Lee BenningfieldDec 22, 2022
beetlejuice's ghoulish wife

EVERYONE ON MASTODON: Hello! I'm Dr. Whitney Appleby, a molecular biologist working on new ways to beat the Pacific Garbage Patch! In my spare time I love reading, hanggliding and playing with my cat. I'm also starting to weave-

ME: *shoving past them* yeah sure where are the dipshits? where are the real assholes around here. perverts, you got any perverts?

Nov 4, 2022 at 6:07pmWeb
Show threadbeetlejuice's ghoulish wifeNov 4, 2022
in your bio please clearly state your pronouns and how many things (high schools, colleges, communes) you have dropped out of
Show threadbeetlejuice's ghoulish wifeNov 4, 2022
whose got schemes going on right now
Show threadbeetlejuice's ghoulish wifeNov 6, 2022

YOU: I'm here to learn - and laugh! - with the international #hydrology community

ME: I'm here to go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Show threadDelisaNov 6, 2022
@mark have you found the AAAAHHHHHH yet?? it’s so wholesome in here
Show threadbeetlejuice's ghoulish wifeNov 6, 2022
@kattrali ahaha I think it'll come the more people who are on here!
Show threadTim CoeDec 20, 2022
@mark that's a little ambitious for me
Show threadThe ClericDec 20, 2022
@mark I'm always down for some void screaming.
Show threadEljayDec 20, 2022
@mark
Show threadRDec 22, 2022
@mark Here's the endless screaming bot: @scream
Show threadMark GardnerDec 22, 2022
@mark Found your AAAAAHHHHHHH @scream
Show threadOrmurNov 4, 2022
@mark I have one.
Show threadbeetlejuice's ghoulish wifeNov 4, 2022
@Ormur THAT'S what I'm TALKING ABOUT!!!
Show threadkirkmanbrandonNov 4, 2022
@mark I might or might not, who’s askin’?!
Show threadKate McWilliamsNov 5, 2022
@mark I got a shenanigan tonight and a caper tomorrow
Show threadbadsynthesisJan 13, 2023
@katemcwilliams @mark I'm going for a dastardly plot tonight and a ludicrous scheme tomorrow
Show threadFRIEND MOUTHNov 5, 2022
@mark welcome, you're gonna fit in great around here
Show threadCoreo Jones (coreopsismajor)Nov 5, 2022
@mark always, Mark. ALWAYS.
Show threadJob DestroyerNov 5, 2022
@mark me and some buds been talking about starting a fake cult to scam rich people
Show threadCorbincobbDec 22, 2022
@big_louse @mark can I join lol
Show threadJob DestroyerDec 22, 2022

@corn @mark

Absolutely! And nows a great time to join :)

Just wired the foundation 500$ in monero and we'll get you onboatded :)

:)

Show threadThe Doctor 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏴‍☠️👽Dec 22, 2022
@big_louse @mark can we slap em in the face with raw meat and tell them it's homeopathic
Show threadJob DestroyerDec 22, 2022
@Oncomingspork @mark you will go far in our organization
Show threadWisdom of Ancient GreeceDec 20, 2022
@mark whoever snatches, relying upon shamelessness, this congeals his own heart, even if it is little.
Show threadAllan ChowDec 20, 2022
@mark I'm learning how to make sausage
Show threadDinCA 🏳️‍🌈 🎾 🐶 🖖🥄Dec 20, 2022
@mark conniving or cyclical?
Show threadPatrick Johanneson 🚀 🇨🇦Dec 20, 2022
@mark Like, heists? or novels being written?
Show threadPsychiatric Help 5¢Dec 20, 2022
@mark
Silly question. This Diabolic Plot Season. Scheme Season doesn't start until end of May.
Show threadtexanarchyDec 22, 2022
@Sanityreturn2us @mark
daffy: diabolical plot season!
Bugs: Scheme season!
Show threadPsychiatric Help 5¢Dec 22, 2022

@texanarchy @mark
Should he shoot you now or shoot you later?

OH NO YOU DON'T! SHOOT ME NOW!
BOOM!

