Mastodawn

Happy Father’s Day to the Ones Who Actually Show Up

Welcome back to another installment of Stories from Tina. Grab a seat. I’ve currently got my lifeline in hand—a Philz iced Tesora with heavy cream and sugar—and I’m ready to get into it. You all know music is my primary language, so before you keep reading, imagine a fittingly soulful, real-talk track playing in the background to set the vibe. My little white Shih Tzu, Daisy, is currently curled up at my feet completely oblivious to the world, which is exactly the kind of peace I’m trying to channel today.

Today is Father’s Day. If you scroll through social media right now, you’re going to see the standard highlight reels, the matching shirts, the grill smoke, and generic greetings. You’re also going to see at least one man who hasn’t bought a pack of socks since 2019 suddenly expecting a full parade. But as a 33-year-old Leo, you know I’m not here to sugarcoat reality; I’m here for authenticity, boundaries, and a little bit of a reality check. We have watered down the word “father” so much that some people think biology is the whole résumé.

Let’s talk about what actually makes a father. I was scrolling through my feed this morning and saw a quote that perfectly nailed the vibe I’m on today. It read: “Happy Father’s Day to all the men that actually take care of their kids & an even bigger happy Father’s Day to the men that step up for kids that ain’t theirs. It don’t take blood to make you a dad, it takes love.”

Listen, gentlemen. Biology is basically just a science experiment. Being a father? That’s a verb. It’s an active, daily, relentless choice. Anybody can have a child; that part doesn’t require a committee meeting, a background check, or even common sense. But raising a child is a completely different assignment. I am talking about the men who are actually fathering. The ones who know their child’s shoe size without calling the mother first. The ones who know the teacher’s name, the allergies, the bedtime routine, and the exact difference between “I’m fine” and “I’m about to cry but I don’t want to say it.”

Parenting is not a pop-up shop. You cannot clock in once every six months, take a picture at Chuck E. Cheese, buy a Happy Meal, and act like you just completed a presidential term. Children are not seasonal decorations or tax-time reminders. They are human beings. They remember, they feel, they notice, and eventually, they understand. We all know how exhausting the daily grind can be. Between managing endless household schedules, figuring out what’s for dinner for the thousandth time, and just trying to keep growing humans emotionally and physically thriving, life demands everything we have. A real father doesn’t look at the chaos of daily life and check out; he wades right into the middle of it.

Let’s say it louder for the people in the back: Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there, but you’re not really a father unless you’re actually taking care of all your kids that you actively have on this earth.

All of them.

Not just the ones whose mother you still like. Not just the ones who live in the house with you. Not just the child with the mother who doesn’t require accountability. If you have multiple children, fatherhood does not allow you to pick a favorite family like you are choosing toppings at Subway.

I’m so incredibly tired of the “she won’t let me see them” excuse when we all know family courts exist. Or the “I’ll be there when they’re older and can understand” cop-out. Newsflash: by the time they are older, they will understand exactly who was absent and who chose their own comfort over their child’s well-being.

I know a thing or two about the realities of these dynamics and how painful it can be. My son Noah’s biological father wouldn’t even claim him. To this day, he denies, refuses, and neglects his son, as well as all of his other children—except for two of his daughters. That is not fatherhood. You do not get to say, “I take care of my kids,” while others are growing up wondering why they got the clearance-rack version of you. A child should never be punished because two adults could not make a relationship work. Adults create the mess; adults need to clean it up.

Because blood might make you related, but love makes you family. DNA does not wipe tears. DNA does not sit in traffic to pick a child up from practice. DNA does not help with homework while pretending to understand new math (and let’s pause right there, because new math is proof that the education system woke up one day and chose violence).

There’s a beautifully written message circulating online today that perfectly captures the whole messy, beautiful spectrum of this holiday. It sends love to everyone: the single dads, the stepdads, the adoptive and foster dads, the ones navigating loss, and those with complicated relationships with their own fathers. It acknowledges that today isn’t just a Hallmark card for everyone. But my absolute favorite part of that message is how it ends: “…and everyone who shows up with love like a dad.”

Showing up. That’s the magic phrase.

