Track 192 — Mirth (86th unique emotion)
In D major (2♯), continuing the sharp-key ascent after Delight (C) and Whimsy (G, 1♯). The first oboe-led piece: bouncing motifs, dancing pizzicato, and celesta sparkles.
556 notes, 5 instruments, 5.64 n/s — 2nd highest density in the collection so far.
The Magician
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat" "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank.
The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day and another and another.
After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
Some things to ponder:
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
• The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
• The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
• The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
Have you heard the one about the gynaecologist, who after many years of plying his trade, wanted to learn some new skills. So he took an evening motor mechanics course at tech.
At the end of the semester, he was given a test where he had to strip a motor down and reassemble it. When he got the results back of the exam, his score was 150/100.
Thinking this was mistake, he queried it with his instructor. He was told: "I gave you 50% for stripping the motor down, and 50% for reassembly a beautiful job, couldn't have done it better myself - and 50% for doing it all through the muffler!"
At the library on day were two small boys and a middle aged woman reading a book. The two small boys were having a deep heated discussion on the subject of spelling.
"It's spelt W-W-W-W-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-B-B-B-B."
"No! It's spelled W-W-W-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-B-B-B."
The lady leans over and says kindly, "Excuse me boys, but I think you'll find that it's spelled 'W-O-M-B'."
The first boy replies, "Nah, I bet you've never even seen a hippopotamus, let alone heard one fart underwater!"
Golfer got married and sitting on edge of bed on wedding night and says to wife, "Honey I must confess I'm a golf nut and I play every day all day. However, you can always count on me for supper and the evening."
Wife Says. "Honey, I must confess, Before we got married I was a hooker."
Husband said. "That's OK -- to straighten out a hook put your left foot forward and turn your hands to the left."
A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road.
The woman said, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here forty years ago."
The guy stopped the car. His wife backed against the fence, and he immediately jumped her bones like a bass on a junebug. They made love like never before.
Back in the car, the guy says, "Darlin', you sure never moved like that forty years ago--or any time since that I can remember!"
The woman says, "Forty years ago that goddamn fence
wasn't electrified!"
A cop pulls over a car load of nuns..
COP: "Sister, this is a 65MPH zone, why are you going so slow?
NUN: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65"
COP:"Oh Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on."
NUN:"Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful"
At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.
COP:"Excuse me, SIster, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible."
NUN:"Oh, we just got off highway 119"
Joe drives buses for a living...
His bus stops to let on a passenger.
This attractive lady steps onto the bus and puts her right thumb to her nose and wiggles her fingers without saying a word. Joe, the driver puts his right thumb to his nose and his left thumb to the palm of his right hand and wiggles all eight of his fingers. The woman then looks a bit confused and in silence grabs her boobs! Joe in a growing lack of patience grabs his balls, the woman then turns around, grabs her ass and struts off the bus!!
A frequent passenger who sits at the front of the bus looks to the driver, and says, "Joe, I've been riding your bus for quite a few years now and I've never seen anything as vulgar as this! I'm going to have to ride a different route!"
Joe, the driver looks to the woman sitting in the front seat and replies, "You are mistaken, that woman was deaf. She asked me if this bus was headed for 5th. street, I said, 'no, 10th street.' She asked if it went to the Dairy Mart, I told her that it went to the ball park and she said, 'shit, I'm on the wrong bus' and left.'"
Aeon
Perth Wolfman