Andrew WithamDec 20, 2022
Pandora

Hey everyone. Just a reminder that you don't have to put up with bullying, shaming or guilt-tripping, just because it is Christmas.

If you don't want to see those relatives, you don't have to.

If you don't want to cook a huge dinner you don't have to.

If you don't feel like celebrating, you don't have to.

And don't let Christmas adverts bully you into being anxious. They just want your money, they don't care about your wellbeing.

Christmas is just one day. Be true to yourselves and put your mental and physical health first.

#christmas #mentalhealth

Dec 19, 2022 at 8:25amWeb
Show threadJanice DDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder Iagree with all of what you listed - however agreeing and actually putting into practice is somewhat difficult but we keep trying 👍👍🎄🎄🎄🎄
Show threadPandoraDec 19, 2022
@Janbear105 It is, it can be very hard, putting yourself first can feel horrible at this time of year but it’s necessary where we can
Show threadalicya sobyeska 🏳️‍⚧️Dec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder Y'r right. TY i need it this, because apparently i have allergy on this modern Saturnalia :)
Show threadPandoraDec 19, 2022
@alicyasobyeska Oh no, I hope your allergy effects pass quickly
Show threadalicya sobyeska 🏳️‍⚧️Dec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder I'm afraid it's an incurable ailment, but hey, thanks for good word :)
Show threadGaryDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder Totally agree, the pressure is too much for many many people who can’t express this. Give yourselves permission not to feel guilty.
Show threadCallie LarenDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder I won't lie, I'm quite relieved to be no contact with my mother this time of year. Her husband always made everything unbearable. I hated the season for years because of it, but being able to do what we want has made the last couple of years so much better.
Show threadPandoraDec 19, 2022
@callielaren I’m so pleased for you that you’ve been able to make that break, more ppl should do so.
Show threadCitroen_2CV_Rules 🇨🇦 🇺🇦Dec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder the relative part is critical...
Show threadPandoraDec 19, 2022
@Znapkel_zeppo Yep, my experience as a child was being dragged here and there to see various relatives by parents who didn’t want to go. It was like a punishment you had to go through
Show threadJuliaDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder once you have the relative part down the rest comes naturally, not to mention you might even grow to love Christmas doing it your own way under your own steam without the guilt!
Show threadJustRobDec 19, 2022

@DoraDisorder and if you just want a chat, anyone is very welcome to send me a message!!

Never be alone!

Show threadLiamDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder well said. I needed to hear this today, as do many others im sure. thank you
Show threadDanielDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder yea.... like that. Men I like you 👍
Show threadkatieDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder Man it's those expectations that we put on ourselves.
Show threadRyeDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder THANK YOU!!!!!!! The relatives one is HUGE for me... Took me years to finally admit that my legal family is a net negative in my life. Holidays without them are so much better.
Show threadHolz2735Dec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder
Amen.
Ditto.
And Thank You for your post.
Show threadStacyDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder So true. There's a difference between annoying relatives and those who live to abuse. No one should have to tolerate abuse in the name of 'family'. It took me years to learn that lesson.
Show threadLouieresangDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder this is what happens to me every year. Anxiety and stress, deep depression but trying to smile my way through it. I can’t wait til it’s over.
Show threadJohn Caveney woke is me🛠️Dec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder fine post, well timed and very accurate! 💪🏼
Show threadOld CritterDec 19, 2022

@DoraDisorder Although I am Catholic and love to celebrate the Lord's birth, I am in total agreement with you about the commercialism that has become an unfortunate part of the Christmas season, and that those who are not believers should not be bullied to observe, or be bullied in any other way. As you rightly pointed out, such bullying can negatively affect the health, especially mental health of those who who are bullying.

I wish you joy this season and beyond. Cheers.

Show threadPandoraDec 19, 2022
@OldCritter What a lovely sentiment. Best wishes of the season to you too
Show threadOld CritterDec 21, 2022
@DoraDisorder Thank you.😇
Show threadRod FaulknerDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder This is so spot on! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Show threadHR Lady Not Named LindaDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder Thank you for sharing this reminder. I've slowly adopted this philosophy over the years. I wish my family would, too.
Show threadAliceonboardDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder thank you.
Show threadDave WarnockDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder looks like we are on a similar page as that fits with what I was saying in my Carol Service sermon.
Show threadDamnKimberleeDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder thank you.
Show threadDr Tess MachlingDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder and don't forget there's going to be folks about on #JoinIn who will be up for having a chat over the holidays, so you won't be alone if you don't want to be.
Show threadMabbDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder you don’t know how much I needed to hear that today. I was just sitting here feeling guilty for not inviting my sister to Christmas dinner.
I hope your holidays (heck, your life) are filled with laughter, love and peace. 💞
Show threadMissMarlynDec 19, 2022
@Mabb @DoraDisorder For more years than I can count I endured my sister ‘s toxic behavior and comments because of the “you are supposed to love and forgive family” mentality but once I finally took the step to not include her in my life, the relief I felt outweighed the guilt . Stay strong and allow yourself to be with those that make you smile not hurt.
Show threadMabbDec 19, 2022
@MissMarlyn @DoraDisorder
Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@MissMarlyn @Mabb There’s something uniquely cruel about family members who are toxic. I’m glad you were able to take that step x
Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@Mabb Thank you, and I wish the same for you x
Show threadCypherCDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder As Chris points out, all "holidays" exist mainly for businesses to make more money.
Show threadSparkymikeDec 19, 2022
@DoraDisorder If you feel like just visiting with people you love and hardly ever see, do it. If they get hungry they can always order out.
Show thread(((JaneinNJ)))Dec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder Or any holiday.
Show threadArtemis PersistsDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder Agreed. Thank you for the reminder.
Show threadCat Scratch Fever Is RealDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder absolutely! And let's not forget the financial detriment. Many people put themselves in debt that they can't even pay off the next few years buying gifts.
Show threadVox PopuliDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder @Lee_in_Iowa 💕🥰💕 I could not agree more.
Show threadStevens R MillerDec 20, 2022