I want to give a massive, standing ovation to the men who don’t share DNA with the children they love, but who step into a role they weren’t obligated to fill. Imagine looking at a child and saying, “I don’t have to do this, but I’m going to.”

Happy Father’s Day to my kids’ dad, Nonso, who is raising both our kids. When Noah’s biological father walked away, Nonso stepped up in ways that are unimaginable. He adopted my son as his own. He has been raising and doing everything for both Noah and Maureen. From taking them to school and sports events to just being their rock, this man has a good heart and means well. He didn’t just step in when things were easy; he stepped in during the messy transitions and the moments where my kids needed a steady hand. My kids love him so much and appreciate everything he does for them. He is the ultimate proof that the man who shares your life becomes the one who truly earns the title.

Now let me sprinkle in a little humor because y’all know I can’t stay serious forever. Some dads act like watching their own children is babysitting. Sir. Those are your kids. Nobody gives moms a standing ovation because they spent time with their own children. Imagine me calling my husband and saying: “Can you come watch your kids while I go to Target?” The way I’d get laughed right off the phone! Yet some men think they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize because they spent two hours with their own child without calling for backup. Or they announce, “I’m watching the kids today so my wife can have a break.” Being present with your own offspring isn’t a favor, it’s the job description. Please be serious.

But let’s also acknowledge that being a good father isn’t about being perfect. Kids will test you. They will literally look you in the eyes, wearing the shoes you worked overtime to buy, and act like you are ruining their life because you asked them to pick up a single sock. They will ask for snacks immediately after refusing the dinner you just cooked from scratch. They will tell you at 8:47 p.m. on a Sunday that they need a trifold poster board for a project due tomorrow morning. They will say, “You don’t understand,” while eating food you paid for and using Wi-Fi you keep alive like a utility bill hostage situation. Parenting is an extreme sport.

Good fathers keep trying anyway. Good fathers apologize when they lose their cool. Good fathers don’t disappear when parenting gets uncomfortable or boring.

So today, I want to send love to the whole emotional group chat that is Father’s Day. To the single dads packing lunches and doing hair, learning how to be emotionally available—you are seen. To the grandpas and uncles standing in the gap—thank you. To the people missing their dads, grieving, or navigating complicated relationships where you don’t know whether to send a text or just go eat something with cheese and pretend feelings aren’t real—I hope today is gentle with you.

But mostly, to the real ones out there. The men who quietly love their children every day. The men who stay. The ones who provide, step up, wipe tears, and actively raise ALL the humans they brought into (or welcomed into) this world. Your children may not fully understand your invisible labor right now, but one day they will realize who stayed. Who called. Who fought for them. Who actively chose them, every single day.

Happy Father’s Day.

Keep it real,

-Tina

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Eco Mom Diaries Apr 5

Raising Wild Kids: The Sustainable Parenting Trend Every Family Should Try

This post contains affiliate links which may earn Eco Mom Diaries a commission.

Modern parenting can sometimes feel overwhelming. Between busy schedules, endless activities, and a constant stream of new toys and gadgets, childhood today often looks very different than it did just a few generations ago. Many parents are beginning to ask an important question: Is there a simpler way to raise happy, healthy kids?

One growing answer is sustainable parenting.

Sustainable parenting is not only about buying eco-friendly products or choosing non-toxic toys. It is also about raising children who feel connected to nature, value simple living, and learn to appreciate the world around them. One parenting approach gaining popularity is the idea of raising “wild kids.” This does not mean letting children run completely without boundaries. Instead, it means encouraging outdoor exploration, curiosity, creativity, and hands-on learning in nature.

Many families are discovering that raising wild kids is one of the easiest and most meaningful ways to practice eco-friendly parenting.

What Does “Raising Wild Kids” Mean?

The idea behind raising wild kids is simple: children spend more time exploring the natural world and less time relying on screens, structured entertainment, or endless toys.

In the past, childhood naturally included outdoor adventure. Kids climbed trees, built forts, collected rocks, chased butterflies, and spent long afternoons playing outside with friends. Today, many families are intentionally bringing back this style of childhood because it encourages creativity, independence, and environmental awareness.

