For years I was a covert stutterer. I spent so much energy chasing fluency that it became part of how I imagined myself.

Lately I've been wondering whether there's grief there.

Not grief for "normality"... I have little interest in normality. But grief for the fluent self I was taught to desire, the future I thought fluency would unlock, the years spent hiding.

And I feel like I should give myself permission to feel grief, without judging it.

#stuttering #disability #grief #fluency #normality #passing #covertstuttering

Dear brain,

I know that we've been sitting in Latin space, but it would really help if you'd switch back to German like my surroundings and not serve up Czech which I haven't used in months and months.

Many languages, none of them helpful in the moment.... #fluency #languageLearning #vocabulary #stumbles

I took an online Spanish test to check my fluency level, and it says that I'm at C1.

Then I asked an LLM and it said "Big Boy, you surely are at Z99. 😉 " I said I'm not a man, and then it said "Okay, but you're still at Z99. 😏 "

Okay... the bit about the LLM is a joke, but I really took a test and it really said C1.

#SpanishLanguage #fluency #LLM #AI