Disappointed that so many have lost the true meaning of #Smubruary. Oh well, I suppose I need to self soothe in true #Smizzerite tradition. This involves shunning early 21st century technology and embracing early 20th century technology. Somehow the latter is more pure and holy than the former (?). I may or may not return. Either way, it has been a beautiful ride #Mastodon #Christmas #goodbye #PraiseTheSmub

In the #Smizzerite faith, today is not only Smiday, it is the 32nd of #Smubruary! I will observe this day as I observe many others, with a sense of wonder and a dearth of practical knowledge. #PraiseTheSmub #SmibbitySmub

It’s official. I am an #ordained #minister thanks to #UniversalLifeChurch. Need a chump to officiate a wedding, a ritual divorce, an exorcism, or some other crap? I’m your guy; hit me up! Disclaimer: I don’t really follow that God guy. He’s fine but his closest crew are mostly assholes. I’m into the #Smub, an entity formerly consisting of individual superbeings who decided to join forces (and identities) in the #GreatSmush. This may sound crazy to folks, but any crazier than other religions?!?! #PraiseTheSmub #SmibbitySmub