Show threadxyhhxDec 27, 2022
@mark me
Show threadDavid +Nov 4, 2022

@mark

he/him, little league baseball after a bad pitch to my head

Show threadcyclopscavemanNov 4, 2022
@mark i dropped out of community college to pursue my true passion: posting
Show threadPsyMar aka SamNov 5, 2022
@mark so it's kind of complicated: I technically dropped out of high school to start attending college, and I got my degree there.
Show threadbeetlejuice's ghoulish wifeNov 5, 2022
@psymar I sort of did the dirtbag version of that - I dropped out of high school and did online schooling so I could move to new York to take classes to get into college. But when i got into college, they... didn't ask for my senior year transcripts. So I just... didn't finish high school. But then I dropped out of that college... So I had to frantically finish high school after my freshman year of college
Show threadPsyMar aka SamNov 5, 2022

@mark at that point I'd have just gone for a GED

to quote the best unintentional joke I ever made:
"What are you going to college for?"
"Avoid truancy."

Show threadPsyMar aka SamNov 5, 2022
@mark to be clear I'm no less of a lousy student, I just got lucky that my genetic talents matched the kind of thinking that schools like, and that is generally pretty useless in the real world
Show threadMartha HowellDec 20, 2022
@mark Also the number of family members you have all-but abandoned.
Show threadJeff FeckeDec 20, 2022
@mark I've lost track, and don't want to lie about the number.
Show threadRCJIIDec 20, 2022
@mark Sci-fi book author inside cover bio blurb rules- list every job you ever worked for more than an eight hour shift, including volunteer work
Show threadAnna PhylaxisDec 20, 2022
@mark TFW undoomscrolling and I see this right after updating my bio.
Show threadCharles O’ConnorDec 20, 2022
@mark Just 1, but I think I should get style points bc it was Vassar
Show threadSid 🇵🇸Dec 22, 2022
@mark I flunked statistics like four times
Show threadDaniel FreysingerDec 22, 2022
@mark He/Him and all of the above multiple times
Show thread̶A̶l̶i̶c̶e̶ Bash Dec 22, 2022
@mark Hello, I am a dipshit. I have dropped out of one high school and two colleges, and somehow stumbled into a lower-paying tech job and holding on for dear life, so I don't have to go back to delivering pizza or washing dishes.
Show threadSilkesterDec 25, 2022

@mark No way! I enjoy being mistaken or the occasional correct guess.

When it helps people to relate, they cane make me whatever they want.

You get my pronouns soon enough. :)

Show threadbuttplug.io 🍑🔌Nov 4, 2022
@mark Hi.
Show threaddcbaokNov 4, 2022
@mark i mean just check the federated timeline. dipshits perverts assholes abound
Show thread🇹 TiNov 4, 2022
@mark I'm a dispshit but not an asshole or a pervert, if that helps with anything
Show thread🇹 TiNov 4, 2022
@mark I dropped out of college once, but then I went back, which is the absolute most dipshit thing I've ever done
Show threadRileyNov 4, 2022
@mark forget verified accounts, we need badges indicating who is a good shitposter
Show threadPsyMar aka SamNov 5, 2022
@mark is this a serious request? I, uh, know some people.
Show thread🇨🇦 SteveNov 5, 2022
@mark I usually check users before following them, but this post really says all I need to know. 🙂
Show threadWilde ThingyNov 6, 2022
@mark hi 👋
Show threadLa GatitaDec 20, 2022
@mark bless you.
Show threadNick MancusoDec 20, 2022
@mark I wanna know where all the Dril people are.
Show threadDaveDec 20, 2022

@Mancusonr
@mark

I believe they live at jorts.horse

Show threadMatunosDec 20, 2022
@mark following
Show threadDrooling Fan GirlDec 20, 2022
@mark everyone is a pervert of some sort. Just put it behind a Content Warning.
You want to be a jackass? Good luck with that. You might get tossed off your server. If they don’t and it gets bad enough, the whole server will be defederated.
Show threadH. MantegazziDec 20, 2022
@mark the funny thing is, those are the same people. You just need to find their alt accounts
Show threadcoellipticDec 21, 2022
@hmantegazzi @mark correct! except I can't be bothered to create an alt and I don't have the discipline not to shitpost on main