asacamanoJul 24, 2023
Low Quality Facts

We're seeing a large influx of new users, so here's some helpful Mastodon tips:

1. Liking a post does not affect its visibility. Instead, use the like button to let a user know that you find them to be irresistibly attractive and would like to become their internet soulmate.

2. Instead of saying orthodontist on here, we say mastodontist. This is important to know.

3. Tell us about yourself! Write either "pro-cannibalism" or "anti-caniballism" in your bio to avoid simple misunderstandings.

Jun 14, 2023 at 2:14pmWeb
Show threadkainisenniJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Ugh, fine. Guess I have the time to do all that since my monthly mastodontist visits are no longer necessary since my braces got removed.
Show threadWendy LadyJun 14, 2023
@kainisenni @lowqualityfacts I'll take over from here for you and use the #mastodontist hashtag since I got adult braces 5 months ago. In fact, I'm going to retroactively change my #braces posts to add #mastodontist for easier searching.
Show threadJames RyanJun 14, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

Aren't you worried that asking people to take a stand on pro- or anti- cannibalism might offend the vegans? Not all vegans like to think about getting protein from living creatures, and this puts them in an odd spot...

Show threadChris Helming  Jun 14, 2023
@JamesDRyan @lowqualityfacts we have decided to remove all mentions of cannibalism at this time because it has been deemed "too divisive." we thank you for your understanding.
Show threadBoxOfSnooJun 14, 2023
@chelming @JamesDRyan @lowqualityfacts the divisive part is the “pro-“ and “anti-“ part, though. What if you just removed those and left “cannibalism”?
Show threadJake LeggJun 15, 2023
@boxofsnoo @chelming @JamesDRyan @lowqualityfacts there is absolutely NO cannibalism on mastodon, by which we mean that there is a certain amount
Show threadthefathippyOct 21, 2023

@Jakelegg @boxofsnoo @chelming @JamesDRyan @lowqualityfacts

psst... Wanna buy some prime *rump*? 😉😉

Show threadJames RyanOct 21, 2023

@thefathippy @Jakelegg @boxofsnoo @chelming @lowqualityfacts

Wow, someone worked their ass off to get this...

Show threadGed|NetJun 14, 2023
@JamesDRyan @lowqualityfacts 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😚
Show threadJonathan Kamens 86 47Jun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts you have the best facts
Show threadJargogglesJun 14, 2023
@jik
@lowqualityfacts
On Mastodon, saying someone has good facts is an insult.
Show threadAlex  🔧🔮🌎🪿Jul 23, 2023
@jargoggles @jik @lowqualityfacts instead you ask "where can I sign up for your substack?"
Show threadAstrid SawatzkyJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Some people are yummy, some are not.
So on cannibalism I am staying with:
It depends.
:)
Show threadWendy LadyJun 14, 2023
@AstridSawatzky @lowqualityfacts right! I'm pro-eat the rich, so how can I be anti-canibalism?
Show threadAstrid SawatzkyJun 14, 2023
@NerdRage42 @lowqualityfacts
I suspect most of those must be thoroughly deep fried and need a lot of spices to make them edible.
But I'll support you where I can.
Show threadWendy LadyJun 14, 2023
@AstridSawatzky @lowqualityfacts jerky seems to be the best route. But gotta watch how many of those you eat because of all the nitrates and sodium that comes with billionaire chud jerky.
Show threadAstrid SawatzkyJun 14, 2023

@NerdRage42 @lowqualityfacts
jerked jerks jerky.

That makes a nice brand, does it not?

Well dried could finally make them sustainable.

Show threadJargogglesJun 14, 2023
@NerdRage42
@AstridSawatzky @lowqualityfacts
Context is very important.
Show threadTed GarrisonJun 15, 2023
@AstridSawatzky @lowqualityfacts I've found vegans are generally good, as they're grass-fed.
Show threadtichoJul 10, 2023
@AstridSawatzky @lowqualityfacts Everyone, I mean everyTHING can be fixed with enough seasoning. :)
Show threadAstrid SawatzkyJul 10, 2023

@ticho @lowqualityfacts
I could season winter with a lot of spring to fix it to summer.

You are so smart.