@DoraDisorder

A few years back, I started sending everyone who ever gave me a birthday or holiday gift a thank-you email for all past gifts, and a request that any future gifts be to someone in need. I am not in need and would rather not receive gifts. Knowing my gift went to someone in need instead is the only gift I ask for.

Most of them stopped giving me anything. A few did not. But I don't feel guilty about jack, so it's been a good move.

Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@stevensrmiller That's a fab idea, thank you for sharing, I think a lot of people might find that useful. Trying to dredge up an idea for a gift that someone almost certainly doesn't want is such a waste of mental energy, time and money when there are so many in need
Show threadStevens R MillerDec 20, 2022

@DoraDisorder

Yeah, I see it that way too. It gets harder all the time to think of something. If one is a creator of anything, I have most liked receiving gifts that are your creations. Other than that, who is going to give me a Lamborghini? Not much else I want that I don't already have.

My nephew sent me a cool note of appreciation for my no-gifts request. Only person to do that. I like him.

Show threadCathybugDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder
We stopped all the nonsense years ago. Now it's just lovely quiet times.
Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@Cathybug That’s brilliant, as it should be after a long year, a chance to recharge and just unwind and be at ease
Show threadCathybugDec 21, 2022
@DoraDisorder
Absolutely. To be honest, I'm just looking forward to Spring.
Show threadJust LizDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder AMEN to all of that!
Show thread✡️ MG ✡️ #VoteBlueDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder THIS! I file it under "why I haven't seen my inlaws in a decade" (since they stopped RVing to escape upper midwest winters)
Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@knitvspurl I guess that’s one of the advantages of the US, it’s so big, you can put a continent between you and those in laws
Show thread✡️ MG ✡️ #VoteBlueDec 21, 2022
@DoraDisorder Well, not a whole continent, but about 12-13 hours drive time. Hehe!
Show thread⚡️ axeshun ⚡️  Dec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder Oh boy...the fake Christian, moral outrage machine's gonna go nuts with their 'war on Christmas' bullshit, if they see this. But, yes. I absolutely agree.
Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@axeshun I think it’s now the Woke Trans War on Christmas, they updated it
Show threadRobinDec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder sigh, I so appreciate you expressing this. I just wish I didn’t have to relate. Years ago I had to tell my mother to please not come to dinner for the sake of my family’s peace of mind :/
I feel sad for my child that they have to live this way but I don’t want to pass internalized self-hatred onto them via abuse from loved ones.
Show threadPandoraDec 20, 2022
@Chimaera It sounds like you’re doing absolutely the right thing, for you and for your family.
Show threadMattman79Dec 20, 2022
@DoraDisorder Exactly! Thank you. My wife and I are just doing munchies. We have an ice storm coming, so Christmas will be handed out at our convenience. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Show threadJeff in CaliDec 21, 2022

@DoraDisorder Years ago, for a variety of reasons, I separated myself from my family. Since then, I've been spared all unwanted stress-inducing gatherings, meals, and gift exchanges. I now enjoy Christmas by decorating my house, listening to Christmas music, eating what I like, hanging out with friends, and watching all the Christmas movies I want. I spent the first three decades of my life hating Christmas, and now I look forward to it every year.

#christmas

Show threadDusty_the_nurseDec 21, 2022
Absolutely agree! It’s so easy to get sucked into the whole ‘this what we eat and this is what we do - and it *must* be perfect and you *must* enjoy it!’
#Christmas is a chance to be with people you want to be with (if you are lucky) and do what you enjoy. Instead it becomes a highly stressful time you just want to get over and done!
Don’t let it - this year opt out!
Show threadGodfrey642Dec 21, 2022
@DoraDisorder Thank you Thank you.
I really appreciated this.
I was just feeling AWFUL bc it seems the entire world is doing fancy stuffing and gourmet salads and i just can't do that. Even a simple roast for 8 wears me down.