Mastodawn

What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I’ll ketch up #dadjoke

The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, "This changes everything"

Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

A millihelen is defined as the measure of beauty required to launch one ship.

My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me. #dadjoke

Phil.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.

How do you get a baby alien to sleep? You rocket. #dadjoke

I gave all my dead batteries away today, free of charge.