And already, it is warm here.
tada!
:)

Show threadAnthony GladmanJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts thank god you've cleared that up 🙏💪
Show threadMinnie "Calabaza" MelJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts don't forget: never confuse cannibals and cannonballs
Show threadNothingImportantJun 14, 2023
@melicious @lowqualityfacts They're deceptively alike. With both you can loose a hand if you’re not careful
Show threadEnby SharkJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts re: #3: I've been watching Yellowjackets so now it's complicated 🥴
Show threadVirginia S. O'PossumJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Every time I think of the word "mastodon" my molars ache a little.
Show threadYaoi Box BalloonJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts And debating here is called mastobating.
Show threadGed|NetJun 14, 2023
@monsoonrains @lowqualityfacts #MastodonFacts
Show threadarceuthobiumJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts what about amateur cannibalism?
Show threadGed|NetJun 14, 2023
@theothersimo @lowqualityfacts
That makes it a hobby. 😆
Show threadMarthaJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
I like this quality of facts. Please continue.
Show threadNothingImportantJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I always like to hear the other side's story. where can I find good pro-cannibalism sources?
Show threadMy camera shoots fascistsJun 14, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

I'm generally anti-cannibalism, except for eating the rich. ("It's what's for dinner.") Always eat the rich. Slow cooked on a spit over the burning embers of capitalism.

Show threadKevin Karhan Jun 15, 2023

@Mikal @lowqualityfacts please note that you still have to get a vet to check the corpses and certify they're safe to eat - just like with livestock...

#Spoiler: most billionaires will be rejected due to having excessive envoirmental poisons accumulated amidst their absurdly wasteful lifestyle...

Show threadsandywb14Jun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts 😂
Show thread🇳𝗮ꜟ𝖼𝘩Jun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
What about if, like me, you are on the fence about cannibalism?
Show threadJonJul 9, 2023
@Naich @lowqualityfacts then you're cannbivalent?
Show threadOpus FlukeJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Tricky, tricky about The Cannibalism Question.
If I'm playing #Skyrim then yes: the Ring of Namira is *essential* for a Vampire Lord!
If I'm playing #fallenlondon then I avoid strange voices from wells and would rather avoid swallowing my own teeth.
Otherwise I would avoid the brain- too much cholesterol and can carry prions such as CJD. Otherwise pair as you would with pork (a good hearty claret or ale or perhaps a Cider, depending upon seasoning).
Show threadkeith shtumJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts what about cannibalism curious?
Show threadScottinSoCal 🇺🇦 🕊 🏳‍🌈Jun 14, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

Whether I'm pro- or anti- cannibalism really depends on the cannibal. I don't want to judge a whole group of people based on one trait.

Show threadGed|NetJun 14, 2023
@ScottSoCal @lowqualityfacts
#SeriousHumour
Show threaddarren is Not Going BackJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts will i be notified about the outcome of my internet soulmate application?
Show threadYahia LababidiJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Isn’t it funny how cannibalism & capitalism sound the same 🫢
Show threadrag. Gustavino BevilacquaJun 14, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

When you find a really good toot, or someone post a photo (with alt-text, of course!) of a #DIY thing you see is well made, an applause 👏 👏 👏 (or any other form of personal appreciation) is more rewarding than a trivial star.

Show threadPusher Of Pixels (old account)Jun 14, 2023

@lowqualityfacts Them: Pick a side! Are you pro-cannabilism or anti-cannibilism?

Me: oh stick a fork in it

Them: ....

Me: I said what I said

Show threadComrade Lion-OJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I am pro cannibalism but anti cannibal, so it gets confusing. And don't even get me started on mastodontists!
Show threadReimanSaaraJun 14, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

I'm pretty sure it's "mastodonut"🍩

Show threadAlda Örlygur VilliljósJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I'm glad other people are using the like button in the same way I am! 🥺
Show threadSunnJax 🌷🏳️‍🌈 Jun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts What if you’re a pro-cannibalism vegetarian?
Show threadKyoteJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts this is really probably the funniest account 😅
Show threadMauve RoseJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts When specifying facts about yourself, beware of ambiguity. For example, do not use a phrase such as "cannibal hunter" as it is difficult to discern if you hunt cannibals or are a cannibal who hunts.
Show thread🚲Jun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts @chris Pro-cannonballs must watch out for pirates
Show threadBladeOfIsildurJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I liked this post. 😘
Show threadÁngelJun 14, 2023
Liking this post because I would like to become your internet soulmate. I don't have a clear position on caniballism, though.
Show threadJon (now at neuromatch.social)Jun 14, 2023
4. Believe everything @lowqualityfacts says!
Show threada.d. 🗽🇺🇸Jun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts 🔁 & ⭐️
Show threadAxelJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I’m actually anti-anti-cannibal. Obviously I’m not personally a cannibal, but anti cannibals are just so annoying and rude.
Show threadCyortonicJun 14, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I may need to call my mastodontist because I need to get a replacement retainer soon