1/5 I mentioned recently that I was doing my annual self-evaluation at work. Normally this triggers my #anxiety and #DemandAvoidance. And I guess the latter happened. This time I got into “fuck it” mode and just did my #narrative thing. What was new is that I injected context around AuDHD and how it expresses for me. #Burnout. Anxiety. Demand avoidance. Social awkwardness.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #workplace #PerformanceEvaluation @actuallyautistic
2/5 To his credit, my manager stuck with job performance and benefit to the organization in writing his notes. As we reviewed his feedback, I was determined to add context and offer how certain benefits are influenced by my #adapting to my AuDHD. I was upfront about some of my #challenges and where I have to find ways to try and work past them as I’m getting things done.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #workplace #PerformanceEvaluation @actuallyautistic
3/5 Part of me is actually surprised at how others evaluate my #performance when I know how much of a serious #struggle some of it is, especially #ExecutiveFunction.
These #COVID19 years and working through some of my son’s struggles have take a real toll on me. I shared about my seeking help with that.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #workplace #PerformanceEvaluation @actuallyautistic
4/5 In some areas, especially at home, I’m not catching up the way I might normally. It really bothers and #concerns me.
So while another round of yearly reviews is done and the outcome is good, it still surprises me a little each time. I’d like to sync up my self-reflection of my performance with what others see. I would like to restore the #resilience I have managed in the past.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #workplace #PerformanceEvaluation @actuallyautistic
5/5 I was also struck by our discussion about possible approaches. He was really listening, being supportive. I raised the possibility of an open letter to the team. I shared that I’d had 1:1 chats with sone team mates and that I’d been surprised to learn about others’ challenges. This reinforces my feeling that transparency is the best policy. Whatever our choices it leads to better outcomes.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #workplace #PerformanceEvaluation @actuallyautistic
@btaroli @actuallyautistic
"Part of me is actually surprised at how others evaluate my #performance when I know how much of a serious #struggle some of it is, especially #executivefunction"
The thing is, we tend to evaluate ourselves against an ideal. And sure enough, we fall short, feel bad & expect blame. But managers & others likely evaluate you with respect to normal human performance. Most folks are inefficient even without the high/low spikes of being #actuallyautistic .
Bill Taroli 
FrightenedRat 🏴