Most therapeutic models were built to help people survive their lives.
Relational Therapy is built to help people inhabit them. #RelationalTherapy

http://survivorliteracy.com/2026/01/26/relational-field-theory-relational-therapy/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=jetpack_social

Tonight in class we explored relational ethics, also known as caring ethics. I’m skipping over the lesson itself to focus on what came up for me.

There is an assumption in relational ethics that every one has access to multiple caring relationships beyond therapy. Therapy offers connection, others in a person's life are expected to provide emotional nourishment as well. Some people arrive without any safe relationships. Many carry histories of trauma, neglect, or isolation. In those situations, therapy becomes the one space offering presence and care. Rules and boundaries shape the work, the relationship often holds the entire emotional weight.

Helping others often gets presented as a response to loneliness. Service becomes a substitute for connection. Provide care, contribute meaningfully, fill time with acts of support. None of this addresses the core need. Loneliness demands recognition, conection and shared experience. External acts do not replace mutual relationships.

Another question arose around empathy. We were asked to think about when we first showed empathy. My answer surprised me. Therapy offered the first safe space where empathy emerged. Childhood lacked attunement, emotional safety, or reflective experience. In that environment, empathy could grow. Survival required internal distance.

During trauma work, a therapeutic relationship provided attuned presence. Over time, emotional empathy stirred. Later experience gave it permission to form and take root.

Some conversations treat empathy as universal or innate. This creates pressure, erasing different pathways toward growth. People raised without emotional safety often build these capacities during adulthood.

#Counselling #Therapy #RelationalEthics #CaringEthics #Trauma #Empathy #Loneliness #MentalHealth #TherapistTraining #RelationalTherapy #Attachment #TraumaRecovery #CPTSD #Healing #EthicsInTherapy