Professional MoronSpace Warlord Baby Trading Simulator: SELL, SELL, SELL! 👼
With a title like that, you know this game will have something about it. The sequel (of sorts) to the brilliantly named Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator (2021) by indie dev Strange Scaffold is here!
Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator launched in January 2026 and is a positively nuts experience. In a cosmos of space babies, it’s up to you to buy low, sell high, and manage the baby stock market. Huzzah?
The Cosmic World of PROFITS in Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator
The game is very darkly satirical and doesn’t hold back on the black humour. We’re surprised it hasn’t caused chaos in the religious community tbh. Look at this game intro screen text:
“In this game, you will follow readouts of the simulated futures of alien babies and ‘watch’ as they commit war crimes, get addicted to recreational drugs, become cannibals, find love, acquire corporations, get used for medical experiments, become intergalactic stars, get hunted by the rich for sport, blow up toxic sludge pipelines, commit suicide, win the lottery, and many, many other things in-between.
You will buy, sell, and short stocks based off of these events. You will likely become very angry at least once when a baby who you are financially incentivised to watch crash and burn pulls their life together.
And that’s okay.”
From there you discover it’s the distant future and war has been eradicated, which is really bad news for rich people. To make up for that, the trading market opens for space babies.
It’s all very much in the style of the cult classic Gazillionaire (1994) that was good fun back in the day.
Excerpt here you pick a baby and the game then follows the course of its life. You’re supposed to buy stocks during key life events, aiming to buy low and then sell high when the baby is doing well in life.
This is how it all plays out, in frantic fashion with lashings of satircal humour.
Our first space baby had quite the life, living for 112 years before being destroyed by orbital acid. Along the way, this space baby learned to play banjo (raising stocks), only to be scuppered by a sickle accident (lowering stocks). Other crises included getting blackout truck and being assaulted at a protest.
All-in-all, we made a handsome small profit off our first trading run, but weren’t aggressive enough in buying.
Anyway, it’s fair to say Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator is nuts. In a good way! It’s ideal for pick-up-and-play style bursts of frantic escapism. Importantly, it does get addictive and hooks you in. Players will rejoice in getting on a running loop of stock market antics and observing the lives of space babies taking their various twists and turns.
The more money you earn, the more you can advance your reputation. Plus, indie dev Strange Scaffold clearly knows their stuff about investing and trading as the game is rooted effectively in realistic stock market stuff.
However, the game can be a bit repetitive. It’s not something you’ll sit there playing for four hours a night, we think it’s more intended for short bursts.
That it does very well. Plus, the humour works a treat.
#Capitalism #Entertainment #Fun #gaming #IndieGames #Lifestyle #satirical #Space #SpaceWarlordBabyTradingSimulator #stockMarket #stockMarketSimulator #StrangeScaffold
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