@vkc

For disclosure, I'm not the recipient of significant abuse, but I fully believe that it happens and is a problem. I'm also #acutallyAutistic and in the middle of a period of burnout, so brain fog is a limiting factor for me at the moment. It's entirely possible that I'm just unable to think this through properly.

I'm wondering if the harassment problem is because there's no direct, tangible consequence on the perpetrators (users or servers) for being blocked? Blocking doesn't stop the blocked from talking amongst themselves, and to others who do not block them.

Blocking seems to be the equivalent of "if I can't see it, it doesn't exist". If that's your only recourse, then all you can do is gaslight *yourself*.

Perhaps some kind of reputation mechanism might work? I know this has been tried before and has its own flaws, but I don't know if there's a way to overcome them.

Is it just me, or is there a resistance by the mainstream to acknowledge that autism is a spectrum disorder?

It seems like public discourse around autism still treats thinks "autistic" means profoundly disabled. Is it willful ignorance so they can continue to discount autistic voices? Is it just plain old eugenics?

I'm especially thinking about RFK Jr.'s rhetoric which was highly skewed (fact-checked here https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/fact-checking-robert-f-kennedy-jr-s-statements-on-autism. He isn't the only one who thinks like this. It seems to be common.

In more recent decades, the diagnostic criteria for autism have broadened, producing a spectrum ranging from severe impacts to more modest ones. Today’s definition encompasses “individuals with milder symptoms, stronger language skills, and higher IQs,” said Christopher Banks, president and CEO of the Autism Society of America.
Autism’s expanded definition means a minority of people on the spectrum have the kinds of severe limitations Kennedy cited, though it’s hard to say how many.

#AcutallyAutistic

Fact-checking Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s statements on autism

Medical experts, along with people on the autism spectrum, told PolitiFact that Kennedy’s portrayal was skewed.

PBS News

After a long time getting stuck doomscrolling and not being able to stop that habit, I'm finally able to limit my time online.

The most important part was figuring out WHY I wanted to spend less time on social media, and writing a script for the arguments "tired-depressed-angry me" makes when I'm tempted to break my own rule.

None of the other methods like software blocks etc work when the person I become when I'm tired, depressed and angry doesn't agree with the reasons for changing the habit in the first place.

Scripts like:
"Yes, it's true there are good things about being online, and I can experience those good things from x to y time every day."

"I really do feel bad about myself if I've been online too much. I'd like not to feel that way. I have decided that for myself, I don't care what others think."

"I have a list of other things I can do that I enjoy when I'm low, and that list is right here, let's look at it."

#ADHD #AcutallyAutistic #AuDHD

As a teenager I'd often help sell donuts in the high school cafeteria at lunch time for charity

Looking back now through late realized eyes,

Great way to socialize without being social
Small number of interaction scripts
Repetitive routine

After university I volunteered on a crisis line. Later when I started training people I'd joke that many came to improve their social skills. I now understand I was one.

#acutallyautistic @actuallyautistic

There are two things that I really don't like about my particular style of neurodivergence.

The first is I have no sense of direction. I look at the names of streets that I've driven on and been around for years and I cannot tell where they are in relation to my current location.
Oh, the water boil order is for people in the I-240 loop, but south of I-64. Sure. I have no idea what that means.

The second thing is the clumsiness. I run into things, drop things, trip over things, all the time. I wear shoes even around the house because otherwise I'd break my toe nails more often. Just getting up and trying to start walking is a challenge because I almost always start to tip over before I catch myself. No, it isn't an inner ear disorder or a blood pressure thing; I've been tested.
I have gotten really good at falling in a way that doesn't hurt much.

Both of these are things I have always struggled with no matter how hard I try to "fix" them. I try and I try but I still can't function like a normal person.
I say "normal" even knowing that isn't the case because I have internalized self-hatred over it. I've come to terms, more or less, with my shitty memory, but these two things just cause me to break down in tears sometimes.
I try.
I really try.
I feel like people don't think I try even though nobody in my adult life as told me that.
I do try.
I try so hard.

My wife never makes fun of me for it. She's very supportive. She compensates when she can. She's always the navigator when we go on trips.
But I feel like it should be easy. I feel like there is a trick I haven't discovered, yet.

We talked to my mom earlier this week and she was talking about someone with a profoundly autistic child who isn't getting them the care they need and is actively denying they need help at all.
My wife mentioned that I was on the spectrum and my mom hand-waved it away. She doesn't understand the diversity of autism and how different people have different aspects of it and to varying degrees. If you aren't nonverbal and unable to look at a person, you are fine.
She admits I had ADHD but erroneously said Autism and ADHD are part of the same diagnosis. They are often co-morbid, but they are very different.
My wife was excited to tell my mom about my diagnoses because I better understand why I am the way I am, I have found a community on the fediverse that I can relate to, and I am learning to accept myself as not broken.
But my mom doesn't understand any of that. It's primarily why I've never talked to her about it in the first place which I wish I had told my wife before she brought it up to my mom.

As a bonus positive thing, I've been effectively using my autism ability for analysis and preparation to compensate for my ADHD scatterbrain in some scenarios.

Problem: Don't forget to clean out the fridge in the garage when you get back from running errands. Don't forget to drink water while working in the garage.

Solution: put the garbage can in the middle of the garage so I will see it when the door opens and not pull in.
Leave the garbage can full so I have to empty it immediately.
Which will make me go inside to get more bags.
Which is where I left my Yeti bottle full of water so I would remember to take it back out into the garage so I would drink water while working.

Perfect.

Edit: added hashtags.
#AcutallyAutistic #AuDHD #ADHD #Neurodivergent

Today I got my hearing aids for my sensory processing issues!!

It's a microphone and a receiver that I can connect to my noise cancelling headphones. The microphone is designed to only pick up the sound of the wearer or the person it's pointing at, so their voice is amplified while the rest is filtered out.

It also has a "table mode" where it picks up sound from all directions for when I need to listen to multiple people.

I'm so happy, can't wait to try it out when I visit my family and for next semesters university lectures!
​:happy_flappy_hands_emoji:​

@[email protected] #acutallyautistic #neurodivergent #disabilityaids

Something the people in my life struggle to understand about my experience...
Positive change is still change, and thus, often comes with a period of overwhelm, anxiety, and panic.
Excellent news can be as overwhelming as terrible news, especially if that excellent news results in a long list of changes to be made.
"I thought you'd be stoked." - I'm sure I will be, after I'm done collapsing under mountains of change. But first, panic, anxiety, and tears.

#AcutallyAutistic

@AndorianSoup this is why I love keyword and hashtag mutes. I can enjoy some of a user’s content but filter things that wind up being not great for me to be spending cycles on or commenting. Once I see it the wheels unavoidably begin turning. #AcutallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #fediverse

I genuinely think my #aphantasia affects my ability to play go (and I guess chess) well. You sort of need to be able to visualise positions, and I can't do that. Any other aphantasics out there experience this?

@actuallyautistic #acutallyautistic

@dr_rug_pull

Newly self-DX. I find I cannot sleep well, or sometimes at all, with any music, TV, etc. Too much light will also interfere with sleep.

All that with the caveat that exhaustion can change that at a moment's notice. I was recently diagnosed with #AFib, so exhaustion is a thing. Other chronic conditions (such as #fibromyalgia) can do the same.

@hellomiakoda

#spoonie #AcutallyAutistic #fibro

@actuallyautistic @spoonies