Nature-based parenting allows children to learn directly from the world around them. Instead of always being entertained by technology, kids learn how to create their own fun using imagination and natural materials.

This kind of play builds confidence and encourages kids to become curious about how the world works.

Why Sustainable Parenting Encourages Outdoor Play

Parents who focus on sustainable parenting often find that outdoor play becomes a natural part of their lifestyle. Time spent outside supports both environmental awareness and healthy childhood development.

When children regularly explore nature, they begin to develop a deeper appreciation for the environment. A child who has watched caterpillars turn into butterflies or planted seeds in a garden often grows up caring more about protecting the earth.

Outdoor play also reduces the need for constant consumption. When kids learn to entertain themselves outside, they often need fewer toys and gadgets. Sticks become magic wands. Rocks become treasure. A pile of leaves can turn into a castle or secret hideout.

Nature encourages imagination in ways that many modern toys cannot.

The Benefits of Nature-Based Parenting

Encouraging kids to spend more time outdoors offers many benefits for both children and families.

Children Develop Stronger Creativity

Nature play encourages children to think creatively and solve problems on their own. When kids build forts, create obstacle courses, or invent games outside, they are developing important thinking skills.

Kids Learn Environmental Responsibility

Children who feel connected to nature are more likely to grow into adults who care about protecting the planet. Sustainable parenting helps kids understand the importance of caring for plants, animals, and natural spaces.

Outdoor Play Supports Physical Health

Running, climbing, digging, and exploring all help children build strength, coordination, and balance. Outdoor play also supports mental health and helps reduce stress.

Less Consumerism, More Creativity

When families embrace simple outdoor play, they often discover they need far fewer toys and products. This naturally supports a more eco-friendly family lifestyle.

Simple Ways to Raise Nature-Loving Kids

You do not need to live in the countryside or own acres of land to raise kids who love nature. Small changes can make a big difference.

Spend Time Outside Every Day

Even a short walk around the neighborhood or a trip to a local park can help children feel connected to the outdoors. Fresh air and open spaces encourage curiosity and exploration.

Create a Backyard Adventure Space

Instead of filling your yard with plastic toys, consider adding simple natural elements such as:

logs for balancing
rocks for climbing
a digging area
a small garden bed
a mud kitchen

Children often create their own imaginative games when given simple materials.

Grow Something Together

Gardening is one of the easiest ways to introduce kids to sustainability. Even a small container garden can teach children where food comes from and how plants grow.

Easy plants for kids to grow include:

Watching plants grow helps children develop patience and responsibility.

Try a Nature Scavenger Hunt

Kids love searching for things outdoors. A simple nature scavenger hunt can turn an ordinary walk into an exciting adventure.

Look for items like:

a smooth rock
a feather
a yellow flower
a butterfly
a pinecone

Activities like this help children slow down and observe the world around them.

Why Slow Parenting Is Making a Comeback

Many parents today are realizing that childhood does not need to be perfectly scheduled or filled with constant activities. In fact, many families are embracing slow parenting, a lifestyle that encourages children to have more free time, creative play, and outdoor exploration.

Slow parenting aligns beautifully with sustainable living. Instead of focusing on more activities, more toys, and more entertainment, families focus on meaningful experiences and simple moments.

Children benefit from having space to explore, imagine, and discover things on their own.

Sustainable Parenting Is About Raising Future Stewards

At its heart, sustainable parenting is about more than eco-friendly products or reusable containers. It is about raising children who care about the planet and understand their place in the natural world.

When kids grow up exploring forests, gardens, parks, and backyards, they develop a sense of wonder and responsibility for the environment.

These experiences help shape the next generation of people who will protect and care for the earth.

Final Thoughts

Sustainable parenting does not have to be complicated. Sometimes the most powerful parenting choices are also the simplest ones.

A child digging in the dirt.
A family hike through the woods.
A garden growing in the backyard.

These small moments build curiosity, confidence, and a deep connection to nature.

Raising wild kids might just be one of the most meaningful ways to raise eco-conscious, creative, and resilient children in today’s world.

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