

Because this toot is nearly a month old.

Show threadCrowjaneSep 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
1. True
2. Glad my name is not Kevin.
3. That’s like homework.