Drop the fruit baskets.
Gift them timeshares.
Serenade them with duck farts.
Become two scarves in a trench coat whispering into a teacup.
Trap the ghost of Arnold Palmer in a chamber pot.
Become Bigfoot.
Immanentize the Christian Eschaton.
Read children's story's to kids at the Library.
Become addicted to absurdity.
Rewrite the bibe using only puns.
Argue that all statements which are relative are self-contradictory.
Begin now, don't hesitate, pick up the phone, operators are standing by. Not because they chose to, but because the order and connection of causes required it.
