Low Quality Facts

People greatly underestimate the value of libraries in our society. Here's some FREE things you can do at any library:

-Write your greatest enemy an anonymous letter, claiming to have hidden money in a local library book.

-Disguise yourself as a librarian, and offer to help your greatest enemy find the book they seek.

-Murder your greatest enemy in a secluded corner where no witnesses will be present.

-Hide the body behind the shelf of Guy Fieri cookbooks, where it will never be found.

Jul 30, 2023 at 2:05pmWeb
Show threadDragon in the streets, Fox in the sheetsJul 30, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

See, hiding the body behind the Guy Fieri books is actually a rookie mistake. Your best bet is to hide the corpse in a stack of lightly-erotic romance novels for women over 40, there are so many of them they'll completely cover it up and soak up the stench!

Show threadMichele 👾 🔭Jul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts why murdering them when you can make their life a living hell? Tell them the money is hidden in a code inside Guy Fieri’s books, and watch them descend into madness on speed-track.
Show threadC.Suthorn Jul 30, 2023

@mmanciop @lowqualityfacts

Die Quersumme der Seitenzahl der Perry Rhodan Romane ist der entscheidende Hinweis auf ein Wallet mit 666 Bitcoin, das rückwärts geschrieben im zweitbesten Perry Rhodan Roman versteckt ist.

Show threadAnnie in ProgressJul 30, 2023

@lowqualityfacts
I'm only here for the "Library" content. 😂

Also. SHHHHH 🤫
People are reading. (and murdering)

Show threadUrethramancer🐀Aug 27, 2023
@LikeItOrLumpIt @lowqualityfacts If a little murder is the price of getting people to read, we're willing to pay it.
Show threadADHDeanASLJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts If only there were a place where I could research silent methods of murder
Show threadWillJul 30, 2023
@adhdeanasl @lowqualityfacts Liam Neeson is...The Librarian: Revenge is Overdue™
Show threadRicki Yasha TarrJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Well this was a joy to read
Show threadLaukidhJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts instead of murdering them, knock them out and “book” them up inside a quiet reading room where they will never be found.
Show threadPetterOfCatsJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts now I got to come up with a different plan for next weekend. Thanks…
Show threadkopioJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Don't forget to explore the hidden chamber behind the false wall mounted book shelf.
Show thread🍸Pooka🥕Boo🍸Jul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts 😂🤣😂🤣
Show threadLink feet pic enjoyerJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Guy Fieri is a saint and I'll have none of this anti flavour town slander
Show threadMy name is Gloria ActuallyJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts my greatest enemy is myself I don’t think this will work
Show threadUkuleleJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts do they have books you can read, too? What a bargain!
Show threadaustralopithecusJul 30, 2023

@lowqualityfacts Careful, that first idea is a great one, but the rest of these are dangerous!

- NEVER impersonate a librarian, they take "stolen scholar" very seriously

- Do not attempt to hide from a librarian within its area of dominion; instead, ask at the information desk to be directed to the proper section for murders

- Do not leave bodies you are finished with strewn about haphazardly; instead, place them in the reshelving carts for proper handling

Library survival 101: safety first!

Show threadTony WellsAug 27, 2023

@australopithecus @lowqualityfacts

The best tips are always in the comments.

Show threadBattle MaskerJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts now hold up... is this why Miss Marian hasn't been at the library recently? was she never a real librarian?
Show threadpotatoxelJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts they too quite ud sleep in dem
Show threadKyoteJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Show threadMycotropicJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts learn more here; https://nightvale.fandom.com/wiki/The_Librarian
#WelcomeToNightVale
The Librarian

"The Librarian" is a specially written episode, performed during their 2014 tour. It was first performed on 16 January 2014. A recording of a performance at the Skirball Center at NYC in New York City on 16 January 2015 can be bought from the official Night Vale BandCamp page starting 1 March 2015. A librarian has escaped from the Night Vale Public Library, and no one in town is safe from this unprecedented horror. Plus, today's horoscopes, the community calendar, and a new intern joins the stat

Welcome to Night Vale Wiki
Show threadYser'alotha the Sleeping YeenJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts The sad thing is that I can totally do this at the main branch of my local library, and the atmosphere will be perfect.
Show threadlolonurseJul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
😂
Show threadEric Schiller (he/him)Jul 30, 2023
@lowqualityfacts That first one is close to an Encyclopedia Brown story. The trick is the kid stole the money and said it was between two pages that wouldn’t actually be together.
Show threadSam GrubbAug 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Patron: what’s the smell?
Librarian: oh that’s just the Guy Fieri cookbooks, they’ve always smelled like decomposition and hate.
Show threadCinemaofdreamsAug 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts These are great & helpful ideas. Haven't used a library since my local library took an architectural masterpiece & painted it kitchen yellow. Then, the librarian forbade people from using the elevator to the 2nd floor. Will have to see if any of those cookbooks reside in a discreet place. May be able to drag her corpse out of the duck pond, & put it there. Poor ducks have suffered long enough :)
Show threadPhantom Kitty (Tech)Aug 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts make sure you use one of the library's candlesticks as the murder weapon. That way the police will first look for six suspects, none of which is you, for who did it.
Show threadMatthias Rex 🦣Aug 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts They're also good places to start knife fights and they basically let you poop anywhere.
Show threadCautionWIP (he/him) 🏳️‍🌈🇨🇦🕎Aug 27, 2023
@lowqualityfacts The colonial era history stacks are a great place for a quickie when you can’t host or afford an hourly motel.