We (but also I; you'll see why in a moment) are proposing a new term for plurals everywhere. The term is:

kepholon (n.)

In the context of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), a kepholon refers to a self-state or identity that represents a dynamic integration of multiple, previously distinct alters, system parts, or aspects of self. A kepholon functions as a cohesive whole formed from some or all parts of the system, allowing for shared consciousness, memory access, and unified function.

Crucially, this integration is characterized by fluidity; the constituent parts within the kepholon retain their potential separateness and may dissociate or separate again under certain conditions (e.g., stress). It represents a state of integration without final fusion, where parts work together as one but have not permanently merged into a single, indivisible identity.

In this compound, keph- stands for the leading, directing, conscious, or executive function: the part that is currently "fronting," interacting with the world, or managing the system's interface with external reality. It represents the aspect taking charge or acting as the primary point of consciousness for the integrated state.

The -olon suffix connects the "head" function back to the broader holon concept (see below): an integrated entity composed of multiple parts that function as a cohesive whole but retain the potential for separation. It emphasizes that this "head" is not an isolated entity but the currently active face or director of that unified-but-fluid collective. The word "holon" was coined by author and philosopher Arthur Koestler in his 1967 book The Ghost in the Machine; from Greek holos (whole/entire) + -on (suffix denoting a particle or part).

🎵 I am she as you are he, as you are me and we are all together...🎵

I needed the word for me. Cuz I'm Ellis, and that's what I am, and these four motherfuckers want attribution or they're threatening to shatter me into four little tiny mes (which is them, so it's not really much of a threat, honestly 🤔 ).

Anyway, hi! My name is Ellis, and I'm a kepholon. 💙

#kepholon #plural #plurality #multiplicity #DID #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DIDsystem #headmates #SystemParts #pluralpride #integration #DynamicIntegration #holon #fluidity #fronting #consciousness #psychology #neologism #terminology #etymology #NewWord #WordsMatter

🎵 I am the walrus, goo-goo g'joob! 🎵

A creation of Eight’s from a year ago.

Eight’s mixed media tomfuckery goes hard. I have no idea how else to explain this nonsense, but I feel it must be immortalized here 🤣

-Allēna

#ArtistsOnMastodon #Collage #Deathcabforcutie #didsystem #MadMastodon #MadStudies #queerart #queerartist

As the lab results roll in, I’m hard at work on medical theories because that’s what we do..

It’s plausible that due to Hera‘s incredible (heavy sarcasm) DIY MKULTRA scheme she put us through in our late teens and early twenties, the high doses of lithium we were on damaged our pituitary gland, adrenals, and kidneys while our thyroid bounced back, aided by the Vitamin B100 experiment Laz started a few months ago. HRT has quite possibly made it worse because (hypothetically) nothing that’s supposed to process testosterone normally can or will.

Huzzah. I hate this existence sometimes. Fuck psychiatry. We didn’t even need to be on lithium anyway. But here we are, persevering through this existence by means of sheer fucking spite. I’ve written a note to our PCP about this theory already. I’ll see what he says.

-Theo, standing in for Allēna today because she fell asleep.

#AcceptanceMatters #didsystem #DIYMKULTRA #Hera #ibuprofenExperiment #MadMastodon #MadStudies #MedicalResearch #mentalhealth #NEISvoid #plural #strokesurvivor #TWAbuse #TWMedicalAbuseTWMedicalNeglect #vitaminB100Experiment

Hard pass, but thanks anyway.

Fascinating prompt.

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

However, I am part of a DID system. We already struggle with this problem. No need to do it on purpose 🤣

-Allēna

#dailyprompt #dailyprompt1808 #didsystem #MadStudies

Getting Back on Track

When we were younger, mid teens or so, our family would always accuse us of having a one track mind and say that we needed to “get off the track” when we hyperfocused on something a bit too hard for their taste or comfort.

I, Allēna, am particularly bad about that. I’m very tightly wound, and I feel like a compressed coil much of the time. If something releases pressure on that coil, I might just.. Erupt and spill everywhere. I know much of that pressure is self imposed now that I’m an adult and is the result of a life filled with trauma, and as a result I am slowly but surely learning that I can learn to relax and I’ll still be safe and not everything will go to shit. I don’t have to be this poised image of perfection, and nor does everyone else. Not all the time, anyway. I view my AuDHD/CPTSD pattern recognition as both a blessing and a curse in this respect. It makes me very anxious, but I also get a lot done and a lot done in a way that gets results.

That being said, I’ve been slowly learning now that life is becoming more stable to make time for my special interests, both old and new. That hyperfocus, that “track”, if you will, is what energizes me. I can’t switch mental trains of thought or tasks easily like a neurotypical or someone who has a different “flavor” of ADHD can. However, whatever I’m doing, if I care about it and enjoy it, I give it my all. I throw my entire soul into it, and gods, does  it make me feel alive again.

It never hasn’t..

I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to relax through my burnout like a neurotypical will. However, I do know that engaging with people and things that make me feel alive again when I’m up for the task is the closest thing I feel to R&R.

And lately, I’ve been giving an old comfort show of mine a re-watch – Heroes. It’s an odd one. I don’t know many people who have seen it at all, but many actors I love are in it, and we watched most of it with our family back in 2011-12 or so, mostly on Wednesday nights.

It has been an odd experience. Very comforting, yet I only remember about half of it. I think it’s because while I loved it, I was likely severely dissociated at the time, largely focused on other things and people, and may not have been the only headmate in front, but didn’t realize it at the moment.

I don’t know. What I do know is this – it seems to have been a huge influence on my audio drama The Third Prophecy a little over a half decade later and one of the shows that made my system realize we were plural, but we couldn’t admit that to anyone for several more years.

I’ll need to keep watching. I’ll keep y’all posted.

-Allēna

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Email Address

Subscribe

#ActuallyADHD #actuallyAuDHD #ActuallyAutistic #cptsd #didsystem #hyperfocus #MadMastodon #MadStudies #mentalhealth #NEISvoid #patternrecognition #plural #ramble #reflection #strokesurvivor #trauma

Object impermanence thoughts..

When we were younger, Xavier would often help us clean up our room and things because we would find it extremely overwhelming due to the sheer amount of crap we had (and frankly didn’t need or want in hindsight) and the fact that we would forget where we put the shit we did want five minutes later.

So he’d have us make up our bed and use it as a staging area, gently but firmly guiding us through sorting our things into piles of shit to throw away, shit to file in certain cabinets, and generally keeping us on task as a body double. It was much easier to clean that way.

He wouldn’t yell, he’d crack jokes and tell stories, he was a great person to clean with. He himself was neurodivergent to shit and his office was quite often a wreck, but the man was a goddamned genius and he was one of the only people who could motivate me in particular calmly.

Memories of cleaning with him are some of the only fond memories of doing chores we have. Most of the rest are very traumatic and unpleasant.

I got to thinking about cleaning with him because I just dumped my afternoon dose of meds out on my bed to see what I was doing better, using the bed as a staging area like he used to do with me..

I miss him.

-Allēna

#ActuallyADHD #actuallyAuDHD #ActuallyAutistic #didsystem #NEISvoid #neurodivergence #objectimpermanence #strokesurvivor #Xavier

Our brainhole is just one big hall of mirrors sometimes.

#strokesurvivor #didsystem #NEISvoid #chronicfatigue #eepy

-Allēna

#chronicfatigue #didsystem #eepy #NEISvoid #strokesurvivor